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Banning e-cigarettes is no bad thing – they're too uncool for school Banning e-cigarettes is no bad thing – they're too uncool for school
(5 months later)
"Rebel rebel, you've torn your dress," observed David Bowie in 1974, setting the bar rather low for aspiring nonconformists. Under the jurisdiction of the Thin White Duke, anyone old enough to snag their Sunday best while shinning up a tree could be declared a rebel, although for many of us the whim to sin came hand in hand with puberty. Becoming a teenager carried with it an unspoken order to pass on school, collect 20 Marlboro Lights, and proceed to the playing field to master the art of inhaling without coughing up a lung and being tarnished with the original sin of being uncool."Rebel rebel, you've torn your dress," observed David Bowie in 1974, setting the bar rather low for aspiring nonconformists. Under the jurisdiction of the Thin White Duke, anyone old enough to snag their Sunday best while shinning up a tree could be declared a rebel, although for many of us the whim to sin came hand in hand with puberty. Becoming a teenager carried with it an unspoken order to pass on school, collect 20 Marlboro Lights, and proceed to the playing field to master the art of inhaling without coughing up a lung and being tarnished with the original sin of being uncool.
Of course, this rite of passage often resulted in being hoiked to the deputy head's office for much mea culpa-ing in response to the empty threat of a letter home, but that was all part of it. You were successfully fighting the system, one badly smoked fag at a time. It may come as a disappointment to teens everywhere, then, that the electronic cigarette is gradually being banned in secondary schools, although primary school kids, it would seem, may puff on in all their faux-fag glory. You'll have seen e-cigs being smoked inside before, especially at darkened gigs, where they light up eerily like glowsticks, their uncoolness acting as a handy warning signal that an idiot is nearby. Could it be that teenagers are actually becoming less rebellious? I certainly would never have been caught dead with an e-cig.Of course, this rite of passage often resulted in being hoiked to the deputy head's office for much mea culpa-ing in response to the empty threat of a letter home, but that was all part of it. You were successfully fighting the system, one badly smoked fag at a time. It may come as a disappointment to teens everywhere, then, that the electronic cigarette is gradually being banned in secondary schools, although primary school kids, it would seem, may puff on in all their faux-fag glory. You'll have seen e-cigs being smoked inside before, especially at darkened gigs, where they light up eerily like glowsticks, their uncoolness acting as a handy warning signal that an idiot is nearby. Could it be that teenagers are actually becoming less rebellious? I certainly would never have been caught dead with an e-cig.
Head teachers are calling the liquid-nicotine vaporisers a "gateway drug", but if the youth of today are depending on toy cigarettes to get their rebellion fix, the kids are not all right. Rebelling by dabbling in drink, fags, sex – the list goes on – is part of growing up. Based on the people I used to drink Cointreau with in the school dinner queue (when raiding your parents' drinks cabinet, always go for the least-touched spirit) we all turned out all right, and without any crippling addictions. In fact, our daily diet of pre-Jamie Oliver chips and gravy probably did us more damage than the hesitant sips of booze concealed in Sprite bottles.Head teachers are calling the liquid-nicotine vaporisers a "gateway drug", but if the youth of today are depending on toy cigarettes to get their rebellion fix, the kids are not all right. Rebelling by dabbling in drink, fags, sex – the list goes on – is part of growing up. Based on the people I used to drink Cointreau with in the school dinner queue (when raiding your parents' drinks cabinet, always go for the least-touched spirit) we all turned out all right, and without any crippling addictions. In fact, our daily diet of pre-Jamie Oliver chips and gravy probably did us more damage than the hesitant sips of booze concealed in Sprite bottles.
I'm not advocating that parents start offering around after-dinner cigars or begin brandishing condoms at their offspring when they bring someone of the opposite sex round for an awkward evening of watching TV from opposite ends of the sofa (though subtly placing them in the bathroom cabinet is fine). The whole point of the average rebellion is that it isn't policed by parents, and although the Facebook generation could end up being haunted by images of their first dalliances with weed well into their 50s, at the time the sweet nectar of rebellion tastes so good because your superiors are, for the most part, completely oblivious.I'm not advocating that parents start offering around after-dinner cigars or begin brandishing condoms at their offspring when they bring someone of the opposite sex round for an awkward evening of watching TV from opposite ends of the sofa (though subtly placing them in the bathroom cabinet is fine). The whole point of the average rebellion is that it isn't policed by parents, and although the Facebook generation could end up being haunted by images of their first dalliances with weed well into their 50s, at the time the sweet nectar of rebellion tastes so good because your superiors are, for the most part, completely oblivious.
Of course, there will be the thrill of occasional detentions and the embarrassment of realising that your parents are fully aware that your stomach bug is, in fact, a hangover, but the sneaking and hiding and longing are all part of the rebellion itself. As a teenager I smoked (badly, occasionally; I don't any more) I drank (often, because there wasn't much else to do in my snoozefest of a Midlands village) and did a lot of other naughty things that caused me a lot of grief in the short term and nothing but amusing memories in the long term. I regret nothing, because at the time it was all stuff I needed to do to get it out of my system.Of course, there will be the thrill of occasional detentions and the embarrassment of realising that your parents are fully aware that your stomach bug is, in fact, a hangover, but the sneaking and hiding and longing are all part of the rebellion itself. As a teenager I smoked (badly, occasionally; I don't any more) I drank (often, because there wasn't much else to do in my snoozefest of a Midlands village) and did a lot of other naughty things that caused me a lot of grief in the short term and nothing but amusing memories in the long term. I regret nothing, because at the time it was all stuff I needed to do to get it out of my system.
Addictions are not something to trivialise, but the majority of bright young things will emerge from the chrysalis of their teenage years a whole lot wiser, smarter and freer than they were before, with no desire to revisit the era of experimentation. And those who aren't able to trip the light fantastic thanks to a fake ID, sample booze purchased by someone's older brother or sneak out the house after dark will have to do all this in their 20s and, believe me, coughing up a lung after one toke of your boss's cigarette is not a good look at the office Christmas party.Addictions are not something to trivialise, but the majority of bright young things will emerge from the chrysalis of their teenage years a whole lot wiser, smarter and freer than they were before, with no desire to revisit the era of experimentation. And those who aren't able to trip the light fantastic thanks to a fake ID, sample booze purchased by someone's older brother or sneak out the house after dark will have to do all this in their 20s and, believe me, coughing up a lung after one toke of your boss's cigarette is not a good look at the office Christmas party.
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