Why do GPs show so little sympathy for women's fertility problems?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/aug/29/gps-no-understanding-womens-fertility

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The survey that has found half of infertile woman find their GP unsympathetic or ignorant about their condition comes as no surprise to me. I must have seen 18 GPs over the nine years I have been trying to have a baby and bar one, a woman, none of them showed any sympathy towards me or any knowledge about what help I may need or where I could get it.

I'd never had a problem with GPs before. I'm deaf in one ear and have rheumatoid arthritis and they've always known what to do about these conditions, but when it comes to problems having a child they have just tried to fob me off. It started when I was pregnant for a second time. My first pregnancy was ectopic, which was very distressing, and I was told to get a scan when I became pregnant again by the gynaecological team who removed the first ectopic pregnancy as the same problem could happen again. We'd moved house, so I went to my new GP. But his response to my request for a scan was: "There's no need for that, touch wood you'll be fine." I was gobsmacked but refused to leave his room until he referred me to the hospital. I put in a complaint about him and moved surgeries.

Unfortunately, my fears about my second pregnancy were founded. It was ectopic and was followed by a third ectopic pregnancy. The GPs seemed to have no idea, and didn't seem to care why I couldn't have children. I don't know if it's because you don't see the same GP from one appointment to the next. It's not like the old family GP you know from birth who knows you and your family's history. Now there is no continuity of care. When I asked for some counselling to get me through losing three babies because I couldn't cope psychologically, the GP sent me to a general counselling service. They said I needed help for bereavement. I eventually found a specialised charity myself.

My next option was to go down the IVF route. I was in my early 30s and by now had only one fallopian tube. When I tried to find out whether my husband and I were eligible for NHS funding, my GP couldn't tell me. When we discovered that we weren't eligible because my husband already has two children – although it had been established by then that it was my problem because my tubes didn't work – my GP could have assisted us to appeal against this decision. He said he'd put it to the board of GPs but unless you are constantly bugging them, you never hear anything. They didn't appeal.

What I don't understand is why GP surgeries don't have a basic information pack with a list of IVF clinics in the area that they can recommend. Given that women are waiting longer to have children and then discovering they have problems conceiving, there must be a growing demand for these services and GPs should step up to the mark. We had to research clinics ourselves on the internet.

But it's not just GPs who show a lack of compassion and understanding when it comes to fertility issues. Ahead of the IVF treatment I was referred to a male gynaecological consultant by the IVF clinic to check that my one tube wasn't blocked and to get it removed at the request of the IVF consultant. I asked if he would remove the tube during the procedure. When I came to, he said he hadn't done as I'd requested because in his words: He wasn't "going to sterilise a 33-year-old woman, he'd rather I had 28 more ectopic pregnancies as with the tube there was still a chance, not matter how slim". Anyone who has had to endure an ectopic pregnancy themselves would never say that.

Our first attempt at IVF was unsuccessful, resulting in a further ectopic pregnancy, followed by further surgery to remove that final tube and parts of my uterus. A year on, I have been sterilised and we are now contemplating whether or not I am brave enough to try IVF again. If I am, I will not doubt have to confront more unhelpful doctors' attitudes. It shouldn't have to be like this.