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| Version 0 | Version 1 |
|---|---|
| The rules | The rules |
| (3 months later) | |
| Middle-aged men fighting wars | Middle-aged men fighting wars |
| At a certain time of life, a man can be afflicted by debilitating nostalgia for youthful energy. Ambition remains while potency wanes. The usual response to this crisis is a surge in impetuous behaviour, a thrill-seeking mission to relive more vigorous days. For political leaders, a trusted device for livening up midlife is launching a military intervention. | At a certain time of life, a man can be afflicted by debilitating nostalgia for youthful energy. Ambition remains while potency wanes. The usual response to this crisis is a surge in impetuous behaviour, a thrill-seeking mission to relive more vigorous days. For political leaders, a trusted device for livening up midlife is launching a military intervention. |
| When it comes to choosing a location for ill-judged meddling, recent fashion has been towards the Middle East. The ideal country has intersecting ethnic and religious enmities tenuously contained in brittle balance by stale dictatorship. It is customary when planning an intervention to ignore those complexities. Opposition to an intervention should be dismissed as appeasement. (The opinions of regional experts can be shouted down with repeated references to 1930s European history.) | When it comes to choosing a location for ill-judged meddling, recent fashion has been towards the Middle East. The ideal country has intersecting ethnic and religious enmities tenuously contained in brittle balance by stale dictatorship. It is customary when planning an intervention to ignore those complexities. Opposition to an intervention should be dismissed as appeasement. (The opinions of regional experts can be shouted down with repeated references to 1930s European history.) |
| Do not be put off by the dilemma of whether to back the dictator or the rebels. Given enough time, it is sometimes possible to do both. Rebel commanders can be built up into new dictators. To pick sides in a civil war, observe whom the Russians are supporting and jump the other way. This is not so much a case of making a friend of your enemy's enemy as helping your enemy's friend's enemy. Problems may arise when your enemy's friend's enemy has friends who are even more your enemy than your original enemy. In this case, you want to avoid a situation where the weapons you send to your enemy's friend's enemy fall into the hands of your other enemy. You can do this by channelling weapons through a third party who, while not exactly your friend, is less your enemy than your original enemy and even more of an enemy of your enemy's friends' enemies' dodgy friends than you are. None of these people should be engaged in peace talks until after at least a decade of futile bloodshed. | Do not be put off by the dilemma of whether to back the dictator or the rebels. Given enough time, it is sometimes possible to do both. Rebel commanders can be built up into new dictators. To pick sides in a civil war, observe whom the Russians are supporting and jump the other way. This is not so much a case of making a friend of your enemy's enemy as helping your enemy's friend's enemy. Problems may arise when your enemy's friend's enemy has friends who are even more your enemy than your original enemy. In this case, you want to avoid a situation where the weapons you send to your enemy's friend's enemy fall into the hands of your other enemy. You can do this by channelling weapons through a third party who, while not exactly your friend, is less your enemy than your original enemy and even more of an enemy of your enemy's friends' enemies' dodgy friends than you are. None of these people should be engaged in peace talks until after at least a decade of futile bloodshed. |
| Neckwear appropriate to the occasion | Neckwear appropriate to the occasion |
| President Obama's memory lapse was not the only faux pas at summit. The assembled G8 leaders appeared in the traditional "team photograph" without ties. This was inappropriate given the fragile state of the global economy. Smart casual was the look for the pre-crisis era that officially ended in 2007. When sustainable growth is restored, prime ministers and presidents can lounge around in flipflops. Until then, a tie is required. | President Obama's memory lapse was not the only faux pas at summit. The assembled G8 leaders appeared in the traditional "team photograph" without ties. This was inappropriate given the fragile state of the global economy. Smart casual was the look for the pre-crisis era that officially ended in 2007. When sustainable growth is restored, prime ministers and presidents can lounge around in flipflops. Until then, a tie is required. |
| It is acceptable to remove the tie during negotiations to signal that formality is being jettisoned in determination to get a deal. The stage after removing a tie is taking off the jacket; then rolling up sleeves. It is important to follow these steps in order. Rolling up sleeves while still wearing a jacket is more suitable to an 80s theme party than global trade talks. | It is acceptable to remove the tie during negotiations to signal that formality is being jettisoned in determination to get a deal. The stage after removing a tie is taking off the jacket; then rolling up sleeves. It is important to follow these steps in order. Rolling up sleeves while still wearing a jacket is more suitable to an 80s theme party than global trade talks. |
| Remembering people's names | Remembering people's names |
| For the busy commander-in-chief of a global superpower, recalling the name of a passing political acquaintance, a British finance minister, for example, can be challenging. Is it Jim? Jerry? Gary? Gideon? Barack Obama can be forgiven for referring to the chancellor of the exchequer as "Jeff Osborne" three times at last week's G8 summit. Only the first time counts as a fault, then it was Osborne's responsibility to offer a correction: "Actually, Barack, it's George …" Perhaps he didn't want to embarrass the president, in which case the correct thing to do is adopt the new name as a gesture of diplomatic goodwill. (The prime minister might also consider changing his name to something more American-sounding. Dick Cameron, perhaps.) | For the busy commander-in-chief of a global superpower, recalling the name of a passing political acquaintance, a British finance minister, for example, can be challenging. Is it Jim? Jerry? Gary? Gideon? Barack Obama can be forgiven for referring to the chancellor of the exchequer as "Jeff Osborne" three times at last week's G8 summit. Only the first time counts as a fault, then it was Osborne's responsibility to offer a correction: "Actually, Barack, it's George …" Perhaps he didn't want to embarrass the president, in which case the correct thing to do is adopt the new name as a gesture of diplomatic goodwill. (The prime minister might also consider changing his name to something more American-sounding. Dick Cameron, perhaps.) |
| Attitudes to genetic modification | Attitudes to genetic modification |
| GM is officially no longer a conspiracy by secretive corporations to tamper with the natural order of the universe and turn household vegetables into flesh-eating cyborgs. It has been reclassified as an agricultural revolution to save mankind from starvation. | GM is officially no longer a conspiracy by secretive corporations to tamper with the natural order of the universe and turn household vegetables into flesh-eating cyborgs. It has been reclassified as an agricultural revolution to save mankind from starvation. |
| Swearing oaths | Swearing oaths |
| The Guides are considering modernising their oath of allegiance, dropping references to God and the Queen. In accordance, the practice of crossing your heart has been relaxed to allow any geometric shape passed over any vital organ; hoping to die is optional. | The Guides are considering modernising their oath of allegiance, dropping references to God and the Queen. In accordance, the practice of crossing your heart has been relaxed to allow any geometric shape passed over any vital organ; hoping to die is optional. |
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