This article is from the source 'bbc' and was first published or seen on . It last changed over 40 days ago and won't be checked again for changes.
You can find the current article at its original source at http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-25668060
The article has changed 6 times. There is an RSS feed of changes available.
| Version 4 | Version 5 |
|---|---|
| Coming out: 'I went to work expecting the worst day of my life' | Coming out: 'I went to work expecting the worst day of my life' |
| (2 months later) | |
| A table of the most gay-friendly employers has been published by campaign group Stonewall. But what reaction can people in traditionally macho jobs expect from colleagues after they come out? | A table of the most gay-friendly employers has been published by campaign group Stonewall. But what reaction can people in traditionally macho jobs expect from colleagues after they come out? |
| On paper it was a perfect afternoon. | On paper it was a perfect afternoon. |
| Wales were minutes away from a rare Six Nations win over England. | Wales were minutes away from a rare Six Nations win over England. |
| Watching in a London pub, James Wharton - an 18-year-old soldier from Wrexham - should have been revelling in the victory in front of his four English friends. | Watching in a London pub, James Wharton - an 18-year-old soldier from Wrexham - should have been revelling in the victory in front of his four English friends. |
| "I should have been jubilant," he remembers. "I'm normally quite a loud character with my mates but I was in my box, I was depressed." | "I should have been jubilant," he remembers. "I'm normally quite a loud character with my mates but I was in my box, I was depressed." |
| One-by-one they asked him what was wrong: "Is it debt? Problems back home?" | One-by-one they asked him what was wrong: "Is it debt? Problems back home?" |
| Then, as at least one of them already suspected, "Are you gay?" | Then, as at least one of them already suspected, "Are you gay?" |
| He was about to admit to them what he had so far admitted only to himself. | He was about to admit to them what he had so far admitted only to himself. |
| "I never set out to come out. It just sort of happened." | "I never set out to come out. It just sort of happened." |
| That, it turned out, was the easy part. | That, it turned out, was the easy part. |
| As James puts it: "I knew I had to go back to work and that it wouldn't be four friends I was telling. It'd be 200 people who I didn't really know." | As James puts it: "I knew I had to go back to work and that it wouldn't be four friends I was telling. It'd be 200 people who I didn't really know." |
| A ban on gay men and women serving in the armed forces had been lifted only five years earlier. | A ban on gay men and women serving in the armed forces had been lifted only five years earlier. |
| His superiors called him in. | His superiors called him in. |
| Before 2000 it would have been a court martial offence, his room would have been turned over for evidence and his fledgling army career would have been over. | Before 2000 it would have been a court martial offence, his room would have been turned over for evidence and his fledgling army career would have been over. |
| Left in hospital | Left in hospital |
| But instead they offered support. They asked if everything was OK or if he needed time to tell his parents. | But instead they offered support. They asked if everything was OK or if he needed time to tell his parents. |
| "I went to work expecting the worst day of my life," he remembers. | "I went to work expecting the worst day of my life," he remembers. |
| "But I guessed it wrong. What I anticipated didn't come to pass." | "But I guessed it wrong. What I anticipated didn't come to pass." |
| His comrades treated him as though he were a minor celebrity. | His comrades treated him as though he were a minor celebrity. |
| And when he was deployed to Basra, he kept a photo of his partner by his bed. | And when he was deployed to Basra, he kept a photo of his partner by his bed. |
| Only once or twice did the bullying he had been braced for go beyond what he calls "the obvious banter". | Only once or twice did the bullying he had been braced for go beyond what he calls "the obvious banter". |
| Most of the time his friends stepped in, but on one occasion - just months after coming out - a vicious homophobic attack left him in hospital. | Most of the time his friends stepped in, but on one occasion - just months after coming out - a vicious homophobic attack left him in hospital. |
| He had been drinking in a bar with a fellow soldier. | He had been drinking in a bar with a fellow soldier. |
| But later that night, when he took him back to the barracks: "Instead of what I assumed was going to happen, I got beaten up." | But later that night, when he took him back to the barracks: "Instead of what I assumed was going to happen, I got beaten up." |
