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| High heels a leveller for women? Try running against a guy in trainers | High heels a leveller for women? Try running against a guy in trainers |
| (7 months later) | |
| Every season or so, fashion insiders will emerge from their underground HQs and announce that a previous style stalwart is now officially "over". In some cases, as with the immortal skinny jean, the public will refuse to listen, and will spend the next few months laughing snidely at every passing fashion victim's palazzo pants, but in other cases, the sheeple will obey, and said trend is consigned to the skip. Fashion and the ordinary woman are engaged in a constant, circular game of catch-up, but, like the poor little Tatler dog, are ultimately unable to escape the revolving door. | Every season or so, fashion insiders will emerge from their underground HQs and announce that a previous style stalwart is now officially "over". In some cases, as with the immortal skinny jean, the public will refuse to listen, and will spend the next few months laughing snidely at every passing fashion victim's palazzo pants, but in other cases, the sheeple will obey, and said trend is consigned to the skip. Fashion and the ordinary woman are engaged in a constant, circular game of catch-up, but, like the poor little Tatler dog, are ultimately unable to escape the revolving door. |
| In this case, it is high heels that are out in favour of flats, and I must admit I gave a little inward cheer at the news. Dour-faced feminist though I am, I do like following fashion, and have even been known to strap those little tools of the patriarchy to my own feet. There was a time when I wore little else, which is why my feet now have the arched, plastic appearance of a Barbie doll engaged in pointe work. While I'm not of the ilk that believes high heels are incompatible with a belief in gender equality, I do have health and safety concerns. | In this case, it is high heels that are out in favour of flats, and I must admit I gave a little inward cheer at the news. Dour-faced feminist though I am, I do like following fashion, and have even been known to strap those little tools of the patriarchy to my own feet. There was a time when I wore little else, which is why my feet now have the arched, plastic appearance of a Barbie doll engaged in pointe work. While I'm not of the ilk that believes high heels are incompatible with a belief in gender equality, I do have health and safety concerns. |
| High heels, by their very nature, make you less mobile than anyone on the ground. Those who claim that high heels have a levelling effect, presumably because they enable shoulder-padded women to meet men eye-to-eye in some odious imaginary boardroom, never seem to have tried to run the 100m against a guy in trainers, let alone walk in them. Furthermore, if they really made you a powerful superhuman as some women claim they do, then why aren't the entire cabinet, also known as "the real tools of the patriarchy" wearing 5" Jimmy Choos to cabinet meetings? | High heels, by their very nature, make you less mobile than anyone on the ground. Those who claim that high heels have a levelling effect, presumably because they enable shoulder-padded women to meet men eye-to-eye in some odious imaginary boardroom, never seem to have tried to run the 100m against a guy in trainers, let alone walk in them. Furthermore, if they really made you a powerful superhuman as some women claim they do, then why aren't the entire cabinet, also known as "the real tools of the patriarchy" wearing 5" Jimmy Choos to cabinet meetings? |
| Regardless of how practised you are, sky-high heels can make you fall over most spectacularly. Part of the reason I'd say flats are back in fashion is because designers had reached a point where they could not legitimately make heels any higher without accidental deaths soaring and a worldwide taxi shortage ensuing. Jennifer Lawrence is the latest celebrity to have stacked it, at the Oscars, something she handled with grace and aplomb, but it's a common occurrence. While interning at a top fashion magazine (where barely anyone, incidentally, wore heels), watching models fall over became something of an occupation. | Regardless of how practised you are, sky-high heels can make you fall over most spectacularly. Part of the reason I'd say flats are back in fashion is because designers had reached a point where they could not legitimately make heels any higher without accidental deaths soaring and a worldwide taxi shortage ensuing. Jennifer Lawrence is the latest celebrity to have stacked it, at the Oscars, something she handled with grace and aplomb, but it's a common occurrence. While interning at a top fashion magazine (where barely anyone, incidentally, wore heels), watching models fall over became something of an occupation. |
| This lack of mobility is perhaps why young women are always being lectured to avoid stilettos, most recently by Joanna Lumley, who claimed dressing "like trash" made you more susceptible to rape. A shame, because I was always was a fan of the trampy trash look, myself. Similarly, Caitlin Moran got into "internet trouble" (a phrase I use to differentiate between real-word controversy and that which lasts an afternoon) for suggesting in an interview that the clack clack clack of high heels on a darkened street can act as an alert system for potential attackers. | This lack of mobility is perhaps why young women are always being lectured to avoid stilettos, most recently by Joanna Lumley, who claimed dressing "like trash" made you more susceptible to rape. A shame, because I was always was a fan of the trampy trash look, myself. Similarly, Caitlin Moran got into "internet trouble" (a phrase I use to differentiate between real-word controversy and that which lasts an afternoon) for suggesting in an interview that the clack clack clack of high heels on a darkened street can act as an alert system for potential attackers. |
| I'm of the belief that a rapist, and only a rapist, is responsible for his crime, and will rape regardless of your footwear, but the ensuing Twitter storm did ignore how Moran had pinpointed the exact reason why so many of us carry flats in our bags: tottering around four inches or more above the ground can make you feel vulnerable in a way that a man in loafers never will. Perhaps this is why I consider flats as part of my handbag crime-fighting kit along with makeshift pepper hairspray and a rape alarm. They give me the illusion of safety in a world that is far from safe, where your choice of footwear ultimately signifies nothing in the lottery of violent crime. Still, when I was attacked, I kicked them off to run. Only a fool would deny that they impede you in that respect. | I'm of the belief that a rapist, and only a rapist, is responsible for his crime, and will rape regardless of your footwear, but the ensuing Twitter storm did ignore how Moran had pinpointed the exact reason why so many of us carry flats in our bags: tottering around four inches or more above the ground can make you feel vulnerable in a way that a man in loafers never will. Perhaps this is why I consider flats as part of my handbag crime-fighting kit along with makeshift pepper hairspray and a rape alarm. They give me the illusion of safety in a world that is far from safe, where your choice of footwear ultimately signifies nothing in the lottery of violent crime. Still, when I was attacked, I kicked them off to run. Only a fool would deny that they impede you in that respect. |
| These are all reasons to cheer at the new trend for trainers, ballet pumps, slippers and brogues, though I doubt we've seen the back of high heels just yet. As the red carpets demonstrate, they have a magical ability to make your bum look amazing, something which is supposed to be the Number One Top Concern of all Women Everywhere, so I doubt very much that we'll stop wearing them any time soon. Perhaps, like me, women will start to view them as necessary only for special occasions that necessitate your shoes matching your dress. The rest of the time flats allow you to skip merrily down the street. You should try it, if you haven't already: it feels so liberating. | These are all reasons to cheer at the new trend for trainers, ballet pumps, slippers and brogues, though I doubt we've seen the back of high heels just yet. As the red carpets demonstrate, they have a magical ability to make your bum look amazing, something which is supposed to be the Number One Top Concern of all Women Everywhere, so I doubt very much that we'll stop wearing them any time soon. Perhaps, like me, women will start to view them as necessary only for special occasions that necessitate your shoes matching your dress. The rest of the time flats allow you to skip merrily down the street. You should try it, if you haven't already: it feels so liberating. |
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