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| Oliver Burkeman's election diary … the long good Biden | Oliver Burkeman's election diary … the long good Biden |
| (about 1 month later) | |
| • First came the suspension of politics. Then, exactly one day later, came the awkward splitting of reality into two: bipartisanship of a genuinely stirring kind in those areas worst hit by Sandy – and the resumption of warfare elsewhere. As Barack Obama and the New Jersey governor, Chris Christie, surveyed storm damage, the president's press secretary told reporters: "It's not a time for politics." Translated from Washingtonese, that meant "release the Biden" – and the vice-president responded with a Greatest Hits retrospective. "I'm being a good Biden today," he told one crowd, though he did also call the Cleveland Plain Dealer, an Ohio paper, "one of the major newspapers in this state", which technically speaking wasn't Ohio but Florida. He also needlessly risked offence by asking a member of the public "Are you Indian?" ("American," the man replied.) And he insisted on telephoning one supporter's Republican brother, engaging him in an impromptu debate on healthcare, then expressing the hope that "you'll vote for me in 2016" – thereby apparently announcing a run for the presidency. | • First came the suspension of politics. Then, exactly one day later, came the awkward splitting of reality into two: bipartisanship of a genuinely stirring kind in those areas worst hit by Sandy – and the resumption of warfare elsewhere. As Barack Obama and the New Jersey governor, Chris Christie, surveyed storm damage, the president's press secretary told reporters: "It's not a time for politics." Translated from Washingtonese, that meant "release the Biden" – and the vice-president responded with a Greatest Hits retrospective. "I'm being a good Biden today," he told one crowd, though he did also call the Cleveland Plain Dealer, an Ohio paper, "one of the major newspapers in this state", which technically speaking wasn't Ohio but Florida. He also needlessly risked offence by asking a member of the public "Are you Indian?" ("American," the man replied.) And he insisted on telephoning one supporter's Republican brother, engaging him in an impromptu debate on healthcare, then expressing the hope that "you'll vote for me in 2016" – thereby apparently announcing a run for the presidency. |
| • Not that the president's camp seemed troubled. Indeed, Obama's senior adviser, David Axelrod, was so sure of victory in the crucial states of Michigan, Minnesota and Pennsylvania, he told NBC, that he'd "come on [television] and I will shave off my moustache of 40 years if we lose any of those three states". The American Moustache Institute ("protecting the rights of, and fighting discrimination against, moustached Americans"), which exists solely for comedic purposes, condemned the offer as "incredibly irresponsible". All credit to the Washington Post's Natalie Jennings, though, for pointing out that at least Axelrod was "willing to put his money slightly above where his mouth is". Current polling averages suggest his facial hair is probably safe – though it could be close. No, not a "close shave". We're not writing gags for Joe Biden here. | • Not that the president's camp seemed troubled. Indeed, Obama's senior adviser, David Axelrod, was so sure of victory in the crucial states of Michigan, Minnesota and Pennsylvania, he told NBC, that he'd "come on [television] and I will shave off my moustache of 40 years if we lose any of those three states". The American Moustache Institute ("protecting the rights of, and fighting discrimination against, moustached Americans"), which exists solely for comedic purposes, condemned the offer as "incredibly irresponsible". All credit to the Washington Post's Natalie Jennings, though, for pointing out that at least Axelrod was "willing to put his money slightly above where his mouth is". Current polling averages suggest his facial hair is probably safe – though it could be close. No, not a "close shave". We're not writing gags for Joe Biden here. |
| • Just how deep does political division run in the toss-up state of Colorado? The highways outside the city of Boulder are peppered with the burrows of prairie dogs, a species of rodent related to the squirrel, and also, it seems, blessed with a degree of political awareness unusual among herbivorous burrowing animals. The Boulder Daily Camera newspaper reports that tiny "yard signs" have started to appear outside their roadside burrows, bearing the logos of the Romney and Obama campaigns. The split in signage was roughly 50/50, suggesting that neither side can yet feel confident in having locked down the prairie dog vote, though admittedly it's also possible that the whole thing is some kind of prank. (Prairie dogs are well-known for their love of practical jokes.) | • Just how deep does political division run in the toss-up state of Colorado? The highways outside the city of Boulder are peppered with the burrows of prairie dogs, a species of rodent related to the squirrel, and also, it seems, blessed with a degree of political awareness unusual among herbivorous burrowing animals. The Boulder Daily Camera newspaper reports that tiny "yard signs" have started to appear outside their roadside burrows, bearing the logos of the Romney and Obama campaigns. The split in signage was roughly 50/50, suggesting that neither side can yet feel confident in having locked down the prairie dog vote, though admittedly it's also possible that the whole thing is some kind of prank. (Prairie dogs are well-known for their love of practical jokes.) |
| • Squeaking in under the wire comes the election's best campaign ad, from Richard Tisei, a Republican congressional candidate from Massachusetts. It consists of 27 seconds of relaxing footage of a Massachusetts beach, apparently at sunrise, the waves lapping gently on the sand. "Because you need a break from all the campaign ads," reads the caption. Contemplative quiet, gentle humour, and an appreciation for the natural environment: why haven't the Republicans expelled Tisei yet? | • Squeaking in under the wire comes the election's best campaign ad, from Richard Tisei, a Republican congressional candidate from Massachusetts. It consists of 27 seconds of relaxing footage of a Massachusetts beach, apparently at sunrise, the waves lapping gently on the sand. "Because you need a break from all the campaign ads," reads the caption. Contemplative quiet, gentle humour, and an appreciation for the natural environment: why haven't the Republicans expelled Tisei yet? |
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