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Time for Australian parties to have a facelift – and change their names Time for Australian parties to have a facelift – and change their names
(about 3 hours later)
With election thankfully behind us, how do you feel about the next one being fought between two real political parties – the Australian Conservative party (ACP) and the Australian Social Democratic party (ASDP)? With the election thankfully behind us, how do you feel about the next one being fought between two real political parties – the Australian Conservative party (ACP) and the Australian Social Democratic party (ASDP)?
Never heard of them? Actually, they already exist. They just don’t call themselves by those unfamiliar idiosyncratic names. For the ACP, read what currently calls itself the Liberal party. For the ASDP, read what currently goes by the Australian Labor party tag.Never heard of them? Actually, they already exist. They just don’t call themselves by those unfamiliar idiosyncratic names. For the ACP, read what currently calls itself the Liberal party. For the ASDP, read what currently goes by the Australian Labor party tag.
Let’s face it, Labor’s political “brand” is literally generations past its use-by date. And the Liberals' packaging of their hackneyed product is outright false advertising. And given our disillusion and disinterest with the major parties, maybe an all-round shake-up might be in order. If we are merely putting up with the existing apologies for genuine ideologically-motivated choices, why not a freshly-minted reinvention of the two major contestants prior to our next “battle of the parties” in three years time?Let’s face it, Labor’s political “brand” is literally generations past its use-by date. And the Liberals' packaging of their hackneyed product is outright false advertising. And given our disillusion and disinterest with the major parties, maybe an all-round shake-up might be in order. If we are merely putting up with the existing apologies for genuine ideologically-motivated choices, why not a freshly-minted reinvention of the two major contestants prior to our next “battle of the parties” in three years time?
Sure, the pollies have to get on with their governing and opposing – but doesn’t the parlous state of the country’s body politic also make the time ripe for some serious navel-gazing so that next time round, we know not just who we’re voting for, but what?Sure, the pollies have to get on with their governing and opposing – but doesn’t the parlous state of the country’s body politic also make the time ripe for some serious navel-gazing so that next time round, we know not just who we’re voting for, but what?
There are some frighteningly obvious questions – politics 101 stuff – that we should be tossing about so we don’t have to go through the same embarrassing nonsense in 2016.There are some frighteningly obvious questions – politics 101 stuff – that we should be tossing about so we don’t have to go through the same embarrassing nonsense in 2016.
For starters, why is the ALP called the Australian Labor party? No ageism intended, but if you’re an Australian voter under say, 45, there’s a good chance you don’t have a clue.For starters, why is the ALP called the Australian Labor party? No ageism intended, but if you’re an Australian voter under say, 45, there’s a good chance you don’t have a clue.
Consciously opening a political worms, what do most Australians know about the historical origins of what we glibly refer to as Labor? Any idea how long the party’s been around – 20, 50 or whatever many more years? Any idea why that curious word “Labor” in the party’s name is spelled as it is, without a “u” as it would be in the US or the UK? Consciously opening a can of political worms, what do most Australians know about the historical origins of what we glibly refer to as Labor? Any idea how long the party’s been around – 20, 50 or whatever many more years? Any idea why that curious word “Labor” in the party’s name is spelled as it is, without a “u” as it would be in the UK?
That said, who did the ALP originally claimed to represent? Many folk might realise that its name has something to do with work or workers, the providers of labour, but why does it? Does the ALP still represent its original demographic, the ubiquitous Australian working class – or a far more motely bunch of Australians? These days, non-working class Australians also choose to vote Labor. Why do they? That said, who did the ALP originally claim to represent? Many folk might realise that its name has something to do with work or workers, the providers of labour, but why does it? Does the ALP still represent its original demographic, the ubiquitous Australian working class? These days, non-working class Australians also choose to vote Labor. Why do they?
What’s the relationship between the country’s trade unions and Labor? Any chance, by the way, that you’re a member of a trade union? If you’re not, do you know what one is? Would you know if any of your family or friends are members of a trade union? If you were asked, would you join or even consider joining a union or a professional association? By chance, do you know what the letters ACTU stand for?What’s the relationship between the country’s trade unions and Labor? Any chance, by the way, that you’re a member of a trade union? If you’re not, do you know what one is? Would you know if any of your family or friends are members of a trade union? If you were asked, would you join or even consider joining a union or a professional association? By chance, do you know what the letters ACTU stand for?
