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| No R.S.V.P.? In Rajasthan, India, No Worries | No R.S.V.P.? In Rajasthan, India, No Worries |
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| In the tiniest of tailor shops in Udaipur, in the northwestern Indian state of Rajasthan, a squad of tailors chaotically fussed over me. It was the peak of autumn wedding season in 2011 and I was being fitted for a sherwani, the traditional Indian garment worn among Rajput aristocracy at Rajasthan weddings. My friend Dianne was standing in a nest of chiffon and georgette, trying on colorful saris. She was debating between the sequined turquoise and the glittery hot pink. | In the tiniest of tailor shops in Udaipur, in the northwestern Indian state of Rajasthan, a squad of tailors chaotically fussed over me. It was the peak of autumn wedding season in 2011 and I was being fitted for a sherwani, the traditional Indian garment worn among Rajput aristocracy at Rajasthan weddings. My friend Dianne was standing in a nest of chiffon and georgette, trying on colorful saris. She was debating between the sequined turquoise and the glittery hot pink. |
| We had been invited to an Indian wedding. As the hand-painted invitation put it: “You’re cordially invited to the wedding of Sau. Kan. Hanupriya Jodha (daughter of Rani Kiran Hada and Darbar Mahendra Vikram Singh Thi. Para) and Chi Kr Navdeep Singh (son of Shri Th. Sh. Rajendra Singh Ji Shekhawat R.P.S. Thi Khachariawas — Adopted by late Shri Th. Sh. Surendra Singh Ji Chauhan Thi Sihali at Govind Villa in Udaipur, Rajasthan, India.” | We had been invited to an Indian wedding. As the hand-painted invitation put it: “You’re cordially invited to the wedding of Sau. Kan. Hanupriya Jodha (daughter of Rani Kiran Hada and Darbar Mahendra Vikram Singh Thi. Para) and Chi Kr Navdeep Singh (son of Shri Th. Sh. Rajendra Singh Ji Shekhawat R.P.S. Thi Khachariawas — Adopted by late Shri Th. Sh. Surendra Singh Ji Chauhan Thi Sihali at Govind Villa in Udaipur, Rajasthan, India.” |
| The newlyweds-to-be were not old friends from college, family members or even friends of friends. Truth be told, we didn’t know the bride and groom or any of their 1,000 other guests. We had been invited thanks to a New York-based tour agency called Micato Safaris, one of a handful of tour agencies that provide access to Indian weddings. Weddings in this region, which are mostly arranged, are a big deal — and for a tidy price, crashing them can be a great way to poke one’s head into a rich cultural window that you won’t get from a guidebook. | The newlyweds-to-be were not old friends from college, family members or even friends of friends. Truth be told, we didn’t know the bride and groom or any of their 1,000 other guests. We had been invited thanks to a New York-based tour agency called Micato Safaris, one of a handful of tour agencies that provide access to Indian weddings. Weddings in this region, which are mostly arranged, are a big deal — and for a tidy price, crashing them can be a great way to poke one’s head into a rich cultural window that you won’t get from a guidebook. |
| Wedding season in Rajasthan is October through February, peaking in late January with another spike occurring around Valentine’s Day. Micato’s Rajasthan tours have seen a seasonal uptick in guests’ requesting access to these lavish three- to five-day ceremonies, long known to include elephants, tigers, over-the-top Bollywood dance troupes and firework displays. | Wedding season in Rajasthan is October through February, peaking in late January with another spike occurring around Valentine’s Day. Micato’s Rajasthan tours have seen a seasonal uptick in guests’ requesting access to these lavish three- to five-day ceremonies, long known to include elephants, tigers, over-the-top Bollywood dance troupes and firework displays. |
| “Big industrialist weddings often have Bollywood actors perform for as much as $200,000 for a five-minute gig,” said Lisa Alam Shah, Micato India’s Delhi-based operations manager. “Theme weddings are also getting big; my daughter attended one recently where they recreated Egypt.” | “Big industrialist weddings often have Bollywood actors perform for as much as $200,000 for a five-minute gig,” said Lisa Alam Shah, Micato India’s Delhi-based operations manager. “Theme weddings are also getting big; my daughter attended one recently where they recreated Egypt.” |
