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Experience: My dad ran me over | Experience: My dad ran me over |
(21 days later) | |
It was a beautiful spring day when I decided to go and sunbathe outside my parents' house – not a cloud in the sky. I was a 21-year-old university student at the time, living with my parents in Georgia. I'd spent the night before at my friend's house and when I came home the next day my mum said Dad was on his way over to have lunch with us – something he often did when he had time at work. | It was a beautiful spring day when I decided to go and sunbathe outside my parents' house – not a cloud in the sky. I was a 21-year-old university student at the time, living with my parents in Georgia. I'd spent the night before at my friend's house and when I came home the next day my mum said Dad was on his way over to have lunch with us – something he often did when he had time at work. |
That morning I went upstairs, put on my new swimming costume, grabbed a towel and pillow and went out to catch some sun. | That morning I went upstairs, put on my new swimming costume, grabbed a towel and pillow and went out to catch some sun. |
Mum and I always sunbathed in our driveway – unlike our back garden, it gets much more sun. Driveways here aren't like British ones: they're usually wider and, I thought, very safe with plenty of visibility. We do it all the time around here. | Mum and I always sunbathed in our driveway – unlike our back garden, it gets much more sun. Driveways here aren't like British ones: they're usually wider and, I thought, very safe with plenty of visibility. We do it all the time around here. |
I was lying on my back, with the top of my head facing the street, talking to my friend on the phone, when I heard Dad driving down the road. Looking up and over my shoulder, I saw him stop and check the mail. I figured if I saw him he must have seen me. | I was lying on my back, with the top of my head facing the street, talking to my friend on the phone, when I heard Dad driving down the road. Looking up and over my shoulder, I saw him stop and check the mail. I figured if I saw him he must have seen me. |
But he didn't. He pulled up the driveway and the front of his four-door sedan hit the back of my head and crushed it forward. My chin hit my chest. | But he didn't. He pulled up the driveway and the front of his four-door sedan hit the back of my head and crushed it forward. My chin hit my chest. |
That was it. It was a clean break and I was paralysed from the neck down, although I didn't know it at the time. The shock must have made my body go into automatic mode because I didn't feel any pain. I even told my friend: "I just got run over. I'll call you back." | That was it. It was a clean break and I was paralysed from the neck down, although I didn't know it at the time. The shock must have made my body go into automatic mode because I didn't feel any pain. I even told my friend: "I just got run over. I'll call you back." |
Dad jumped out the car and that's when he realised he'd hit me. He was on autopilot, looking forward to coming inside and having lunch with me. | Dad jumped out the car and that's when he realised he'd hit me. He was on autopilot, looking forward to coming inside and having lunch with me. |
At first Dad thought he'd run over a bucket lying in the drive but when he realised he'd hit me, he started crying, saying: "Oh my God! I'm so sorry." | At first Dad thought he'd run over a bucket lying in the drive but when he realised he'd hit me, he started crying, saying: "Oh my God! I'm so sorry." |
He called 911, as well as screaming for help. He kept saying: "I love you. You're going to be OK." I tried to reassure him by saying: "It's OK, Dad. I just can't feel my arms but I'm going to be all right." | He called 911, as well as screaming for help. He kept saying: "I love you. You're going to be OK." I tried to reassure him by saying: "It's OK, Dad. I just can't feel my arms but I'm going to be all right." |
Mum came running out, yelling at the neighbours, knocking on doors and trying to get help. To this day she blames herself because she didn't call Dad and tell him I was in the driveway. | Mum came running out, yelling at the neighbours, knocking on doors and trying to get help. To this day she blames herself because she didn't call Dad and tell him I was in the driveway. |
At first I thought everything was fine, but when the paramedics arrived and put me on a stretcher I found it hard to breathe. No one was allowed to ride in the air ambulance with me, so I told Dad: "If I die, don't blame yourself. I know it was an accident. You didn't mean to do it." | At first I thought everything was fine, but when the paramedics arrived and put me on a stretcher I found it hard to breathe. No one was allowed to ride in the air ambulance with me, so I told Dad: "If I die, don't blame yourself. I know it was an accident. You didn't mean to do it." |
It was important to me that Dad knew that – whatever happened – and it still is. | It was important to me that Dad knew that – whatever happened – and it still is. |
That night I had six-hour surgery to fuse my vertebrae together but the next morning my parents and I listened as the doctor told me I was paralysed from the neck down. I was devastated – thankful to be alive, but unsure of what lay ahead. | That night I had six-hour surgery to fuse my vertebrae together but the next morning my parents and I listened as the doctor told me I was paralysed from the neck down. I was devastated – thankful to be alive, but unsure of what lay ahead. |
My parents and I cried but they tried to stay positive in front of me. They wanted to focus on rehab therapy and getting as much movement back as possible. | My parents and I cried but they tried to stay positive in front of me. They wanted to focus on rehab therapy and getting as much movement back as possible. |
In the days and weeks ahead Dad couldn't stop apologising. He kept beating himself up. He was worried that I wouldn't be able to have a boyfriend or do normal things like travel or live by myself. | In the days and weeks ahead Dad couldn't stop apologising. He kept beating himself up. He was worried that I wouldn't be able to have a boyfriend or do normal things like travel or live by myself. |
But I've never got depressed or mad at him. He still can't talk about the accident without crying. I don't think he'll ever stop feeling guilty. But every 25 March – on the anniversary of the accident – that's our day to do something together. On the five-year anniversary we went to Paris and Amsterdam but sometimes we'll just have dinner and talk. | But I've never got depressed or mad at him. He still can't talk about the accident without crying. I don't think he'll ever stop feeling guilty. But every 25 March – on the anniversary of the accident – that's our day to do something together. On the five-year anniversary we went to Paris and Amsterdam but sometimes we'll just have dinner and talk. |
Even though life is different, it's still good. I can go anywhere and do anything – with the help of friends and family – like scuba-dive or hiking and camping, things that I liked to do before the accident. Looking back I'm surprised that I've come this far. I think I have a great, normal life. My boyfriend, John, and I are talking about marriage and starting a family. | Even though life is different, it's still good. I can go anywhere and do anything – with the help of friends and family – like scuba-dive or hiking and camping, things that I liked to do before the accident. Looking back I'm surprised that I've come this far. I think I have a great, normal life. My boyfriend, John, and I are talking about marriage and starting a family. |
When I was younger I was more of a mother's girl but since the accident, I've grown closer to Dad. I make sure I see him every day because I want him to know I'm doing OK, and I know that when he sees me he feels better. | When I was younger I was more of a mother's girl but since the accident, I've grown closer to Dad. I make sure I see him every day because I want him to know I'm doing OK, and I know that when he sees me he feels better. |
• As told to Marissa Charles | • As told to Marissa Charles |
Do you have an experience to share? Email experience@theguardian.com | Do you have an experience to share? Email experience@theguardian.com |
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