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| Version 1 | Version 2 |
|---|---|
| Hideously diverse Britain: Muslim mates and the demon drink | Hideously diverse Britain: Muslim mates and the demon drink |
| (about 1 month later) | |
| I'm drinking with my old friend Anwar. Not the Saturday night, falling down kind of drinking. Too old for that now. And Anwar wouldn't do it anyway. He's an observant Muslim. So we're gulping a malt thing from Dubai. Barbican, 0% alcohol. What passes for beer in parts of the Middle East and sections of Arab-tinged central London. "This is drinking, Jim," as they would have said in Star Trek. "But not as we know it." | I'm drinking with my old friend Anwar. Not the Saturday night, falling down kind of drinking. Too old for that now. And Anwar wouldn't do it anyway. He's an observant Muslim. So we're gulping a malt thing from Dubai. Barbican, 0% alcohol. What passes for beer in parts of the Middle East and sections of Arab-tinged central London. "This is drinking, Jim," as they would have said in Star Trek. "But not as we know it." |
| The first idea was that we would drink waard. (Pronounce that "vard": a fizzy mixture of rosewater and pomegranate.) It's the treat that Premier League sponsors will give Muslim footballers judged man of the match. For years, the reward was a bottle of champagne, but that didn't seem much of a treat to the Muslim players. Manchester City player Yaya Touré rejected his live on television. "You keep it," he said to a teammate. Chastened, the league's sponsors decided on what human resources types call "reasonable accommodation". Waard, already used to douse the winner of the Bahrain Grand Prix, was that reasonable accommodation. I searched for a bottle. Tried Harrods and the Edgware Road in London, the "23rd Arab state". Nothing doing. Still the Premier League is rich. It can fly some in. | The first idea was that we would drink waard. (Pronounce that "vard": a fizzy mixture of rosewater and pomegranate.) It's the treat that Premier League sponsors will give Muslim footballers judged man of the match. For years, the reward was a bottle of champagne, but that didn't seem much of a treat to the Muslim players. Manchester City player Yaya Touré rejected his live on television. "You keep it," he said to a teammate. Chastened, the league's sponsors decided on what human resources types call "reasonable accommodation". Waard, already used to douse the winner of the Bahrain Grand Prix, was that reasonable accommodation. I searched for a bottle. Tried Harrods and the Edgware Road in London, the "23rd Arab state". Nothing doing. Still the Premier League is rich. It can fly some in. |
| Waard made me think of Anwar because we'd worked together in another era, in TV and on a tabloid, when journalism was boozy. The office would migrate to the pub and Anwar would be there, cradling orange juice. | Waard made me think of Anwar because we'd worked together in another era, in TV and on a tabloid, when journalism was boozy. The office would migrate to the pub and Anwar would be there, cradling orange juice. |
| We assumed he was teetotal. We didn't really ask. Then came 11 September. That filled the gaps in our knowledge. | We assumed he was teetotal. We didn't really ask. Then came 11 September. That filled the gaps in our knowledge. |
| What was it like being sober when we were all soused, I ask him? Quite funny, he says. "People would be jolly, then they would cross this line and almost move on to another planet. Some people would be happier; others sad or aggressive. I'd wonder if I was seeing what they were really like." | What was it like being sober when we were all soused, I ask him? Quite funny, he says. "People would be jolly, then they would cross this line and almost move on to another planet. Some people would be happier; others sad or aggressive. I'd wonder if I was seeing what they were really like." |
| It was his Desmond Morris experience – observing sober types become drunk – though he never became censorious. You should have been in Saudi during the first Gulf war, I told him; watching those same types stay sober. | It was his Desmond Morris experience – observing sober types become drunk – though he never became censorious. You should have been in Saudi during the first Gulf war, I told him; watching those same types stay sober. |
| There were tales of journos stuffing bread into the bottlenecks of alcohol-free beer, hoping it might ferment. Don't try it at home kids. It doesn't work. | There were tales of journos stuffing bread into the bottlenecks of alcohol-free beer, hoping it might ferment. Don't try it at home kids. It doesn't work. |
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