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The Secret Life of Dogs: is ITV overdosing on pooches? The Secret Life of Dogs: is ITV overdosing on pooches?
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In the great Venn diagram of life, there's a strong likelihood that you dwell in the intersection between "I love dogs" and "I bear no specific ill feeling towards Martin Clunes". If this describes you, then cancel all your plans for this evening immediately. For those who like dogs and don't mind Martin Clunes very much, ITV's The Secret Life of Dogs – in which Clunes will trace the life of a labrador and hear stories about lifesaving canines – promises to be a treat.In the great Venn diagram of life, there's a strong likelihood that you dwell in the intersection between "I love dogs" and "I bear no specific ill feeling towards Martin Clunes". If this describes you, then cancel all your plans for this evening immediately. For those who like dogs and don't mind Martin Clunes very much, ITV's The Secret Life of Dogs – in which Clunes will trace the life of a labrador and hear stories about lifesaving canines – promises to be a treat.
If you're wondering whether you've seen The Secret Life of Dogs before, you haven't. You're thinking of the 2008 ITV series Martin Clunes: A Man and his Dogs. Or ITV's Paul O'Grady: For the Love of Dogs, which is basically Martin Clunes: A Man and his Dogs but with Paul O'Grady instead of Clunes. Or possibly ITV's Christmas canine talent show That Dog Can Dance! Or ITV2's Top Dog Model, where Stacey Solomon looked at some dogs to decide which one was the prettiest.If you're wondering whether you've seen The Secret Life of Dogs before, you haven't. You're thinking of the 2008 ITV series Martin Clunes: A Man and his Dogs. Or ITV's Paul O'Grady: For the Love of Dogs, which is basically Martin Clunes: A Man and his Dogs but with Paul O'Grady instead of Clunes. Or possibly ITV's Christmas canine talent show That Dog Can Dance! Or ITV2's Top Dog Model, where Stacey Solomon looked at some dogs to decide which one was the prettiest.
My point is that ITV seems to be in the grip of a slightly irrational dog infatuation. That's no bad thing in itself – with the country on the brink of a triple-dip recession, you can forgive people for wanting to switch their minds off and watch an hour of frollicking puppies. And now that For the Love of Dogs has won a National Television Award, ITV has all the proof it needs that the public loves dog shows, even if it doesn't. My point is that ITV seems to be in the grip of a slightly irrational dog infatuation. That's no bad thing in itself – with the country on the brink of a triple-dip recession, you can forgive people for wanting to switch their minds off and watch an hour of frolicking puppies. And now that For the Love of Dogs has won a National Television Award, ITV has all the proof it needs that the public loves dog shows, even if it doesn't.
You know who I blame for this? Pudsey. Before Pudsey won half a million pounds on Britain's Got Talent for essentially following a woman around, ITV's schedules were relatively dog-free. And now we're swimming in dogs. It's indicative of ITV's determination to never let a good thing go until it's squeezed every inch of life out of it.You know who I blame for this? Pudsey. Before Pudsey won half a million pounds on Britain's Got Talent for essentially following a woman around, ITV's schedules were relatively dog-free. And now we're swimming in dogs. It's indicative of ITV's determination to never let a good thing go until it's squeezed every inch of life out of it.
Right now, there's probably a man in a conference room looking at a picture of Pudsey and a news story about O'Grady's NTA win, desperately trying to work out how he can cram even more dogs into the ITV schedules. A dog-based spin-off of The Cube? Getting a dachshund to co-host The Agenda alongside Tom Bradby? Rebranding ITV as Dog Dog Dog and replacing all the shows with a single static close-up of a chow chow in a hat?Right now, there's probably a man in a conference room looking at a picture of Pudsey and a news story about O'Grady's NTA win, desperately trying to work out how he can cram even more dogs into the ITV schedules. A dog-based spin-off of The Cube? Getting a dachshund to co-host The Agenda alongside Tom Bradby? Rebranding ITV as Dog Dog Dog and replacing all the shows with a single static close-up of a chow chow in a hat?
The thing is, nobody needs ITV to keep churning out these dog shows. There are tens of digital channels that more or less broadcast dog shows around the clock. It's the only thing they do, and the shows are all invariably much better than ITV's output.The thing is, nobody needs ITV to keep churning out these dog shows. There are tens of digital channels that more or less broadcast dog shows around the clock. It's the only thing they do, and the shows are all invariably much better than ITV's output.
Unlike ITV's offerings, these shows have the space to be as specific as they want. Take Animal Planet's Dogs 101, for example. It's an exhaustive breed-by-breed rundown on every single dog there is, based on what they eat and how energetic they are and the diseases they're likely to contract. It's easily the best factual dog programme around. Alternatively, for people who just want to veg out in front of something so adorable that it'll rot your teeth, there's Too Cute, which is basically an hour-long screensaver of fluffy puppies sneezing and falling over and herding ducklings in a meadow.Unlike ITV's offerings, these shows have the space to be as specific as they want. Take Animal Planet's Dogs 101, for example. It's an exhaustive breed-by-breed rundown on every single dog there is, based on what they eat and how energetic they are and the diseases they're likely to contract. It's easily the best factual dog programme around. Alternatively, for people who just want to veg out in front of something so adorable that it'll rot your teeth, there's Too Cute, which is basically an hour-long screensaver of fluffy puppies sneezing and falling over and herding ducklings in a meadow.
Or there's the peerless My Dog Ate What? on National Geographic – a 999-style reconstruction show about dogs that eat stupid things. One episode is called Fish Hooks, Spoons and Coins, and deals with dogs that have eaten fish hooks, spoons and coins. My favourite episode is a toss-up between Tampons, Muscle Relaxants and A Needle and Thongs, Pacifiers and $800.Or there's the peerless My Dog Ate What? on National Geographic – a 999-style reconstruction show about dogs that eat stupid things. One episode is called Fish Hooks, Spoons and Coins, and deals with dogs that have eaten fish hooks, spoons and coins. My favourite episode is a toss-up between Tampons, Muscle Relaxants and A Needle and Thongs, Pacifiers and $800.
With all of this dedicated programming covering so many bases, ITV doesn't need to waste so much time on dogs. Yes, the occasional documentary is fine, but spare us the sight of Stacey Solomon judging doggy photo shoots. If ever there was a sign that a trend has jumped the shark, it's that.With all of this dedicated programming covering so many bases, ITV doesn't need to waste so much time on dogs. Yes, the occasional documentary is fine, but spare us the sight of Stacey Solomon judging doggy photo shoots. If ever there was a sign that a trend has jumped the shark, it's that.