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| Version 0 | Version 1 |
|---|---|
| Baby tips for Kate – from sister Pippa Middleton | Baby tips for Kate – from sister Pippa Middleton |
| (4 months later) | |
| • Women often get a bit bigger when they're pregnant. Prepare for this by buying bigger clothes, or maybe some sacks. | • Women often get a bit bigger when they're pregnant. Prepare for this by buying bigger clothes, or maybe some sacks. |
| • Childbirth can be a painful experience. Alleviate this by singing happy songs from childhood. Drugs, too. | • Childbirth can be a painful experience. Alleviate this by singing happy songs from childhood. Drugs, too. |
| • Babies are smaller than adults, so don't dress your baby in your clothes. Instead, buy special "baby clothes", which are like normal clothes but smaller. | • Babies are smaller than adults, so don't dress your baby in your clothes. Instead, buy special "baby clothes", which are like normal clothes but smaller. |
| • When water comes out of your baby's eyes, your baby is not leaking – your baby is crying. | • When water comes out of your baby's eyes, your baby is not leaking – your baby is crying. |
| • Babies sometimes cry (see above) when they are hungry. Soothe your baby by giving it some milk, or maybe some gin. | • Babies sometimes cry (see above) when they are hungry. Soothe your baby by giving it some milk, or maybe some gin. |
| • If your baby does not talk to you, this does not mean your baby doesn't like you. Babies cannot talk. | • If your baby does not talk to you, this does not mean your baby doesn't like you. Babies cannot talk. |
| • When your baby keeps you up all night you will not look so pretty the next day. This is because you will be tired. • When it's time for your baby to sleep, put it in something called a "cot". For warmth, add blankets. | • When your baby keeps you up all night you will not look so pretty the next day. This is because you will be tired. • When it's time for your baby to sleep, put it in something called a "cot". For warmth, add blankets. |
| • When your baby makes a little poo, get someone else to change its nappy because that is disgusting. | • When your baby makes a little poo, get someone else to change its nappy because that is disgusting. |
| • Babies cannot eat yummy British foods such as shepherd's pie or drink Pimm's because they are babies. Instead, either buy your own baby food or make your own. Yum! | • Babies cannot eat yummy British foods such as shepherd's pie or drink Pimm's because they are babies. Instead, either buy your own baby food or make your own. Yum! |
| • When you want to take your baby down the street, try using a pram instead of a wheelbarrow or wheelchair. | • When you want to take your baby down the street, try using a pram instead of a wheelbarrow or wheelchair. |
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