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Margaret Thatcher's funeral: in search of the 'totty' Margaret Thatcher's funeral: in search of the 'totty'
(6 months later)
Those monitoring Margaret Thatcher's funeral on social media this morning will have seen spectators engaged in varied and diverse ways of amusing themselves, from drinking games (do a shot every time you spot a war criminal) to questioning whether David Cameron's biblical reading of "in my father's house are many mansions" was deliberately engineered (surely now is no time to be boasting, David?) But drowning out the dissent even more effectively than the lacklustre clapping on the Strand this morning were the sounds of newsroom gentlemen salivating over the image of Thatcher's 19-year-old granddaughter Amanda, close-ups of whom made it on to the Daily Mail's website at breakneck speed.Those monitoring Margaret Thatcher's funeral on social media this morning will have seen spectators engaged in varied and diverse ways of amusing themselves, from drinking games (do a shot every time you spot a war criminal) to questioning whether David Cameron's biblical reading of "in my father's house are many mansions" was deliberately engineered (surely now is no time to be boasting, David?) But drowning out the dissent even more effectively than the lacklustre clapping on the Strand this morning were the sounds of newsroom gentlemen salivating over the image of Thatcher's 19-year-old granddaughter Amanda, close-ups of whom made it on to the Daily Mail's website at breakneck speed.
As political commentator Gaby Hinsliff rightly pointed out, viewers and journalists alike clearly felt that this funeral was in desperate need of a "Pippa factor", if only to break up the tedium of what was, let's face it, a televised church service with a congregation containing a few famous faces, including a scarily ageless John Major. In other words, people were as bored as you'd expect a nation of fly-by-night lapsed Anglicans to be, so it's no wonder that they were looking around for a perv factor. It briefly looked as though a lachrymose George Osborne, who although he only met the Iron Lady once was clearly feeling a little wobbly, might upstage Amanda as the guest of choice, but as no one seemed willing to objectify him, interest waned as rapidly as Sam Cam's smirk did at the moment she realised there was a camera pointing at her.As political commentator Gaby Hinsliff rightly pointed out, viewers and journalists alike clearly felt that this funeral was in desperate need of a "Pippa factor", if only to break up the tedium of what was, let's face it, a televised church service with a congregation containing a few famous faces, including a scarily ageless John Major. In other words, people were as bored as you'd expect a nation of fly-by-night lapsed Anglicans to be, so it's no wonder that they were looking around for a perv factor. It briefly looked as though a lachrymose George Osborne, who although he only met the Iron Lady once was clearly feeling a little wobbly, might upstage Amanda as the guest of choice, but as no one seemed willing to objectify him, interest waned as rapidly as Sam Cam's smirk did at the moment she realised there was a camera pointing at her.
But can we attribute this congregational scrutiny merely to boredom? Admittedly, many of us have no doubt been guilty of the odd look-around at weddings and funerals – if only to make sure that we're crying as much as everyone else. But this is about more than competitive emoting – we're talking about hacks in need of an angle, and, as the royal wedding proved, in the absence of a bomb or a protest, only a peachy female arse will do.But can we attribute this congregational scrutiny merely to boredom? Admittedly, many of us have no doubt been guilty of the odd look-around at weddings and funerals – if only to make sure that we're crying as much as everyone else. But this is about more than competitive emoting – we're talking about hacks in need of an angle, and, as the royal wedding proved, in the absence of a bomb or a protest, only a peachy female arse will do.
The jury's out as to whether "granddaughter in mourning" is a state of mind more conducive to seduction than "younger sister at wedding", but if the lecherous tweets are anything to go by, Amanda Thatcher, who it is claimed bears a passing resemblance to Renée Zellweger (and has an accent to match), fits the voyeuristic role of "top ceremonial totty" perfectly. Unless, of course, she high tails it back to America and obscurity and remains there, at a safe distance not only from the red tops but for any tips that fountain of knowledge Pippa may have to impart (today's attendees clearly heeded her advice to wear black and look sad). Let's hope, for all our sakes, that she escapes before the sidebar of shame gets itself another box and Waitrose starts looking for another columnist.The jury's out as to whether "granddaughter in mourning" is a state of mind more conducive to seduction than "younger sister at wedding", but if the lecherous tweets are anything to go by, Amanda Thatcher, who it is claimed bears a passing resemblance to Renée Zellweger (and has an accent to match), fits the voyeuristic role of "top ceremonial totty" perfectly. Unless, of course, she high tails it back to America and obscurity and remains there, at a safe distance not only from the red tops but for any tips that fountain of knowledge Pippa may have to impart (today's attendees clearly heeded her advice to wear black and look sad). Let's hope, for all our sakes, that she escapes before the sidebar of shame gets itself another box and Waitrose starts looking for another columnist.
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