| The other soldier would later face a court martial. | |
| He had beaten James with an iron pole, kicking and punching him, leaving him bloodied in his room. | He had beaten James with an iron pole, kicking and punching him, leaving him bloodied in his room. |
| It was a brutal but one-off incident and in the decade James spent in the Army, he says the atmosphere became markedly less homophobic. | It was a brutal but one-off incident and in the decade James spent in the Army, he says the atmosphere became markedly less homophobic. |
| 'Wrong' | 'Wrong' |
| Before that, the casual and at the time legal discrimination meant soldiers had to live a lie or keep their true self well-hidden. | Before that, the casual and at the time legal discrimination meant soldiers had to live a lie or keep their true self well-hidden. |
| It was under these conditions that MP Crispin Blunt - until recently prisons minister in the coalition government - spent 11 years as a soldier, rising to the rank of captain and never admitting he was gay. | It was under these conditions that MP Crispin Blunt - until recently prisons minister in the coalition government - spent 11 years as a soldier, rising to the rank of captain and never admitting he was gay. |
| "Even if my instinct was in that direction, it was illegal; it was wrong," he says now. | "Even if my instinct was in that direction, it was illegal; it was wrong," he says now. |
| "I was a soldier's son. Both my grandfathers were in the forces. I had absolutely no contact with what you might call 'gay society'. | "I was a soldier's son. Both my grandfathers were in the forces. I had absolutely no contact with what you might call 'gay society'. |
| "These were people to be laughed at." | "These were people to be laughed at." |
| In the 1990s he left the forces, started a family and swapped the battlefield for the benches of the House of Commons - another male-dominated, often bruising place where any perceived weakness can be mercilessly exploited by rivals and opponents. | In the 1990s he left the forces, started a family and swapped the battlefield for the benches of the House of Commons - another male-dominated, often bruising place where any perceived weakness can be mercilessly exploited by rivals and opponents. |
| Then, in summer 2010, his marriage of 20 years came to an end. | Then, in summer 2010, his marriage of 20 years came to an end. |
| He had taken the decision to come out and had to explain why he was no longer appearing in public with his wife. | He had taken the decision to come out and had to explain why he was no longer appearing in public with his wife. |
| After putting out a press statement and emailing his local Conservative Association, he returned to the Commons not knowing what to expect. | After putting out a press statement and emailing his local Conservative Association, he returned to the Commons not knowing what to expect. |
| "Members kept coming up to me and asking 'are you OK?'" he says. | "Members kept coming up to me and asking 'are you OK?'" he says. |
| "I wanted to say I'm more than OK. | "I wanted to say I'm more than OK. |
| "You think it's going to be absolutely dreadful and in fact it's a positive experience - the euphoria of finally being able to be yourself." | "You think it's going to be absolutely dreadful and in fact it's a positive experience - the euphoria of finally being able to be yourself." |
| 'Destroying lives' | 'Destroying lives' |
| And despite Parliament's image as boisterous and sometimes boorish, he says it was the atmosphere at Westminster - in contrast to his time in the Army - that encouraged him to come out. | And despite Parliament's image as boisterous and sometimes boorish, he says it was the atmosphere at Westminster - in contrast to his time in the Army - that encouraged him to come out. |
| It would now be close to "career suicide", he says, to criticise a fellow MP because of their sexuality. | It would now be close to "career suicide", he says, to criticise a fellow MP because of their sexuality. |
| Just a few years earlier the climate for politicians and those in public life was very different. | Just a few years earlier the climate for politicians and those in public life was very different. |
| After a number of ministers in the then Labour government came out in 1998, the Sun newspaper splashed across its front page: "Are we being run by a gay mafia?" | After a number of ministers in the then Labour government came out in 1998, the Sun newspaper splashed across its front page: "Are we being run by a gay mafia?" |
| But, as Crispin Blunt puts it, "society was changing". | But, as Crispin Blunt puts it, "society was changing". |
| The paper misjudged the public mood and apologised, promising it was "no longer in the business of destroying closet gays' lives". | The paper misjudged the public mood and apologised, promising it was "no longer in the business of destroying closet gays' lives". |