| Luxury tented camps, like Camp Bliss in Pushkar, have been known to invite travelers to weddings, while some travel outfitters, like Cox & Kings and Kensington Tours, scout out hotels where weddings are booked and place their guests there. “Our hotel was hosting a two-night wedding while we stayed there,” said Amanda Dun, who traveled from London with Kensington in 2011, “so our guide arranged for us to watch a baraat” — a lively procession, led by the groom riding a horse, to the bride’s house — “which blocked the streets with musical processions. The colors, jewelry, striking outfits and sheer number of people were astounding.” | Luxury tented camps, like Camp Bliss in Pushkar, have been known to invite travelers to weddings, while some travel outfitters, like Cox & Kings and Kensington Tours, scout out hotels where weddings are booked and place their guests there. “Our hotel was hosting a two-night wedding while we stayed there,” said Amanda Dun, who traveled from London with Kensington in 2011, “so our guide arranged for us to watch a baraat” — a lively procession, led by the groom riding a horse, to the bride’s house — “which blocked the streets with musical processions. The colors, jewelry, striking outfits and sheer number of people were astounding.” |
| Regardless of what province, the families come from, the rolling, rusty, dusty hills of Rajasthan remain a wildly popular wedding destination. And Udaipur’s Lake Pichola, festooned with Mughal palaces, is the pinnacle location, a crossroads of Indians from different castes and regions. Along its shores, a flush of lavish hotels one-up the others with fireworks displays, thumping bhangra music and Bollywood dancing. Guests wear elaborate wedding garb — Punjabis with brightly colored turbans and elaborately waxed mustaches and young women from Chennai in gold-embroidered zardozi gowns. | Regardless of what province, the families come from, the rolling, rusty, dusty hills of Rajasthan remain a wildly popular wedding destination. And Udaipur’s Lake Pichola, festooned with Mughal palaces, is the pinnacle location, a crossroads of Indians from different castes and regions. Along its shores, a flush of lavish hotels one-up the others with fireworks displays, thumping bhangra music and Bollywood dancing. Guests wear elaborate wedding garb — Punjabis with brightly colored turbans and elaborately waxed mustaches and young women from Chennai in gold-embroidered zardozi gowns. |
| All weddings are different, of course, but food almost always plays a central role. However elaborate the ceremonies, much of it is homemade and served communally. It’s vegetarian and delicious. Fragrant bowls of curries, stacks of nan atop silver plates, and savory biriyani in crockpots stretch over long tables. Bars are almost always free, and whiskey flows heavily. | All weddings are different, of course, but food almost always plays a central role. However elaborate the ceremonies, much of it is homemade and served communally. It’s vegetarian and delicious. Fragrant bowls of curries, stacks of nan atop silver plates, and savory biriyani in crockpots stretch over long tables. Bars are almost always free, and whiskey flows heavily. |
| Men and women are separate for much of the ceremony. Women gather for ornate henna bodywork in one tent, while men exchange business tips and network over whiskey and cigarettes in another. Women may enter the men’s tent, but men are strictly forbidden from the women’s. I warily peeked into the women’s tent to check in on Dianne and witnessed women of all ages sitting in a circle painting one another with henna. | Men and women are separate for much of the ceremony. Women gather for ornate henna bodywork in one tent, while men exchange business tips and network over whiskey and cigarettes in another. Women may enter the men’s tent, but men are strictly forbidden from the women’s. I warily peeked into the women’s tent to check in on Dianne and witnessed women of all ages sitting in a circle painting one another with henna. |
| Each day of the wedding is marked by a complex itinerary. Don’t miss the kanyadaan, when the groom promises to the bride’s parents to be just (dharma), to support her (artha) and love her (kama). The byaha haath includes the bride and groom purifying their minds by slathering themselves in uptan, a mixture of sandalwood, turmeric and rose water. After the ceremony, the groom’s family decorates the marriage bed with strands of marigolds and rose petals. | Each day of the wedding is marked by a complex itinerary. Don’t miss the kanyadaan, when the groom promises to the bride’s parents to be just (dharma), to support her (artha) and love her (kama). The byaha haath includes the bride and groom purifying their minds by slathering themselves in uptan, a mixture of sandalwood, turmeric and rose water. After the ceremony, the groom’s family decorates the marriage bed with strands of marigolds and rose petals. |
