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| On Todd Akin, the Republican Party and the women who enable them | On Todd Akin, the Republican Party and the women who enable them |
| (8 months later) | |
| Thank God for Cindy McCain. Or to be more specific, thank God for Cindy McCain's tweet of yesterday: "Rape is rape Mr Akin." | Thank God for Cindy McCain. Or to be more specific, thank God for Cindy McCain's tweet of yesterday: "Rape is rape Mr Akin." |
| You'd think all women would be clear on the issue of sexual assault. | You'd think all women would be clear on the issue of sexual assault. |
| But it's not that simple. I've been wondering over the past 24 hours where the other women of the GOP stand on rape. There are vast numbers of them in the Republican Party (and the Tea Party) after all. | But it's not that simple. I've been wondering over the past 24 hours where the other women of the GOP stand on rape. There are vast numbers of them in the Republican Party (and the Tea Party) after all. |
| This morning when CNN reported that the draft language of the Republican platform includes a constitutional ban on abortion – with no exception mentioned for rape – I thought it's easy to blame all of this "anti-rape nonsense" on a patriarchal party. But the fact is a heavy blame-the-victim bias still exists in all cultures. And what none of us wants to admit is that much of that blame continues to emanate from women. | This morning when CNN reported that the draft language of the Republican platform includes a constitutional ban on abortion – with no exception mentioned for rape – I thought it's easy to blame all of this "anti-rape nonsense" on a patriarchal party. But the fact is a heavy blame-the-victim bias still exists in all cultures. And what none of us wants to admit is that much of that blame continues to emanate from women. |
| At some point in our lives, most women will have some kind of sexual experience that leaves us feeling uneasy, vulnerable, powerless – and ashamed. It might be what the Republicans have been calling "forcible rape", it might be an unwanted grope. It can be anything that we don't want to happen that we can't stop. You know what I'm talking about. If you're old enough to be reading this, chances are it's already happened to you in some form. | At some point in our lives, most women will have some kind of sexual experience that leaves us feeling uneasy, vulnerable, powerless – and ashamed. It might be what the Republicans have been calling "forcible rape", it might be an unwanted grope. It can be anything that we don't want to happen that we can't stop. You know what I'm talking about. If you're old enough to be reading this, chances are it's already happened to you in some form. |
| If it has, let me ask you, what did you do about it? Nothing? That's what most of us do. It's the easiest way to make it go away, we think. We tell ourselves it could have been worse as we try to go about our lives. And in doing so we blame ourselves to some degree. It's a short step from blaming ourselves to blaming all victims. But that step takes us from "rape is rape" to "rape – well, maybe …" | If it has, let me ask you, what did you do about it? Nothing? That's what most of us do. It's the easiest way to make it go away, we think. We tell ourselves it could have been worse as we try to go about our lives. And in doing so we blame ourselves to some degree. It's a short step from blaming ourselves to blaming all victims. But that step takes us from "rape is rape" to "rape – well, maybe …" |
| I've heard women I like and respect on every other issue sound completely insane on this topic. "What was she doing out after dark?" "Why did she get into a cab with him/them?" "Why was she drinking/her skirt so short?" "She has a bad reputation anyway." | I've heard women I like and respect on every other issue sound completely insane on this topic. "What was she doing out after dark?" "Why did she get into a cab with him/them?" "Why was she drinking/her skirt so short?" "She has a bad reputation anyway." |
| I've also heard women criticize other women for reporting incidents, for "making a fuss", instead of assuming the passive position after the event. This might explain why the department of justice continues to say that less than half of sexual assaults are taken to the authorities. | I've also heard women criticize other women for reporting incidents, for "making a fuss", instead of assuming the passive position after the event. This might explain why the department of justice continues to say that less than half of sexual assaults are taken to the authorities. |
| Why are we so harsh? Why so judgmental? Experts say women do this to reassure themselves that sexual assault won't happen to them. | Why are we so harsh? Why so judgmental? Experts say women do this to reassure themselves that sexual assault won't happen to them. |
| But we know that's not the case. If anything like this has ever happened to you, and you feel guilty and ashamed, you probably also feel enraged. If so, good. But direct your fury in the right direction. Judge the right person. And be kind to the woman who needs it. | But we know that's not the case. If anything like this has ever happened to you, and you feel guilty and ashamed, you probably also feel enraged. If so, good. But direct your fury in the right direction. Judge the right person. And be kind to the woman who needs it. |
| The November presidential election looks to be heading to be as much about women's rights as the economy. Women outnumber men in both the general population and the electorate. We can no longer blame an outmoded way of thinking on the patriarchy. These are OUR parties. This is OUR issue. Let's take control of it. | The November presidential election looks to be heading to be as much about women's rights as the economy. Women outnumber men in both the general population and the electorate. We can no longer blame an outmoded way of thinking on the patriarchy. These are OUR parties. This is OUR issue. Let's take control of it. |
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