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Mothers who go to work are 'full-time' parents too Mothers who go to work are 'full-time' parents too
(6 months later)
There's a breed of women populating political debates around childcare called "full-time mothers". I have three dependent children, so I presumed I could be counted among them. But no. I work – so apparently I'm not entitled to call myself a full-time parent. I'm a part-time parent because I leave the house at 8am. Even the Treasury briefing supporting the budget's new childcare vouchers scheme for families where two parents work distinguished parents who "look after their children full-time" from those like me.There's a breed of women populating political debates around childcare called "full-time mothers". I have three dependent children, so I presumed I could be counted among them. But no. I work – so apparently I'm not entitled to call myself a full-time parent. I'm a part-time parent because I leave the house at 8am. Even the Treasury briefing supporting the budget's new childcare vouchers scheme for families where two parents work distinguished parents who "look after their children full-time" from those like me.
This is nonsense. There's not a moment when I'm not parenting. I'm a 24/7 mother. I don't worry about my children's welfare every now and then. I don't clock on to motherhood when I return in time for the Channel 4 News. If a non-working mother's children go on a "playdate" or attend a Bongo Bongo toddlers music club, that doesn't mean they're part-time mothers for that afternoon. They, just like me, are ultimately responsible for their children, wherever they are.This is nonsense. There's not a moment when I'm not parenting. I'm a 24/7 mother. I don't worry about my children's welfare every now and then. I don't clock on to motherhood when I return in time for the Channel 4 News. If a non-working mother's children go on a "playdate" or attend a Bongo Bongo toddlers music club, that doesn't mean they're part-time mothers for that afternoon. They, just like me, are ultimately responsible for their children, wherever they are.
My work isn't in opposition to my parenting or absconding from parental duties. It's integral to being a responsible mother. (And it's mothers this debate is about. The phrase "full-time father" has yet to be uttered.) I work so I can contribute to the bills that need to be paid to enable my children to have a reasonable standard of living. I spend a morning sitting at my desk scribbling so my daughter can go on the school trip to France.My work isn't in opposition to my parenting or absconding from parental duties. It's integral to being a responsible mother. (And it's mothers this debate is about. The phrase "full-time father" has yet to be uttered.) I work so I can contribute to the bills that need to be paid to enable my children to have a reasonable standard of living. I spend a morning sitting at my desk scribbling so my daughter can go on the school trip to France.
I'm not saying looking after children isn't hard work. It is. But lurking behind the misconception that in order to be a full-time parent you can't go out to work, lies a very old-fashioned, anti-feminist notion. We mothers just do the feelings. We concentrate on the nurturing. We gurgle at our babies, tickle their chins, take them to playgroup and ensure they develop into rounded human beings. In this division of labour, a mother has no responsibility for their children's economic wellbeing. It's their loving care she has to worry about. That's just as ridiculous as saying a father has no responsibility for their children's emotional wellbeing. You can't pick and choose which part of being a parent you want to be.I'm not saying looking after children isn't hard work. It is. But lurking behind the misconception that in order to be a full-time parent you can't go out to work, lies a very old-fashioned, anti-feminist notion. We mothers just do the feelings. We concentrate on the nurturing. We gurgle at our babies, tickle their chins, take them to playgroup and ensure they develop into rounded human beings. In this division of labour, a mother has no responsibility for their children's economic wellbeing. It's their loving care she has to worry about. That's just as ridiculous as saying a father has no responsibility for their children's emotional wellbeing. You can't pick and choose which part of being a parent you want to be.
Let's be honest, when we talk about full-time parents we mostly mean middle-class mothers with supporting partners. In current debates, the language is one of choice – women who choose not to work. These mothers are mainly women who can afford to stay at home. That's a luxury. For many women it isn't a choice at all. Some have to work not simply to send their kids on school trips, but to survive. Others can't afford to work, because their income wouldn't cover the spiralling cost of childcare. Single parents are particularly vulnerable to this childcare catch 22. But it's an odd argument that moves from supporting low-income parents who don't have choice to subsidising those who choose not to work, even though they could. And then saying that those of us who choose or have to work are somehow not full-time parents at all.Let's be honest, when we talk about full-time parents we mostly mean middle-class mothers with supporting partners. In current debates, the language is one of choice – women who choose not to work. These mothers are mainly women who can afford to stay at home. That's a luxury. For many women it isn't a choice at all. Some have to work not simply to send their kids on school trips, but to survive. Others can't afford to work, because their income wouldn't cover the spiralling cost of childcare. Single parents are particularly vulnerable to this childcare catch 22. But it's an odd argument that moves from supporting low-income parents who don't have choice to subsidising those who choose not to work, even though they could. And then saying that those of us who choose or have to work are somehow not full-time parents at all.
I'm not a part-time parent. I look after and raise my three children. I'm a full-time parent who happens to work full-time.I'm not a part-time parent. I look after and raise my three children. I'm a full-time parent who happens to work full-time.
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