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Why would the father of Tory MP Priti Patel want to stand for Ukip? | Why would the father of Tory MP Priti Patel want to stand for Ukip? |
(5 months later) | |
Name: Sushil Patel. | Name: Sushil Patel. |
Age: 64. | Age: 64. |
Appearance: Vaguely familiar. | Appearance: Vaguely familiar. |
He is, isn't he? Where have I seen him before? Nowhere, unless you're one of his neighbours in Hertfordshire. But his daughter looks quite like him. | He is, isn't he? Where have I seen him before? Nowhere, unless you're one of his neighbours in Hertfordshire. But his daughter looks quite like him. |
And would I have seen her? Quite possibly. She is Priti Patel, Conservative MP for Witham. | And would I have seen her? Quite possibly. She is Priti Patel, Conservative MP for Witham. |
That's it! So, why is he in the news? Has he given a heartfelt speech expressing his immense pride in his daughter and supporting her party in Thursday's local elections? Not exactly. He has announced that he is standing as a candidate. | That's it! So, why is he in the news? Has he given a heartfelt speech expressing his immense pride in his daughter and supporting her party in Thursday's local elections? Not exactly. He has announced that he is standing as a candidate. |
Well, that's support of a kind, isn't it? Except that he is not standing for the Tories. He is standing for Ukip. | Well, that's support of a kind, isn't it? Except that he is not standing for the Tories. He is standing for Ukip. |
I'm sorry. I thought for a moment you said Ukip. I did. | I'm sorry. I thought for a moment you said Ukip. I did. |
How … unexpected. You mean because of the suddenness and short notice of the announcement? | How … unexpected. You mean because of the suddenness and short notice of the announcement? |
Yes. Partly. And because of the hostilities between the Conservatives and Ukip, since the latter seems to be successfully wooing potential voters from the former? | Yes. Partly. And because of the hostilities between the Conservatives and Ukip, since the latter seems to be successfully wooing potential voters from the former? |
Yes. I am very much enjoying watching the Conservatives panic at the possible loss of votes they apparently consider a virtual birthright. It is fun, isn't it, how none of them saw it coming? | Yes. I am very much enjoying watching the Conservatives panic at the possible loss of votes they apparently consider a virtual birthright. It is fun, isn't it, how none of them saw it coming? |
I know. Who would have thought that after three years of watching their leader distance himself from them, an entire demographic might eventually turn round and say: "You don't want us, you're not giving us what we want – we don't want you." As great mysteries go, 'tis neither great nor mysterious. | I know. Who would have thought that after three years of watching their leader distance himself from them, an entire demographic might eventually turn round and say: "You don't want us, you're not giving us what we want – we don't want you." As great mysteries go, 'tis neither great nor mysterious. |
So, Mr P is going to stand for Ukip? At the time of going to press, yes. He reportedly withdrew his candidacy, after a phone call from an unknown source, blaming recent surgery. But then 90 minutes later Ukip confirmed that he was standing. | So, Mr P is going to stand for Ukip? At the time of going to press, yes. He reportedly withdrew his candidacy, after a phone call from an unknown source, blaming recent surgery. But then 90 minutes later Ukip confirmed that he was standing. |
Either way, I would pay to be a fly on the wall at the Patels' next family dinner, that's for sure. | Either way, I would pay to be a fly on the wall at the Patels' next family dinner, that's for sure. |
Do say: As Priti Patel did: "He is still my dad and I still love him. Nothing will change that, not even Ukip." | Do say: As Priti Patel did: "He is still my dad and I still love him. Nothing will change that, not even Ukip." |
Don't say: "Da-aaad, shuddup, you are embarrassing meeeee!" | Don't say: "Da-aaad, shuddup, you are embarrassing meeeee!" |
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