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Cambodia reality TV show reunites families torn apart by the Khmer Rouge Cambodia reality TV show reunites families torn apart by the Khmer Rouge
(3 days later)
Khoem Sarom had all but given up hope. In the volatile years after the fall of Cambodia's Khmer Rouge regime, he trudged through malaria-infested jungles on his own to search for a little girl: his missing niece.Khoem Sarom had all but given up hope. In the volatile years after the fall of Cambodia's Khmer Rouge regime, he trudged through malaria-infested jungles on his own to search for a little girl: his missing niece.
But he found only dead ends in the tiny villages and teeming refugee camps where he looked. His young niece, his sister's only daughter, was gone.But he found only dead ends in the tiny villages and teeming refugee camps where he looked. His young niece, his sister's only daughter, was gone.
"I thought I would never again see my niece in this life," Khoem Sarom said at his home near Phnom Penh."I thought I would never again see my niece in this life," Khoem Sarom said at his home near Phnom Penh.
It has been almost 35 years since the Khmer Rouge collapsed, leaving behind a devastated country. Historians estimate that a quarter of the population perished during the regime's four-year rule.It has been almost 35 years since the Khmer Rouge collapsed, leaving behind a devastated country. Historians estimate that a quarter of the population perished during the regime's four-year rule.
The effects of that rule linger. Across a recovering nation, Khoem Sarom's story of loss is not unique. The Khmer Rouge split families apart in a ruthless attempt to remake society. Though decades have passed since its fall, many families are still searching for missing loved ones, unsure if they are alive or dead.The effects of that rule linger. Across a recovering nation, Khoem Sarom's story of loss is not unique. The Khmer Rouge split families apart in a ruthless attempt to remake society. Though decades have passed since its fall, many families are still searching for missing loved ones, unsure if they are alive or dead.
For Khoem Sarom and others like him, a reality television show offers a chance to find some sort of closure after years of uncertainty.For Khoem Sarom and others like him, a reality television show offers a chance to find some sort of closure after years of uncertainty.
It's Not a Dream brings together long-lost relatives . The catch is that the reunions are staged under the lights and glare of cameras and a live studio audience.It's Not a Dream brings together long-lost relatives . The catch is that the reunions are staged under the lights and glare of cameras and a live studio audience.
The end result is a jarring fusion: the gawking immediacy of reality TV mixed with raw emotion left by genocide.The end result is a jarring fusion: the gawking immediacy of reality TV mixed with raw emotion left by genocide.
In the absence of a national programme to track down the missing, however, the producers believe the show can play a small but vital role.In the absence of a national programme to track down the missing, however, the producers believe the show can play a small but vital role.
In its three-year run, It's Not a Dream has orchestrated 27 reunions. More than 1,000 applicants have asked the show for help.In its three-year run, It's Not a Dream has orchestrated 27 reunions. More than 1,000 applicants have asked the show for help.
"It's not entertainment," said one of its producers, Prak Sokhayouk. "It's human life.""It's not entertainment," said one of its producers, Prak Sokhayouk. "It's human life."
The show has a mostly older audience – Cambodians who lived through the Khmer Rouge and who see their own haunting experiences reflected in the tearful stories recounted on screen.The show has a mostly older audience – Cambodians who lived through the Khmer Rouge and who see their own haunting experiences reflected in the tearful stories recounted on screen.
The show, Prak Sokhayouk believes, can spark inter-generational discussions needed in a country where the dark past has often been buried.The show, Prak Sokhayouk believes, can spark inter-generational discussions needed in a country where the dark past has often been buried.
It took until 2009 for the government to make Khmer Rouge history a part of the school curriculum. A long-running war crimes tribunal set up to prosecute former leaders has so far convicted one person. Two surviving former leaders are currently facing trial.It took until 2009 for the government to make Khmer Rouge history a part of the school curriculum. A long-running war crimes tribunal set up to prosecute former leaders has so far convicted one person. Two surviving former leaders are currently facing trial.
In such an environment, some observers believe there is a role that even a reality show can play in healing old wounds.In such an environment, some observers believe there is a role that even a reality show can play in healing old wounds.
"It's a very Cambodian way of trying to bring some closure," said Youk Chhang, the director of the Documentation Centre of Cambodia, a prominent genocide research organisation. "You put the story on stage and there's a bit of drama and a happy ending.""It's a very Cambodian way of trying to bring some closure," said Youk Chhang, the director of the Documentation Centre of Cambodia, a prominent genocide research organisation. "You put the story on stage and there's a bit of drama and a happy ending."
Still, not everyone is eager to air their tragedies in such a public forum. Like many Cambodians, Youk Chhang lost family during the Khmer Rouge years.Still, not everyone is eager to air their tragedies in such a public forum. Like many Cambodians, Youk Chhang lost family during the Khmer Rouge years.
"I think reconciliation is very personal. For me, I couldn't," he said. "I have no more tears to cry. So I couldn't go on stage to cry.""I think reconciliation is very personal. For me, I couldn't," he said. "I have no more tears to cry. So I couldn't go on stage to cry."
For others, though, It's Not a Dream is the only chance they have ever had at bringing their family together.For others, though, It's Not a Dream is the only chance they have ever had at bringing their family together.
At a recent taping, Seak Mala sat on stage, waiting to tell her story.At a recent taping, Seak Mala sat on stage, waiting to tell her story.
"I used to go to bed crying, because I always missed my mother," she said on the morning of the show. "I never dared to go looking for them.""I used to go to bed crying, because I always missed my mother," she said on the morning of the show. "I never dared to go looking for them."
Seak Mala had heard about It's Not a Dream months before and decided to call the show. She asked them if they could find her family: her father, mother, grandmother and her uncle.Seak Mala had heard about It's Not a Dream months before and decided to call the show. She asked them if they could find her family: her father, mother, grandmother and her uncle.
"I thought that if my parents and relatives heard my story, they would remember me," she said."I thought that if my parents and relatives heard my story, they would remember me," she said.
On stage, she stared at a large screen that showed a pre-produced video of Khoem Sarom describing his own loss. Backstage, he waited in silence as she slowly realised the man on the screen was her long-lost uncle.On stage, she stared at a large screen that showed a pre-produced video of Khoem Sarom describing his own loss. Backstage, he waited in silence as she slowly realised the man on the screen was her long-lost uncle.
The drama rose to a crescendo and Seak Mala, already in tears, was told she could finally meet him. The drama rose to a climax and Seak Mala, already in tears, was told she could finally meet him.
The show's saccharine reunion music blared through studio speakers as Khoem Sarom was led on stage. For the first time in decades, uncle and niece embraced – and live on a national television.The show's saccharine reunion music blared through studio speakers as Khoem Sarom was led on stage. For the first time in decades, uncle and niece embraced – and live on a national television.
"I thought I lost you for ever," he said, sobbing in his niece's ear."I thought I lost you for ever," he said, sobbing in his niece's ear.
Still, even a seemingly cathartic reunion is bittersweet. As the cameras closed in, Seak Mala whispered a question to her uncle: "Where is my mother?"Still, even a seemingly cathartic reunion is bittersweet. As the cameras closed in, Seak Mala whispered a question to her uncle: "Where is my mother?"
Khoem Sarom wiped his eyes with a cloth. "I don't know if she's alive or if she's dead," he said.Khoem Sarom wiped his eyes with a cloth. "I don't know if she's alive or if she's dead," he said.
• This article was amended on 19 July 2013. An earlier version referred to the drama rising to a crescendo, rather than a climax. This has been corrected.
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