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What Brits should know about Australian tourists What Brits should know about Australian tourists
(about 5 hours later)
In a bid to make Australians and other foreigners feel welcome, Visit Britain, the UK’s national tourism body, issued a list of cultural do’s and don’ts aimed at tourism operators. Amongst advice not to make fun of Indian accents, avoid eye contact with French tourists, and not to talk politics with Belgians, was the brief not to be offended by Australians’ jokes about poms as we’re just being endearing. In a bid to make Australians and other foreigners feel welcome, Visit Britain, the UK’s national tourism body, issued a list of cultural dos and don’ts aimed at tourism operators. Amongst advice not to make fun of Indian accents, avoid eye contact with French tourists, and not to talk politics with Belgians, was the brief not to be offended by Australians’ jokes about poms as we’re just being endearing.
Branded as blunt and sarcastic, Aussies, it seems, can be taken the wrong way. It’s utterly charming that the Brits would want us to feel at home (did anyone mention the Republican Movement?), so I thought it best to make a more accurate list to enable just that. Here are the top ten tips for Brits dealing with Australians abroad . Branded as blunt and sarcastic, Aussies, it seems, can be taken the wrong way. It’s utterly charming that the Brits would want us to feel at home (did anyone mention the Republican Movement?), so I thought it best to make a more accurate list to enable just that. Here are the top ten tips for Brits dealing with Australians abroad.
1. When we call you poms we’re not being endearing1. When we call you poms we’re not being endearing
Let’s get this one out of the way, straight off the bat – we always mean what we say about the poms. That may sound a little testy, but we take our sledging seriously. Our prime minister even condones this cultural bashing, and by no means should it be taken to mean anything “endearing”. Just how many Ashes we have to thoroughly flog you with to get this though remains to be seen, but if our recent winning wasn’t sufficient, we’re happy to go harder.Let’s get this one out of the way, straight off the bat – we always mean what we say about the poms. That may sound a little testy, but we take our sledging seriously. Our prime minister even condones this cultural bashing, and by no means should it be taken to mean anything “endearing”. Just how many Ashes we have to thoroughly flog you with to get this though remains to be seen, but if our recent winning wasn’t sufficient, we’re happy to go harder.
2. Don’t call us racist2. Don’t call us racist
This one is pretty much like pointing a blow torch at an open wound. We may be racist, we just don’t like hearing about it. Though, in the spirit of fairness, Visit Britain did provide us with bit of healthy competition on this one.This one is pretty much like pointing a blow torch at an open wound. We may be racist, we just don’t like hearing about it. Though, in the spirit of fairness, Visit Britain did provide us with bit of healthy competition on this one.
3. We’re not “being cute” when we request a “tradie”3. We’re not “being cute” when we request a “tradie”
When we ask directions to the servo, set meetings in the arvo, order a sanga, require the services of a sparkie and talk about the war on bikies (you know those alleged criminals who ride hogs as opposed to a gang of moustachioed 24-year olds on their fixies) we’re not being cute. We’re simply not a nation of long-syllabled-words.When we ask directions to the servo, set meetings in the arvo, order a sanga, require the services of a sparkie and talk about the war on bikies (you know those alleged criminals who ride hogs as opposed to a gang of moustachioed 24-year olds on their fixies) we’re not being cute. We’re simply not a nation of long-syllabled-words.
4. Don’t mention the war – the culture war, that is4. Don’t mention the war – the culture war, that is
There aren’t many people unaffected by recent government policy changes that clamp down on refugees, single mothers, environmentalists, women’s rights, scientists and ... you get the picture. Most Australians you meet would have had something they believed passionately about curtailed, derailed or shut down. It makes for weary living while in Australia, so give us a break when we’re not at home.There aren’t many people unaffected by recent government policy changes that clamp down on refugees, single mothers, environmentalists, women’s rights, scientists and ... you get the picture. Most Australians you meet would have had something they believed passionately about curtailed, derailed or shut down. It makes for weary living while in Australia, so give us a break when we’re not at home.
5. We really think poms are whingers5. We really think poms are whingers
Refer to number one.Refer to number one.
6. No, we don’t know your friend John from Melbourne6. No, we don’t know your friend John from Melbourne
Maybe it’s the perceived smallness of Australia, but we tend to get asked an awful lot if we know fellow Australians. Britain might have three times the population of Australia, but at close to 23 million people now, there are more than a few of us (not accounting for the vast geographical distances between cities).Maybe it’s the perceived smallness of Australia, but we tend to get asked an awful lot if we know fellow Australians. Britain might have three times the population of Australia, but at close to 23 million people now, there are more than a few of us (not accounting for the vast geographical distances between cities).
7. Don’t offer us shrimps on the barbie7. Don’t offer us shrimps on the barbie
Most shrimps are not edible (we use them as bait), or they are too small to be caught commercially in Australia. The only edible shrimps seen in Australia are imported in cans from Asia. We do however, put prawns on the barbie, and we would happily consume them should they be offered, but it’s not a national pastime.Most shrimps are not edible (we use them as bait), or they are too small to be caught commercially in Australia. The only edible shrimps seen in Australia are imported in cans from Asia. We do however, put prawns on the barbie, and we would happily consume them should they be offered, but it’s not a national pastime.
8. Direct us to the nearest fireworks8. Direct us to the nearest fireworks
Seriously, we put Disneyland to shame in our love of a good fireworks display. Not content with one Sydney harbour display at New Year’s Eve, we put on three. And it’s not just ringing in the new year that gets big treatment, Chinese New Year is another one, followed by Australia Day. But any excuse really, and there we are, lighting up the sky.Seriously, we put Disneyland to shame in our love of a good fireworks display. Not content with one Sydney harbour display at New Year’s Eve, we put on three. And it’s not just ringing in the new year that gets big treatment, Chinese New Year is another one, followed by Australia Day. But any excuse really, and there we are, lighting up the sky.
9. Don’t serve us Marmite9. Don’t serve us Marmite
Marmite is quite simply no substitute for Vegemite. It might now be owned by American company Kraft Foods, but our loyalty is unwavering when it comes to this particular concoction of brewer’s yeast extract. We weren’t even tempted when post-acquisition uproar a number Australian-owned substitutes like AussieMite and Ozemite entered the market. Basically we love the stuff more than we love our country. Marmite is quite simply no substitute for Vegemite. It might now be owned by American company Kraft Foods, but our loyalty is unwavering when it comes to this particular concoction of brewer’s yeast extract. We weren’t even tempted when, post-acquisition uproar, a number Australian-owned substitutes like AussieMite and Ozemite entered the market. Basically we love the stuff more than we love our country.
10. We will be tired on arrival10. We will be tired on arrival
Ok, we’ll give Visit Britain a pass on this one for presenting this as a point for consideration. It’s true that we have to travel great distances to get pretty much anywhere, but nothing like a good rest in the arvo and a sanga on arrival to put that right. And let’s face it, tiredness is just another great excuse to have a go at the poms and get away with it. They find it endearing! I guess it makes that Ashes losses a little easier to swallow. Ok, we’ll give Visit Britain a pass on this one for presenting this as a point for consideration. It’s true that we have to travel great distances to get pretty much anywhere, but there's nothing like a good rest in the arvo and a sanga on arrival to put that right. And let’s face it, tiredness is just another great excuse to have a go at the poms and get away with it. They find it endearing! I guess it makes that Ashes losses a little easier to swallow.
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