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| Version 0 | Version 1 |
|---|---|
| Postman Pat is a beloved figure in Jordan | Postman Pat is a beloved figure in Jordan |
| (25 days later) | |
| Age: 32. | Age: 32. |
| Appearance: Avuncular, and increasingly three-dimensional. | Appearance: Avuncular, and increasingly three-dimensional. |
| Increasingly? Isn't he made of Plasticine? Get with the programme, grandpa. We are in the 21st century. He is made of pixels now. | Increasingly? Isn't he made of Plasticine? Get with the programme, grandpa. We are in the 21st century. He is made of pixels now. |
| But pixels are two-dimensional. Not when they are used to make the 3D Postman Pat extravaganza Postman Pat: You Know You're the One, they're not. | But pixels are two-dimensional. Not when they are used to make the 3D Postman Pat extravaganza Postman Pat: You Know You're the One, they're not. |
| A 3D Postman Pat film. Like Avatar? Exactly like Avatar … if Avatar was a film about a weirdly chinless delivery man who decides to take part in an X Factor-style reality show so that he can take his wife on a lovely holiday with the prize money. | A 3D Postman Pat film. Like Avatar? Exactly like Avatar … if Avatar was a film about a weirdly chinless delivery man who decides to take part in an X Factor-style reality show so that he can take his wife on a lovely holiday with the prize money. |
| Is that what happens in Avatar? I don't know. I fell asleep during it. | Is that what happens in Avatar? I don't know. I fell asleep during it. |
| Me too. Long, isn't it? | Me too. Long, isn't it? |
| Why are you telling me this? Because Prince Charles has just toured the Jordan animation studio where the Postman Pat film is being made. The artists even made an 8in model of Charles towering over Pat and his cat Jess to commemorate the visit. | Why are you telling me this? Because Prince Charles has just toured the Jordan animation studio where the Postman Pat film is being made. The artists even made an 8in model of Charles towering over Pat and his cat Jess to commemorate the visit. |
| I need a description. Wonky, slightly ill-proportioned, a little bit constipated-looking. Massively ill at ease. | I need a description. Wonky, slightly ill-proportioned, a little bit constipated-looking. Massively ill at ease. |
| And the model? Oh, very funny. | And the model? Oh, very funny. |
| Sorry. So why is this film being made in Jordan? Postman Pat has been shown in Jordan for decades. He is a beloved figure there. Generations of children have grown up watching his sedate adventures in the village of Greendale. | Sorry. So why is this film being made in Jordan? Postman Pat has been shown in Jordan for decades. He is a beloved figure there. Generations of children have grown up watching his sedate adventures in the village of Greendale. |
| And it is probably cheaper than making it in the UK. Well, yes. Unnecessarily three-dimensional Postman Pat talent show movies aren't a charity, you know. | And it is probably cheaper than making it in the UK. Well, yes. Unnecessarily three-dimensional Postman Pat talent show movies aren't a charity, you know. |
| Please tell me that Prince Charles said something embarrassing, at least. He asked one animator: "Have you been doing this since you were quite small? Is it hereditary?" | Please tell me that Prince Charles said something embarrassing, at least. He asked one animator: "Have you been doing this since you were quite small? Is it hereditary?" |
| That's not very embarrassing in the big scheme of things. I wish Prince Philip were in Jordan instead of Prince Charles. Me too. I wish Prince Philip was everywhere all the time. | That's not very embarrassing in the big scheme of things. I wish Prince Philip were in Jordan instead of Prince Charles. Me too. I wish Prince Philip was everywhere all the time. |
| Do say: "Postman Pat, you're through to the next round." | Do say: "Postman Pat, you're through to the next round." |
| Don't say: "I do hope that Louis Walsh gets a cameo role." | Don't say: "I do hope that Louis Walsh gets a cameo role." |
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