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| My penpal Amanda Knox and me | My penpal Amanda Knox and me |
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| I first wrote to Amanda Knox after interviewing her mother, Edda Mellas, in September 2009. At the time, Knox had been in custody in Italy for almost two years, accused of murdering the Leeds University student Meredith Kercher. | I first wrote to Amanda Knox after interviewing her mother, Edda Mellas, in September 2009. At the time, Knox had been in custody in Italy for almost two years, accused of murdering the Leeds University student Meredith Kercher. |
| I sent her a copy of my interview and Knox wrote to thank me, saying she could hear her mother's voice in the piece. She said she liked Guardian Weekend, particularly its fashion and recipes. She commented on a piece about internet dating, worried that predators could take advantage of the vulnerable. | I sent her a copy of my interview and Knox wrote to thank me, saying she could hear her mother's voice in the piece. She said she liked Guardian Weekend, particularly its fashion and recipes. She commented on a piece about internet dating, worried that predators could take advantage of the vulnerable. |
| Knox said she felt strange writing to a journalist. She once had ambitions about becoming one herself, but had lost faith in the media because of how she had been treated after her arrest. This was the time when the press caricature of "Foxy Knoxy" was at its height and most reporting had more than a hint of misogyny about it. | Knox said she felt strange writing to a journalist. She once had ambitions about becoming one herself, but had lost faith in the media because of how she had been treated after her arrest. This was the time when the press caricature of "Foxy Knoxy" was at its height and most reporting had more than a hint of misogyny about it. |
| There was something childlike and naive about Knox's letter – the bubble writing, the way she drew the outline of her hands on the paper and said she felt her life was in the hands of others, quoting the Beatles songs Let It Be and Here Comes The Sun. She finished the letter with a quote Io lo so che non sono sola anche quando sono sola – I know I am not alone even when I am alone. | |
| After that, I sent her regular copies of the magazine. She would reply, commenting on articles, telling me what she was up to. | After that, I sent her regular copies of the magazine. She would reply, commenting on articles, telling me what she was up to. |
| Just after her conviction she told me how much she adored her defence team, and how at times she felt profound joy and peace. I think she was talking herself into it – at times, you could almost smell her fear in the letters. Shortly before her appeal, she said she dreamed of the courtroom and felt that she had died inside. She worried that she might be a zombie when she was finally released, nothing more than a husk. | Just after her conviction she told me how much she adored her defence team, and how at times she felt profound joy and peace. I think she was talking herself into it – at times, you could almost smell her fear in the letters. Shortly before her appeal, she said she dreamed of the courtroom and felt that she had died inside. She worried that she might be a zombie when she was finally released, nothing more than a husk. |
| It was unusual for her to be so downhearted. In the next letter she apologised for sounding so miserable and said her natural state was optimism. She was normally calm and upbeat, she said. | It was unusual for her to be so downhearted. In the next letter she apologised for sounding so miserable and said her natural state was optimism. She was normally calm and upbeat, she said. |
| She liked to chat about what my children were up to, if we were planning any holidays, and muse about what she might be doing if she were free. One day she told me she had just read Jack Kerouac's On The Road and it had put her in the mood for a road trip. She had always wanted to hike the Pacific Crest Trail from the top of Washington to the end of California. | She liked to chat about what my children were up to, if we were planning any holidays, and muse about what she might be doing if she were free. One day she told me she had just read Jack Kerouac's On The Road and it had put her in the mood for a road trip. She had always wanted to hike the Pacific Crest Trail from the top of Washington to the end of California. |
| Over time her letters became more elaborate with fancy twirly handwriting, and a symbol of freedom attached – a bird, a butterfly or flower. She rarely talked about the crime she was convicted of, preferring to focus on the mosquitos in prison, her hippy singing class, playing guitar in church, visits from her grandmother who looked ever more frail, the death of the family dog, volleyball with the girls, studying in the afternoon, her nice cellmate. | Over time her letters became more elaborate with fancy twirly handwriting, and a symbol of freedom attached – a bird, a butterfly or flower. She rarely talked about the crime she was convicted of, preferring to focus on the mosquitos in prison, her hippy singing class, playing guitar in church, visits from her grandmother who looked ever more frail, the death of the family dog, volleyball with the girls, studying in the afternoon, her nice cellmate. |
| One of her most positive moments was when her friend Madison came to live in Perugia to keep her company. The act of friendship and sacrifice seemed to give Knox renewed hope and purpose. | One of her most positive moments was when her friend Madison came to live in Perugia to keep her company. The act of friendship and sacrifice seemed to give Knox renewed hope and purpose. |
| In March 2010 it was reported that Rudy Guede, the man who had been convicted in October 2008 of murdering Kercher, had confessed to a cellmate that he had been the sole killer. I asked Knox if this gave her hope. No, she said, she did not want to be acquitted on hearsay evidence, or because she had a dodgy prosecutor – she wanted to be acquitted because she was innocent. | In March 2010 it was reported that Rudy Guede, the man who had been convicted in October 2008 of murdering Kercher, had confessed to a cellmate that he had been the sole killer. I asked Knox if this gave her hope. No, she said, she did not want to be acquitted on hearsay evidence, or because she had a dodgy prosecutor – she wanted to be acquitted because she was innocent. |
| Knox was released in October 2011. We are no longer pen pals, but we are email pals. She seems to have had a good year studying and writing her book, but she was devastated to hear that she might face a retrial. In her last email she said she had started self-defence classes to try to overcome her deer-in-headlights instinct when confronted by frightening situations. | Knox was released in October 2011. We are no longer pen pals, but we are email pals. She seems to have had a good year studying and writing her book, but she was devastated to hear that she might face a retrial. In her last email she said she had started self-defence classes to try to overcome her deer-in-headlights instinct when confronted by frightening situations. |
| She often asks what I am up to. Last week I told her I had visited a colliery in Easington, County Durham, where former miners were celebrating the death of Lady Thatcher who had wreaked havoc on their industry. She replied saying she had heard about the former prime minister and knew that she had been a controversial figure, but she could never understand how anybody could celebrate the death of another human being. | She often asks what I am up to. Last week I told her I had visited a colliery in Easington, County Durham, where former miners were celebrating the death of Lady Thatcher who had wreaked havoc on their industry. She replied saying she had heard about the former prime minister and knew that she had been a controversial figure, but she could never understand how anybody could celebrate the death of another human being. |
| • This article was amended on 29 April 2013 to correct a quote. The original said: "She finished the letter with a quote Io lo so che non sono sola anche quando suona sola". This has been corrected to say: "Io lo so che non sono sola anche quando sono sola". | |
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