Nelson Mandela's closest aide tells of her life with 'beloved Madiba'

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/dec/15/nelson-mandela-zelda-la-grange-interview

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She has been dubbed "Mandela's rock". For 16 years, Zelda la Grange was the constant companion at Nelson Mandela's side, organising his diary, joining him on foreign tours, shouldering his cares. It gave her unrivalled access to world leaders ranging from Bill Clinton to Muammar Gaddafi – whom, she recalls, was one of the few to ask what her boss would like for supper.

It was an unlikely role for a young woman from a conservative Afrikaner background, who joined the presidential typing pool after Mandela's election in 1994. She soon won his trust, accompanying him on a state visit to Japan the following year, and went on to become his right-hand woman and, in effect, his "white granddaughter". But she says the round-the-clock devotion to her job meant marriage and children got left behind.

On Sunday, the 43-year-old will be in Qunu at the state funeral of the man who spent more hours with her than almost anyone after his release from prison. "It's a great loss," she told the <em>Observer</em>, tears welling in her eyes, in her first newspaper interview since Mandela's death on 5 December at the age of 95. "You spend so much time with someone, it's 16 years that you see each other every day, and you're on the telephone all the time. So it becomes very emotional … he felt like a grandfather to me."

Mandela nicknamed her Zeldina after a state visit to Russia in 1999 when he learned President Boris Yeltsin's wife was called Yeltsina, and it stuck. He was a tough and demanding but irreplaceable boss, she recalls. "He was the most incredible person to work for and I think my biggest crisis is now, how will I ever find someone like that to work for again? Whatever I do, I'm never going to be satisfied. I have to say he wasn't a pushover. You couldn't convince him of anything: if he made up his mind about something, he stuck to that.

"But having said that, he was also a very straightforward person: you knew exactly what he wanted, you knew what he expected of you and, as long as you were doing that, it was very easy to work for him. Especially during his presidency, he was a bit of a slave driver and he worked exceptionally hard: he would call at two o'clock in the morning and, for an elderly person to work at that pace, it was hard, and the pressure from the outside world was really relentless. But [that was] Madiba."

La Grange was like a fly on the wall as Mandela visited palaces and parliaments around the world. He would turn to her as a sounding board, often in the Afrikaans language, which he had learned during his long imprisonment on Robben Island. "It became a secret weapon. Whenever we were in a foreign country and he didn't want people to know what he was saying or asking me, he would use Afrikaans."

Some politicians gained a particular hold on Mandela's affections. "Because we worked so closely with the Clintons, President Bill Clinton was definitely one of his favourites. He was very touched that President Nicolas Sarkozy came out to the airport to meet us, even after Madiba retired. He was very fond of Jacques Chirac … as well. Having said that, he was not less fond of John Major and Tony Blair. He worked well with them but he also criticised them when it was necessary."

Even Margaret Thatcher, who notoriously referred to Mandela's African National Congress (ANC) as a terrorist organisation, was forgiven. "On two occasions I was with him when we saw her and, despite the history, it was a very courteous relationship. He was respectful of her and she of him."

Mandela has been criticised for maintaining warm relations with leaders such as Gaddafi. La Grange explained: "Because of the Lockerbie negotiations, we knew Gaddafi and his people quite well. Madiba never condoned the things that he did wrong but the fact that he delivered on his promise meant a lot to him, because it showed him there was a relationship based on trust.

"Gaddafi was so hospitable whenever we went to Libya. He would ask Madiba, 'what would you like to be prepared for supper?' Very few other heads of state went to the trouble to ask. That was the type of relationship he had with him. People frown upon his relationship with Gaddafi but, when there were only the two gentlemen, they were courteous and respectful and there was an appreciation from both sides."

La Grange denies claims that Mandela felt his successor as president, Thabo Mbeki, steered the country off course. "There were aspects that he may not have been happy with but he would tell Mr Mbeki so. Madiba never shied away from saying in public and private that South Africa never had a better president than Mbeki. It would be incorrect to say he disapproved."

Mandela also had a sharp sense of humour, according to La Grange. "Gordon Brown was still in office and I briefed Madiba to say something nice and that we were happy to visit. . But, when he walked in, he said: 'We're very happy to see prime minister Brown and we're here to remind [the British] that although they colonised us, we have now taken over.' That's his sense of humour. I was totally shocked and afterwards I said, 'Why did you say that?' He thought it was quite funny. No matter how serious things were, he always had a way of lightening the atmosphere."

And what of Mandela's penchant for celebrities such as Naomi Campbell, Michael Jackson and the Spice Girls? "I think he was amused and entertained by their fame; he was almost curious in a way, he wanted to see for himself why people were famous. It intrigued him. Naomi was like a granddaughter to him. The fact she offered her celebrity status to support his charitable work was very important and special to him."

With racial apartheid barely in its grave, it was a classic Mandela gesture to appoint a white person to his inner circle, despite objections at the time. La Grange had grown up north of the capital, Pretoria, "where people were exceptionally conservative and totally oblivious of what was really happening politically in South Africa".

When she started working for Mandela, her parents were suspicious "because the Afrikaner was brought up to believe that he was a terrorist, but we now know today's terrorist is tomorrow's hero. We were fearful of him and he represented that fear for the Afrikaner but obviously that changed completely."

She added: "Having the interaction with him changed people: it had a ripple effect, not only in my life but in my parents' lives. It changed them and it changed their friends because [they learned] he was completely the opposite of what they were brought up to believe."

Mandela stepped down from the presidency after one term in 1999, setting an example that many leaders in Africa and elsewhere have failed to follow. It meant La Grange, not yet 30, was thrown in at the deep end with a much increased workload, from arranging foreign travel to calling press conferences to negotiating with foreign governments. She was his gatekeeper and the only staff member to accompany him on every trip, leaving little time for a social life.

"People start befriending you for the wrong reasons, so you have to be extra cautious of what people's intentions may be," she said. "I'm an all-or-nothing person so I gave my everything to the job and I didn't really worry about whatever got left behind, the social [life] or having a family and so on. But I'm happy that I did it because he needed that kind of support, so I'm grateful for the opportunity."

Were there boyfriends? "Oh yes, and then as soon as they met Brad Pitt or they got the book signed or whatever, they would become scarce. So you try to avoid relationships altogether later on. I've got exceptionally good friends that I met either through work or as a result of work. As you mature a bit, you're in a better position to choose friends that you can walk with on a long road."

She insists she has no regrets about dedicating herself to the man millions admired but few really got to know. "There was no one else who was going to have this opportunity and it had to come at a price. I don't feel that I've missed out on anything."

La Grange, who will continue to raise funds for Mandela's foundation, last saw him two or three months ago and this is now the memory she cherishes most. "He could still smile at that point. The way his infectious smile [lit] up a room – that's the thing that will stay with me the longest."

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