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Pope Francis and Amalia Damonte – a match not made in heaven Pope Francis and Amalia Damonte – a match not made in heaven
(7 months later)
In the flurry to discover all there is to know about Pope Francis, Rome's newly minted pontiff, one poignant little narrative has been unearthed: love drove him to it. And this not the divine love one might imagine, but a pubescent passion for a fellow 12-year-old back when Jorge Mario Bergoglio was but a youth. The melodiously named Amalia Damonte, from the equally mellifluous Buenos Aires suburb of Flores, recalled that her childhood suitor declared: "If I can't marry you, I'll become a priest." The rest, as they say, is history.In the flurry to discover all there is to know about Pope Francis, Rome's newly minted pontiff, one poignant little narrative has been unearthed: love drove him to it. And this not the divine love one might imagine, but a pubescent passion for a fellow 12-year-old back when Jorge Mario Bergoglio was but a youth. The melodiously named Amalia Damonte, from the equally mellifluous Buenos Aires suburb of Flores, recalled that her childhood suitor declared: "If I can't marry you, I'll become a priest." The rest, as they say, is history.
Those of us of a certain vintage will immediately start crying: "Thorn Birds!" Yet this was a romance utterly removed from the cassock-ripping of Colleen McCullough's left-footing bonkbuster. As a tale of thwarted young love it has it all: the covert exchange of letters, the obligatory parental opposition, exquisite, unrequited yearning.Those of us of a certain vintage will immediately start crying: "Thorn Birds!" Yet this was a romance utterly removed from the cassock-ripping of Colleen McCullough's left-footing bonkbuster. As a tale of thwarted young love it has it all: the covert exchange of letters, the obligatory parental opposition, exquisite, unrequited yearning.
And, oh, the barely concealed agony behind Damonte's remark that he might have been compelled to marry her to another man had he not conveniently departed his post at the church of San José de Flores a few months earlier. On, on, the beguiling Amalia propelled Francis I toward his papal throne. Meanwhile, our heroine sniffed: "In love? … I only knew love when I was much older." Cue great gnashing of teeth and rending of brocade over in Vatican City.And, oh, the barely concealed agony behind Damonte's remark that he might have been compelled to marry her to another man had he not conveniently departed his post at the church of San José de Flores a few months earlier. On, on, the beguiling Amalia propelled Francis I toward his papal throne. Meanwhile, our heroine sniffed: "In love? … I only knew love when I was much older." Cue great gnashing of teeth and rending of brocade over in Vatican City.
"I am glad it cannot happen twice, the fever of first love. For it is a fever, and a burden, too, whatever the poets may say," remarks the narrator of Daphne du Maurier's Rebecca. In fact, even those poets who created first love for the western world – Dante and Petrarch – didn't find it a breeze. The former fell for Beatrice, inspiration for his "sweet new style", aged 9; his successor was a no longer strictly juvenile 23, but emulated the same sustained infantile fascination for 17-year-old Laura."I am glad it cannot happen twice, the fever of first love. For it is a fever, and a burden, too, whatever the poets may say," remarks the narrator of Daphne du Maurier's Rebecca. In fact, even those poets who created first love for the western world – Dante and Petrarch – didn't find it a breeze. The former fell for Beatrice, inspiration for his "sweet new style", aged 9; his successor was a no longer strictly juvenile 23, but emulated the same sustained infantile fascination for 17-year-old Laura.
For both, first love was final love. As with the courtly love tradition, it must be unrequited, all-consuming, non-marital, worldly but with intimations of the divine, with the added piquancy of being artistically self-aggrandising. The love object hovers as some abstract, unfleshy being, vehicle or canvas only.For both, first love was final love. As with the courtly love tradition, it must be unrequited, all-consuming, non-marital, worldly but with intimations of the divine, with the added piquancy of being artistically self-aggrandising. The love object hovers as some abstract, unfleshy being, vehicle or canvas only.
It is not she, but the lover's revelry in oxymoronic paroxysms that is the principal concern. Witness Petrarch's famous Rima 134: "I find no peace, and yet am not at war, / I fear and hope, and burn and I am ice"; a language of love that remains as familiar to Leona Lewis in Bleeding Love, or Rihanna and Eminem with their blazing, house-incinerating amour.It is not she, but the lover's revelry in oxymoronic paroxysms that is the principal concern. Witness Petrarch's famous Rima 134: "I find no peace, and yet am not at war, / I fear and hope, and burn and I am ice"; a language of love that remains as familiar to Leona Lewis in Bleeding Love, or Rihanna and Eminem with their blazing, house-incinerating amour.
Whether one is talking Tristan and Iseult, Romeo and Juliet, or Adrian and Pandora, there is always something ridiculous about first love – something mock about the epic, comedy lurking within the tragedy. It is born of an era in which adolescent brains boast scant judgment, yet a surfeit of time to brood. Hence our rightful suspicion that those who marry their childhood sweethearts must be somehow emotionally stunted.Whether one is talking Tristan and Iseult, Romeo and Juliet, or Adrian and Pandora, there is always something ridiculous about first love – something mock about the epic, comedy lurking within the tragedy. It is born of an era in which adolescent brains boast scant judgment, yet a surfeit of time to brood. Hence our rightful suspicion that those who marry their childhood sweethearts must be somehow emotionally stunted.
The paradigmatic contemporary example comes, of course, in the Twilight saga. One does not require Fifty Shades to reveal the masochism at the fantasy's heart. Bella Swan (Bella Swan!) is just another teenage girl bruised by a run-in with an arsehole, be he a 104-year-old bloodsucker, or some loser in a band.The paradigmatic contemporary example comes, of course, in the Twilight saga. One does not require Fifty Shades to reveal the masochism at the fantasy's heart. Bella Swan (Bella Swan!) is just another teenage girl bruised by a run-in with an arsehole, be he a 104-year-old bloodsucker, or some loser in a band.
Those who choose to reignite springtime passions do so at their own risk, not least in the casual-fantasy-fulfilling age of the internet. Dr Nancy Kalish is the social scientist author of various inquiries into lost love and rekindled romances. Pre-net, she found the staying-together rate for those reuniting with teen paramours to be 78%. Post-net – in what one might refer to as Friends Reunited syndrome – the success of such unions plummeted, amounting to so many brief, extra-marital affairs.Those who choose to reignite springtime passions do so at their own risk, not least in the casual-fantasy-fulfilling age of the internet. Dr Nancy Kalish is the social scientist author of various inquiries into lost love and rekindled romances. Pre-net, she found the staying-together rate for those reuniting with teen paramours to be 78%. Post-net – in what one might refer to as Friends Reunited syndrome – the success of such unions plummeted, amounting to so many brief, extra-marital affairs.
The notable exception to the first-love-is-stupid-love axiom is the redemptive tale of Charles and Camilla. Here it was the hysterical drama of his dystopian "fairytale marriage" – in which he was someone else's catastrophically unrequited first love – that was stupid, not the youthful gut instinct. What the pair have achieved in their postlapsarian reunion is something genuinely moving compared with the vapid Sturm und Drang of adolescent infatuation.The notable exception to the first-love-is-stupid-love axiom is the redemptive tale of Charles and Camilla. Here it was the hysterical drama of his dystopian "fairytale marriage" – in which he was someone else's catastrophically unrequited first love – that was stupid, not the youthful gut instinct. What the pair have achieved in their postlapsarian reunion is something genuinely moving compared with the vapid Sturm und Drang of adolescent infatuation.
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