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The politics of being 40 The politics of being 40
(about 2 hours later)
By Sean Coughlan BBC News MagazineBy Sean Coughlan BBC News Magazine
Carrying and pushing: the forty-year old in his natural habitatCarrying and pushing: the forty-year old in his natural habitat
David Cameron has hit the big four zero today. Want to understand the modern Conservative party? Forget the politics, it's a 40-year-old father thinking aloud.David Cameron has hit the big four zero today. Want to understand the modern Conservative party? Forget the politics, it's a 40-year-old father thinking aloud.
Have you noticed something about the Conservatives? Trying to look a bit more youthful, suddenly discovering that money isn't everything, obsessed with looking after the children.Have you noticed something about the Conservatives? Trying to look a bit more youthful, suddenly discovering that money isn't everything, obsessed with looking after the children.
Yes, it's a 40-year-old man thinking aloud. David Cameron has hit the big four-zero. And the Conservative party is reverberating with the anxieties familiar to anyone in this greying hair, growing kids' time-zone.Yes, it's a 40-year-old man thinking aloud. David Cameron has hit the big four-zero. And the Conservative party is reverberating with the anxieties familiar to anyone in this greying hair, growing kids' time-zone.
Forget the politics, just listen to the speeches.Forget the politics, just listen to the speeches.
"Think what it's like when you're left on your own to look after the kids. If I'm in charge on my own for just a few hours the place looks like a bomb's hit it. Imagine looking after children all on your own all the time.""Think what it's like when you're left on your own to look after the kids. If I'm in charge on my own for just a few hours the place looks like a bomb's hit it. Imagine looking after children all on your own all the time."
What's that from? It was Cameron's big policy speech to the party conference last week in Bournemouth.What's that from? It was Cameron's big policy speech to the party conference last week in Bournemouth.
Bournemouth. That'll be nice for the kids. Bit of beach, they'll like that. Isn't there that monkey zoo nearby? Saw it on Animal Planet. Wanted to watch the football, but they'd hidden the remote...Bournemouth. That'll be nice for the kids. Bit of beach, they'll like that. Isn't there that monkey zoo nearby? Saw it on Animal Planet. Wanted to watch the football, but they'd hidden the remote...
Sorry, what was that? Yes, speech to the conference. Modernising. Green. Hospitals. Sorry, can't get that Balamory tune out of my head. Yes, taxes. I'll mention taxes. Wouldn't you like to know.Sorry, what was that? Yes, speech to the conference. Modernising. Green. Hospitals. Sorry, can't get that Balamory tune out of my head. Yes, taxes. I'll mention taxes. Wouldn't you like to know.
Work-life imbalanceWork-life imbalance
If you want to understand the changing face of the Conservatives, consider the obsessions of the fortysomething parent.If you want to understand the changing face of the Conservatives, consider the obsessions of the fortysomething parent.
"Sorry. I've left the buggy in the restaurant.""Sorry. I've left the buggy in the restaurant."
Having children means discovering stuff like hospitals and schools. They're no longer just public services, they have a very private significance. They suddenly seem much more important than before.Having children means discovering stuff like hospitals and schools. They're no longer just public services, they have a very private significance. They suddenly seem much more important than before.
Sit where fortysomethings gather and listen. They're not talking about Europe or macro-economics. They're talking about schools, houses and work. And how do you balance work with that over-riding obsession - children?Sit where fortysomethings gather and listen. They're not talking about Europe or macro-economics. They're talking about schools, houses and work. And how do you balance work with that over-riding obsession - children?
"Imagine trying to hold down a job with an employer who isn't understanding about the fact that you might have to disappear at a moment's notice..." As Cameron told his party's followers in Bournemouth."Imagine trying to hold down a job with an employer who isn't understanding about the fact that you might have to disappear at a moment's notice..." As Cameron told his party's followers in Bournemouth.
If he'd carried on talking, the Conservatives would have committed themselves to buggies that you can fold one-handed and free counselling services for parents shell-shocked by four-hour nursery rhyme tapes for long journeys.If he'd carried on talking, the Conservatives would have committed themselves to buggies that you can fold one-handed and free counselling services for parents shell-shocked by four-hour nursery rhyme tapes for long journeys.
Green backsGreen backs
And all that green stuff. You never have time or energy to get inside a pub or a cinema any more, but instead you find yourself in parks, countryside tourist attractions and fake farms for toddlers. You've found that the environment doesn't... er... grow on trees.And all that green stuff. You never have time or energy to get inside a pub or a cinema any more, but instead you find yourself in parks, countryside tourist attractions and fake farms for toddlers. You've found that the environment doesn't... er... grow on trees.
DIY skills: Get this patched up before they get back homeDIY skills: Get this patched up before they get back home
It's now an important place, the countryside. And because you're getting a bit older, it's more attractive, less noisy, more comfortable. You want your environment, like your pop music, a little more mellow. Wow, that tree looks really rugged and interesting. It could be a kind of symbol for...It's now an important place, the countryside. And because you're getting a bit older, it's more attractive, less noisy, more comfortable. You want your environment, like your pop music, a little more mellow. Wow, that tree looks really rugged and interesting. It could be a kind of symbol for...