| If the idea of wedding crashing reeks of colonialism to you, keep in mind that many Indians are especially warm and welcoming to visitors and that many relish the chance to show off their English. You might, as I was, be complimented on your choice of sherwani color, asked about your profession and even be told which guests are local pariahs. | If the idea of wedding crashing reeks of colonialism to you, keep in mind that many Indians are especially warm and welcoming to visitors and that many relish the chance to show off their English. You might, as I was, be complimented on your choice of sherwani color, asked about your profession and even be told which guests are local pariahs. |
| The one I visited was so big that it had other interloping wedding crashers: three 50-something blondes from San Diego with henna-swirled arms and sparkling saris were shepherded around by a handsome Rajasthan guide. I stayed at the wedding for only one night — and never met the bride or groom, which is not uncommon. Since they didn’t invite me personally, it didn’t bother me at all. | The one I visited was so big that it had other interloping wedding crashers: three 50-something blondes from San Diego with henna-swirled arms and sparkling saris were shepherded around by a handsome Rajasthan guide. I stayed at the wedding for only one night — and never met the bride or groom, which is not uncommon. Since they didn’t invite me personally, it didn’t bother me at all. |
| Many travelers leave these weddings feeling more connected to Indian culture and surprised by how universal expressions of love and marriage are. One main difference is that Indian weddings eschew the sentimental for the celebratory. “The more the merrier” remains the golden rule. | Many travelers leave these weddings feeling more connected to Indian culture and surprised by how universal expressions of love and marriage are. One main difference is that Indian weddings eschew the sentimental for the celebratory. “The more the merrier” remains the golden rule. |
| WEDDING CRASHERS | WEDDING CRASHERS |
| Visitors to Rajasthan are likely to stumble on a wedding if traveling there between October and February, but using a tour operator can help your chances. | Visitors to Rajasthan are likely to stumble on a wedding if traveling there between October and February, but using a tour operator can help your chances. |
| Micato (micato.com/india; five-night packages, including lodging, meals, activities, tips and flights within India, from $7,590) can help visitors experience an authentic Indian wedding by arranging invitations and fittings of saris and sherwanis. | Micato (micato.com/india; five-night packages, including lodging, meals, activities, tips and flights within India, from $7,590) can help visitors experience an authentic Indian wedding by arranging invitations and fittings of saris and sherwanis. |
| Cox & Kings (coxandkingsusa.com; seven nights, including lodging, and some meals, from $4,395) arranges wedding encounters in their Jewels of India Tour. | Cox & Kings (coxandkingsusa.com; seven nights, including lodging, and some meals, from $4,395) arranges wedding encounters in their Jewels of India Tour. |
| London-based Mystic India (mysticindia.co.uk; eight-night home stays from $1,252) creates a range of tours to fit every budget; for wedding encounters, guests are required to bring a gift valued at £100, about $160, or more, to the wedding couple. | London-based Mystic India (mysticindia.co.uk; eight-night home stays from $1,252) creates a range of tours to fit every budget; for wedding encounters, guests are required to bring a gift valued at £100, about $160, or more, to the wedding couple. |
This article has been revised to reflect the following correction: | This article has been revised to reflect the following correction: |
| Correction: November 13, 2013 | Correction: November 13, 2013 |
An earlier version of this article misstated a word that is often used to mean love in Indian wedding vows. It is kama, not karma. |