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Ed Miliband gets a sprinkling of the Blair stardust Ed Miliband gets a sprinkling of the Blair stardust
(2 months later)
Another day, another epoch-changing speech from Ed Miliband. But this one was different. The Labour leader has, amazingly, morphed into Tony Blair. He is channelling Blair. He has become a clone, an avatar. He even has the Blair teeth, like the display shelf in an undertaker's showroom. He doesn't just open his mouth; he displays his gnashers for us all to admire, and what a tribute to Colgate MaxWhite toothpaste they are. Then there is the smile, meant to be charming and winsome, in fact rather alarming. Just like Blair's.Another day, another epoch-changing speech from Ed Miliband. But this one was different. The Labour leader has, amazingly, morphed into Tony Blair. He is channelling Blair. He has become a clone, an avatar. He even has the Blair teeth, like the display shelf in an undertaker's showroom. He doesn't just open his mouth; he displays his gnashers for us all to admire, and what a tribute to Colgate MaxWhite toothpaste they are. Then there is the smile, meant to be charming and winsome, in fact rather alarming. Just like Blair's.
It is little wonder that Ed would like to be Blair, and no surprise that he quoted the former leader approvingly three times. There was a time when Tony Blair was roughly as popular in the Labour party as Margaret Thatcher, or Simon Cowell (sorry, that's not just the Labour party; it's everyone.)It is little wonder that Ed would like to be Blair, and no surprise that he quoted the former leader approvingly three times. There was a time when Tony Blair was roughly as popular in the Labour party as Margaret Thatcher, or Simon Cowell (sorry, that's not just the Labour party; it's everyone.)
But no longer is he a figure of hatred, his name greeted with hissing, as it was at a recent Labour conference. And the opposition leader can do the maths:But no longer is he a figure of hatred, his name greeted with hissing, as it was at a recent Labour conference. And the opposition leader can do the maths:
Jim Callaghan, elections won: 0Jim Callaghan, elections won: 0
Michael Foot: 0Michael Foot: 0
Neil Kinnock: 0Neil Kinnock: 0
Gordon Brown: 0Gordon Brown: 0
Tony Blair: 3 landslides.Tony Blair: 3 landslides.
Miliband wants some of that stardust!Miliband wants some of that stardust!
Of course the most important similarity was the way that, like Blair, he announced a profound change in the way the Labour party works. Blair himself used to do this in code, until he realised it confused people and he went in for what Alastair Campbell used to call "a self-spinning speech" which, like a self-basting turkey, was convenient but not perhaps as satisfying as it sounds.Of course the most important similarity was the way that, like Blair, he announced a profound change in the way the Labour party works. Blair himself used to do this in code, until he realised it confused people and he went in for what Alastair Campbell used to call "a self-spinning speech" which, like a self-basting turkey, was convenient but not perhaps as satisfying as it sounds.
But the real giveaway, the clue none of us could miss, was his use of verb-free sentences in the London speech. Blair loved those. "Our pensioners – happy and secure. Our children – the best educated in the world." These were the vaguest of vague aspirations. They sounded wonderful but they never amounted to a promise, or even a real aspiration.But the real giveaway, the clue none of us could miss, was his use of verb-free sentences in the London speech. Blair loved those. "Our pensioners – happy and secure. Our children – the best educated in the world." These were the vaguest of vague aspirations. They sounded wonderful but they never amounted to a promise, or even a real aspiration.
Miliband had 27 verb-free sentences in the text of his speech though, to be fair, he went to a proper school (Haverstock comprehensive) and so he slipped in the odd extra verb. But the principle was the same: "A politics which is truly rooted in every community … A politics where they can!" (What does that mean? My mind strayed: "and a Women's Institute where they can this summer's glut of soft fruit.")Miliband had 27 verb-free sentences in the text of his speech though, to be fair, he went to a proper school (Haverstock comprehensive) and so he slipped in the odd extra verb. But the principle was the same: "A politics which is truly rooted in every community … A politics where they can!" (What does that mean? My mind strayed: "and a Women's Institute where they can this summer's glut of soft fruit.")
"A better politics for Britain … genuinely rooting for us in the life of more of the people of our country … to genuinely build a movement again.""A better politics for Britain … genuinely rooting for us in the life of more of the people of our country … to genuinely build a movement again."
What does it all mean? What is "a better politics"? It sounds like a Which? best buy. "Our voters rated this politics at 82%."What does it all mean? What is "a better politics"? It sounds like a Which? best buy. "Our voters rated this politics at 82%."
There is a big difference. Blair used to keep smiling. Ed has the curious habit of randomly looking over the heads of his audience as if he has seen something unimaginably dreadful at the back of the room: Satan himself, or even Len McCluskey. Still, it was a brave speech. He assailed the very people, the union bosses, who got him elected.There is a big difference. Blair used to keep smiling. Ed has the curious habit of randomly looking over the heads of his audience as if he has seen something unimaginably dreadful at the back of the room: Satan himself, or even Len McCluskey. Still, it was a brave speech. He assailed the very people, the union bosses, who got him elected.
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