Get a bike, that's a way of being green and keeping fit. Might get back into those jeans again. Mind you, a bike's not much use for carrying stuff, so hang on to the cars too. Being 40 is about wanting to have it both ways.Get a bike, that's a way of being green and keeping fit. Might get back into those jeans again. Mind you, a bike's not much use for carrying stuff, so hang on to the cars too. Being 40 is about wanting to have it both ways.
But being 40 is also about the first grey hairs of doubt. What is it all about? What's the story? What happened to that youthful younger self? I've got the trainers, but do I still have hope?But being 40 is also about the first grey hairs of doubt. What is it all about? What's the story? What happened to that youthful younger self? I've got the trainers, but do I still have hope?
"In their 20s, full of idealism and vocation. By their 40s, far too many are demoralised. From idealism to demoralisation in half a career. How can we do this to people?""In their 20s, full of idealism and vocation. By their 40s, far too many are demoralised. From idealism to demoralisation in half a career. How can we do this to people?"
OK, Cameron was talking about some staff in the NHS, but think guy approaching 40 next week looking in mirror.OK, Cameron was talking about some staff in the NHS, but think guy approaching 40 next week looking in mirror.
Am I a success or already a failure? Cameron was born in the same autumn as Tony Adams and Roman Abramovich. Think how much they've achieved by the age of 40.Am I a success or already a failure? Cameron was born in the same autumn as Tony Adams and Roman Abramovich. Think how much they've achieved by the age of 40.
And why do I keep delivering speeches in tiny sentences? Like children's television. Not all bad. No point being gloomy. Only 40. Look at Morrissey. Maybe I could get a suit like his.And why do I keep delivering speeches in tiny sentences? Like children's television. Not all bad. No point being gloomy. Only 40. Look at Morrissey. Maybe I could get a suit like his.
"Let us be confident as we say, together, here today. The best is yet to come.""Let us be confident as we say, together, here today. The best is yet to come."


Add your comments on this story, using the form below.Add your comments on this story, using the form below.
Oh my goodness, this could have been written for me, knocking on the door of 40 as I am, with a 2 year old daughter. Thanks very much by the way, I've got the Balamory tune in my head now, which is probably where it will stay for the rest of the day..Joanne, LeedsOh my goodness, this could have been written for me, knocking on the door of 40 as I am, with a 2 year old daughter. Thanks very much by the way, I've got the Balamory tune in my head now, which is probably where it will stay for the rest of the day..Joanne, Leeds
I do so agree Joanne - both to the accuracy of the article and to getting Balamory stuck in my head. Thank you so much.Hazel, PrestonI do so agree Joanne - both to the accuracy of the article and to getting Balamory stuck in my head. Thank you so much.Hazel, Preston
I am rapidly approaching 40 and it doesn't scare me - it terrifies me! Where has my life gone? Life begins at 40? Looking at the 60 year olds around here, life is short. Over the hill? What hill? I don't remember any hill...Rob, Sleaford
I will be 40 next year with two young kids and I have started thinking like it says in the article already. Is that good or bad? Mind you I haven't acheived even a quarter of what Cameron, Adams and Abramovich have done!Adjoa, LondonI will be 40 next year with two young kids and I have started thinking like it says in the article already. Is that good or bad? Mind you I haven't acheived even a quarter of what Cameron, Adams and Abramovich have done!Adjoa, London
Do I detect some ageism here. I am 41 with one daughter aged 18 months and another child on the way and a much younger wife ...you would think I was 99 years old for the way people treat me. Being forty plus and a Dad is triumph of experience over youth... and youth is wasted on the young.Andrew, BristolDo I detect some ageism here. I am 41 with one daughter aged 18 months and another child on the way and a much younger wife ...you would think I was 99 years old for the way people treat me. Being forty plus and a Dad is triumph of experience over youth... and youth is wasted on the young.Andrew, Bristol
I'm 41 with four kids, and I have to say it's them that keep me young at heart. A few grey hairs is nothing to worry about, it's the aches and pains that come from nowhere and how your joints don't like being on hard surfaces for too long, old age creeps up on you, but I implore all of you budding middle age people to not give up!John, Croydon
I'm a father of three at age 24 and find most of the 'concerns' of fellow fathers, especially the more middle-aged, middle-class ones, incredibly tiresome. Children have just become another topic for one-upmanship and black-slapping chit-chat for the prosperous middle classes and that all the Tories ever have and ever will represent.TP, CambridgeI'm a father of three at age 24 and find most of the 'concerns' of fellow fathers, especially the more middle-aged, middle-class ones, incredibly tiresome. Children have just become another topic for one-upmanship and black-slapping chit-chat for the prosperous middle classes and that all the Tories ever have and ever will represent.TP, Cambridge
Can you tell me which age group does spend time talking about Europe and macroeconomics because I bet they have exciting lives!Chris Wills, Fareham
Growing up, we had a sundial in the back garden with the phrase "Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be." We're still waiting.Candace, New Jersey, USGrowing up, we had a sundial in the back garden with the phrase "Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be." We're still waiting.Candace, New Jersey, US
This proves something I've long suspected - being 40 isn't so bad, to be 40 and childless is heaven!Michelle, LondonThis proves something I've long suspected - being 40 isn't so bad, to be 40 and childless is heaven!Michelle, London
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