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My top five prison tips for Chris Huhne | My top five prison tips for Chris Huhne |
(6 months later) | |
Do not be surprised that Chris Huhne, the former energy secretary, jailed last month for perverting the course of justice, has told former cabinet minister Jonathan Aitken he finds imprisonment "fascinating". | Do not be surprised that Chris Huhne, the former energy secretary, jailed last month for perverting the course of justice, has told former cabinet minister Jonathan Aitken he finds imprisonment "fascinating". |
As a former journalist, Huhne ought to be a student of human nature, in which case he will be finding prison a fertile ground for study. To use the now defunct News of the World's motto, "all human life is there". | As a former journalist, Huhne ought to be a student of human nature, in which case he will be finding prison a fertile ground for study. To use the now defunct News of the World's motto, "all human life is there". |
As well as writing to Huhne, Aitken has sent him a book of psalms to help him through his penal journey. Aitken, of course, is himself an ex-con, jailed in 1999, also for perverting the course of justice. (As was Jeffrey Archer. It seems the crime of choice for politicos.) This ex-old lag can also offer a few, perhaps more practical, tips to Huhne. | As well as writing to Huhne, Aitken has sent him a book of psalms to help him through his penal journey. Aitken, of course, is himself an ex-con, jailed in 1999, also for perverting the course of justice. (As was Jeffrey Archer. It seems the crime of choice for politicos.) This ex-old lag can also offer a few, perhaps more practical, tips to Huhne. |
1. If he hasn't already done so, he should find himself a "minder". Not for protection from physical attack – that was never likely. He needs someone more like a "Fletcher", of Porridge fame; an old sweat who has run the course and distance a few times and can point Huhne in the right direction. | 1. If he hasn't already done so, he should find himself a "minder". Not for protection from physical attack – that was never likely. He needs someone more like a "Fletcher", of Porridge fame; an old sweat who has run the course and distance a few times and can point Huhne in the right direction. |
2. He should remember to show humility. Prisons are full of massive egos and there are no shortage of cons wanting to take them down a peg or two. Politicians are an opinionated lot, used to making themselves heard. Huhne should try to keep his views to himself and listen and learn. | 2. He should remember to show humility. Prisons are full of massive egos and there are no shortage of cons wanting to take them down a peg or two. Politicians are an opinionated lot, used to making themselves heard. Huhne should try to keep his views to himself and listen and learn. |
3. He should not be afraid to join in some of the "scams" that are part and parcel of prison life. Jails are run on rules, most of them pointless, and successful breaches add lustre to what are usually long, dull days. I am not suggesting he takes any of the drugs or alcohol, which will certainly be on offer at Leyhill, the open nick where he has landed. But participation in minor infringements will be appreciated by his fellow travellers and make him feel like one of the boys. | 3. He should not be afraid to join in some of the "scams" that are part and parcel of prison life. Jails are run on rules, most of them pointless, and successful breaches add lustre to what are usually long, dull days. I am not suggesting he takes any of the drugs or alcohol, which will certainly be on offer at Leyhill, the open nick where he has landed. But participation in minor infringements will be appreciated by his fellow travellers and make him feel like one of the boys. |
4. As a literate man, Huhne will almost certainly find himself in demand as a letter-writer/form filler-in. A large percentage of prisoners have a reading and writing level below that of a child of 10. Much of my time in jail was spent helping such people and it stood me in good stead. Perhaps Huhne could become a mentor on the reading programme, run by the Shannon Trust, which has taught thousands of prisoners to read and write? | 4. As a literate man, Huhne will almost certainly find himself in demand as a letter-writer/form filler-in. A large percentage of prisoners have a reading and writing level below that of a child of 10. Much of my time in jail was spent helping such people and it stood me in good stead. Perhaps Huhne could become a mentor on the reading programme, run by the Shannon Trust, which has taught thousands of prisoners to read and write? |
5. Last, but not least, Huhne will observe serious breaches of prison rules – and indeed criminal laws – on a daily basis. He should hear all, see all and say nowt. The number one rule for a successful stay in prison is thou shalt not grass. | 5. Last, but not least, Huhne will observe serious breaches of prison rules – and indeed criminal laws – on a daily basis. He should hear all, see all and say nowt. The number one rule for a successful stay in prison is thou shalt not grass. |
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