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Has the Esquire editor escaped from a Benny Hill sketch? Has the Esquire editor escaped from a Benny Hill sketch?
(6 months later)
Ladies, I have an important question for you. If you were a car, what kind would you be? Perhaps you'd be something nice and girly, like the 1965 special edition Playboy Mustang? Or the Compact Pussycat, as driven by Penelope Pitstop of Wacky Races fame, complete with grooming facilities? Perhaps you'd be a Chrysler's 1955 Dodge La Femme, developed specifically for us females, coming as it did with a matching handbag? Or maybe you'd opt for any old car – provided it has those special eyelashes that you stick on the headlights that make your VW Beetle look like Danny La Rue.Ladies, I have an important question for you. If you were a car, what kind would you be? Perhaps you'd be something nice and girly, like the 1965 special edition Playboy Mustang? Or the Compact Pussycat, as driven by Penelope Pitstop of Wacky Races fame, complete with grooming facilities? Perhaps you'd be a Chrysler's 1955 Dodge La Femme, developed specifically for us females, coming as it did with a matching handbag? Or maybe you'd opt for any old car – provided it has those special eyelashes that you stick on the headlights that make your VW Beetle look like Danny La Rue.
As much as all those ladycars stimulate my biologically inbuilt "oooooh pink!" reflexes, personally I'd opt for a DeLorean DMC-12, for the simple reason that it would be able to transport me to a time in the distant future where Alex Bilmes, editor of Esquire, no longer exists.As much as all those ladycars stimulate my biologically inbuilt "oooooh pink!" reflexes, personally I'd opt for a DeLorean DMC-12, for the simple reason that it would be able to transport me to a time in the distant future where Alex Bilmes, editor of Esquire, no longer exists.
According to Bilmes, Esquire uses pictures of women in his magazine "in the same way we provide pictures of cool cars". "The women that we feature in the magazine are ornamental," he said while speaking on a panel about feminism in the media and advertising. "I could lie to you and say we are interested in their brains as well. We are not. They are objectified." (I would imagine he endeared himself immeasurably to the audience in the process.)According to Bilmes, Esquire uses pictures of women in his magazine "in the same way we provide pictures of cool cars". "The women that we feature in the magazine are ornamental," he said while speaking on a panel about feminism in the media and advertising. "I could lie to you and say we are interested in their brains as well. We are not. They are objectified." (I would imagine he endeared himself immeasurably to the audience in the process.)
Lovely as Bilmes sounds, I can't help wondering whether or not he may also be in possession of a time-travelling automobile, as he is clearly stumbling around the wrong century. Isn't there a Benny Hill sketch somewhere, missing a ruddy-faced pervert? Look! That poor half-naked women has no one to chase her around the lawn any more.Lovely as Bilmes sounds, I can't help wondering whether or not he may also be in possession of a time-travelling automobile, as he is clearly stumbling around the wrong century. Isn't there a Benny Hill sketch somewhere, missing a ruddy-faced pervert? Look! That poor half-naked women has no one to chase her around the lawn any more.
I imagine some admire Bilmes's no bullshit stance. Perhaps I would too, were it not so pathetically retro. Some may recall the deconstructed male of the 1990s that he appears to be channelling, 20 years too late (albeit his "daemon" is a middle-class misogynist earning enough to shop at Hugo Boss). The editor's predecessor, Jeremy Langmead, described Esquire as being a magazine for "people who have a sex life and don't have to use a magazine for sex". Under Bilmes's tenure, this does not seem to be the case. It's tits, cars, and ties. No one even pretends to read it "for the articles".I imagine some admire Bilmes's no bullshit stance. Perhaps I would too, were it not so pathetically retro. Some may recall the deconstructed male of the 1990s that he appears to be channelling, 20 years too late (albeit his "daemon" is a middle-class misogynist earning enough to shop at Hugo Boss). The editor's predecessor, Jeremy Langmead, described Esquire as being a magazine for "people who have a sex life and don't have to use a magazine for sex". Under Bilmes's tenure, this does not seem to be the case. It's tits, cars, and ties. No one even pretends to read it "for the articles".
Now, I'm not saying that I want men to go off and think about whether or not the Esquire women they are using as wank fodder have hopes, and dreams, and opinions. That would be ridiculous. I just wish that said masturbation manuals didn't exist in the 21st century. Perhaps it's the use of the word "ornamental" that jars. It belongs in another time, a grandfather of a word uttered by beauty pageant hosts and 1950s TV hosts and yet still pertinent.Now, I'm not saying that I want men to go off and think about whether or not the Esquire women they are using as wank fodder have hopes, and dreams, and opinions. That would be ridiculous. I just wish that said masturbation manuals didn't exist in the 21st century. Perhaps it's the use of the word "ornamental" that jars. It belongs in another time, a grandfather of a word uttered by beauty pageant hosts and 1950s TV hosts and yet still pertinent.
Last year, former Loaded editor Martin Daubney wrote a piece for the Mail in which he stated that he bitterly regretted his time there, because he felt that the lads' mag had turned a generation on to porn. Since becoming a father, he said: "I started seeing the women in my magazine not as sexual objects, but as somebody's daughter." Bilmes too has a daughter, who at present is too young to be objectified. I wonder if he'll reach a similar epiphany and if, despite his claims that women's magazines are just as bad (a fair point), he'd equally want her reading Esquire.Last year, former Loaded editor Martin Daubney wrote a piece for the Mail in which he stated that he bitterly regretted his time there, because he felt that the lads' mag had turned a generation on to porn. Since becoming a father, he said: "I started seeing the women in my magazine not as sexual objects, but as somebody's daughter." Bilmes too has a daughter, who at present is too young to be objectified. I wonder if he'll reach a similar epiphany and if, despite his claims that women's magazines are just as bad (a fair point), he'd equally want her reading Esquire.
Of course, if the only way that you're able to view women as human beings is by defining them by their relationships to men ("what if that were your mother, your sister, your daughter?") then you probably need help. But at least it's preferable to the creepy amorality he is currently displaying. Bilmes is under no obligation to be interested in these women's brains, of course, but if he encouraged it a little more in his readers we wouldn't be seeing such a resurgence of the sexist "lad culture" that, if allowed to germinate unheeded, his daughter's generation will be battling for years to come.Of course, if the only way that you're able to view women as human beings is by defining them by their relationships to men ("what if that were your mother, your sister, your daughter?") then you probably need help. But at least it's preferable to the creepy amorality he is currently displaying. Bilmes is under no obligation to be interested in these women's brains, of course, but if he encouraged it a little more in his readers we wouldn't be seeing such a resurgence of the sexist "lad culture" that, if allowed to germinate unheeded, his daughter's generation will be battling for years to come.
Which is why, given the choice between being a lady and being a car, I think I'd take the car. Cars being, as they are, non-sentient (with, of course, the notable exception of the KITT), at least they never have to suffer the knowledge that they only exist to be driven.Which is why, given the choice between being a lady and being a car, I think I'd take the car. Cars being, as they are, non-sentient (with, of course, the notable exception of the KITT), at least they never have to suffer the knowledge that they only exist to be driven.
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