Do you believe there are socio-economic “classes” in Australia? If you accept that there are, what are they? If you agree classes exist in Australia, which one do you believe you belong to? Do you think socio-economic class influences the way individual Australians vote?Do you believe there are socio-economic “classes” in Australia? If you accept that there are, what are they? If you agree classes exist in Australia, which one do you believe you belong to? Do you think socio-economic class influences the way individual Australians vote?
Interesting related question: how many Australians do you reckon are members of the ALP? Any stab over 30,000 is too high. Labor, the Libs and the Nats might manage to scrape a few more than 100,000 members between them – out of around 10m potential voters. Clearly, we’re great political party critics, but not exactly crash-hot political party joiners.Interesting related question: how many Australians do you reckon are members of the ALP? Any stab over 30,000 is too high. Labor, the Libs and the Nats might manage to scrape a few more than 100,000 members between them – out of around 10m potential voters. Clearly, we’re great political party critics, but not exactly crash-hot political party joiners.
By the way, don’t risk your life holding your breath waiting for whoever ends up leading it to tell you that Labor is “the party on the left of the political spectrum.” These days, it‘s almost impossible to figure where Labor stands. If the party re-invented itself as the ASDP, at least it would have to explain what a social democrat was.By the way, don’t risk your life holding your breath waiting for whoever ends up leading it to tell you that Labor is “the party on the left of the political spectrum.” These days, it‘s almost impossible to figure where Labor stands. If the party re-invented itself as the ASDP, at least it would have to explain what a social democrat was.
In the interest of balance, what if we were to suggest that Australia’s new Coalition government is also a scary misnomer. In fact, it’s close enough to a con. And in the interest of balance, what if we were to suggest that Australia’s new Coalition government is also a scary misnomer? In fact, it’s close enough to a con.
The Nationals should revert to their old nomenclature, the Country party. At least that tells you where almost all their votes come from. As for the alleged Liberal party, it is liberal in name only The ideological reality is that it’s a right-wing conservative party. A political polyglot of Australians on hearing that would quite likely respond by asking “a right-wing conservative party – what the heck is that?”. In a practicing western democracy, there’s nothing wrong or unacceptable about being a right-wing conservative party. But, if you are one, call yourself one.The Nationals should revert to their old nomenclature, the Country party. At least that tells you where almost all their votes come from. As for the alleged Liberal party, it is liberal in name only The ideological reality is that it’s a right-wing conservative party. A political polyglot of Australians on hearing that would quite likely respond by asking “a right-wing conservative party – what the heck is that?”. In a practicing western democracy, there’s nothing wrong or unacceptable about being a right-wing conservative party. But, if you are one, call yourself one.
The political paradox, of course, is that over in the US, to tout yourself as a “liberal” is tantamount to being a communist. Oops! Maybe that’s why we’ll hear a lot about the “Abbott government” or the “Coalition government” – not necessarily the Liberal government. Whatever else the new PM is or isn’t, he’s definitely not a "commie.”The political paradox, of course, is that over in the US, to tout yourself as a “liberal” is tantamount to being a communist. Oops! Maybe that’s why we’ll hear a lot about the “Abbott government” or the “Coalition government” – not necessarily the Liberal government. Whatever else the new PM is or isn’t, he’s definitely not a "commie.”
My point? Basically, if you don’t know why a political party is called the “such-and-such party” – let alone why it exists and what it stands for – how on earth do you decide whether or not to vote for that party’s candidates?My point? Basically, if you don’t know why a political party is called the “such-and-such party” – let alone why it exists and what it stands for – how on earth do you decide whether or not to vote for that party’s candidates?
Of course, we could forget the whole feel-good, time-wasting idea of democracy and elections. Tongue in cheek, why don’t we just toss a coin to decide who runs the country? Ultimately, if the two main parties wind up saying they will do perilously close to the same thing – “but, we will do it better and cheaper than that other mob!” – the result wouldn't matter. Of course, we could forget the whole feel-good, time-wasting idea of democracy and elections. Tongue in cheek, why don’t we just toss a coin to decide who runs the country? Ultimately, if the two main parties wind up saying they will do perilously close to the same thing – “but, we will do it better and cheaper than that other mob!” – the result wouldn't matter. 
After all, in our not-so brave new world, who needs political parties, leaders or governments when you’ve got a wallet full of credit cards, a handy ATM and a generous, pliable loans manager at your local bank?After all, in our not-so brave new world, who needs political parties, leaders or governments when you’ve got a wallet full of credit cards, a handy ATM and a generous, pliable loans manager at your local bank?
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