I'm hearing Chinese whispers, Dave

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/dec/03/china-david-cameron-samantha-camerons-diary

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OMG best night of the year #BritishFashionAwards, I mean Dave rang from China, I'm like God I can't believe you missed Suzy Menkes on refusing goody bags, people were openly weeping, seriously before you leave Hong Kong you must tell President Mao Tse whatever that integrity is going to be a thing for AW14, think vintage collectivisation meets Isabella Blow, he will LOVE? Btw Honest Phil was there he says you owe him fucking big time plus I talked to Kate Moss she was like God clothes are so like decadent I swear next Playboy I am literally going to go naked because seriously who needs tails etc when people are like STARVING, Alexa was like I KNOW, the whole hedonistic up-do thing makes me like literally sick in my MOUTH, so God to eat there was British tapas, divine, as in lamb shanks are back & someone saw Amanda Harlech eat a CHIP, Dave was like please stop, we had bamboo fungus.

I am like *vom face* you are joking right, he is like, I swear, also sturgeon marrow I'm like OMFG hilair, did Chadders eat it, Dave's like, no one has seen Chadders since Rohan chained him to a lamp-post in Tiananmen Square, serious bant, I'm like what about Alan Parker is he not fungus intolerant, Dave's like Parky was out paintballing with Sherard Cowper-Coles #typical, bantissimus maximus apparently, the Chinese laid on Tibetans and actual bullets, I'm like, what about Willie? Dave is like no offence to your stepfather babes, totes bant value, but tbh I do not think our Chinese friends are keen? Because after the premier, Lee something, totally gifts us HS2, as in bonded labour & suicide nets included, I'm like wowzers Mr Lee but Willie goes excuse me my good fellow I do not know if you have ever visited the Chilterns where my family has a little place, no, well perhaps you heard my speech in the Lords for my sins, haha no, anyway no offence to my son-in-law, eh David, but over my dead body. And Mr Lee is like, fine, and we have not seen Willie since? I'm like well I said you should have taken Mummy, her "Coolie" lanterns are to die for :(

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