| 'Sex romp' | 'Sex romp' |
| On the receiving end of the Sun's sister paper, the now-defunct News of the World, was retired police officer and trainer Vic Codling. | On the receiving end of the Sun's sister paper, the now-defunct News of the World, was retired police officer and trainer Vic Codling. |
| It was 1991 and the 6ft-plus, broad-chested Geordie was standing before the new intake of police recruits at the Met's training base in north London explaining how to make an arrest. | It was 1991 and the 6ft-plus, broad-chested Geordie was standing before the new intake of police recruits at the Met's training base in north London explaining how to make an arrest. |
| "The boss wants to see you," came a message. | "The boss wants to see you," came a message. |
| He was called into the superintendent's office. | He was called into the superintendent's office. |
| "Guess who I've just had on the phone," Vic's super asked. | "Guess who I've just had on the phone," Vic's super asked. |
| It was the News of the World, demanding to know what he was going to do about one of his officers being involved in a "gay sex romp". | It was the News of the World, demanding to know what he was going to do about one of his officers being involved in a "gay sex romp". |
| The former sheet metal worker had moved from the North East in part to escape homophobia - "an engineering site on Tyneside wasn't the sort of place you wanted to be a 'poof'," he says. | The former sheet metal worker had moved from the North East in part to escape homophobia - "an engineering site on Tyneside wasn't the sort of place you wanted to be a 'poof'," he says. |
| And now he was about to be outed - not just to his boss, colleagues and the rookie officers but to the world. | And now he was about to be outed - not just to his boss, colleagues and the rookie officers but to the world. |
| 'Disgraceful' | 'Disgraceful' |
| When the kiss-and-tell was published under the headline "Gay cop took down my particulars", he recalls the reaction of politicians and retired policemen. | When the kiss-and-tell was published under the headline "Gay cop took down my particulars", he recalls the reaction of politicians and retired policemen. |
| "They said, 'what on earth is this practising homosexual man doing working with young officers?'." | "They said, 'what on earth is this practising homosexual man doing working with young officers?'." |
| But from the rank-and-file and, for the sake of his career, his superiors? | But from the rank-and-file and, for the sake of his career, his superiors? |
| "I never had a single negative reaction. | "I never had a single negative reaction. |
| "It shouldn't have surprised us," he says, echoing soldier James Wharton and MP Crispin Blunt. | "It shouldn't have surprised us," he says, echoing soldier James Wharton and MP Crispin Blunt. |
| "I thought the overall reception was going to be terrible. But it wasn't." | "I thought the overall reception was going to be terrible. But it wasn't." |
| When confronted with the tabloid expose, he denied the "romp" but confessed his sexuality. | When confronted with the tabloid expose, he denied the "romp" but confessed his sexuality. |
| "Who cares?" was his superintendent's response. | "Who cares?" was his superintendent's response. |
| Vic, now national co-ordinator of the Gay Police Association, says he wouldn't have dreamed of going to his reps at the Police Federation. | Vic, now national co-ordinator of the Gay Police Association, says he wouldn't have dreamed of going to his reps at the Police Federation. |
| "They'd said it was disgraceful that a gay officer was involved in training." | "They'd said it was disgraceful that a gay officer was involved in training." |
| He says it was and still is harder for police officers in smaller, rural communities where coming out at work effectively means coming out to everyone - family, friends, and the public being policed. | He says it was and still is harder for police officers in smaller, rural communities where coming out at work effectively means coming out to everyone - family, friends, and the public being policed. |
| But huge strides had been made, in part because of a homophobic bomb attack on a gay pub in Soho which killed three people and left dozens injured. | But huge strides had been made, in part because of a homophobic bomb attack on a gay pub in Soho which killed three people and left dozens injured. |
| The Met needed officers who understood the gay community. They travelled from around the country - Cumbria, Scotland, Northamptonshire, Northumbria. | The Met needed officers who understood the gay community. They travelled from around the country - Cumbria, Scotland, Northamptonshire, Northumbria. |
| "People came out as gay to help the investigation," Vic says. | "People came out as gay to help the investigation," Vic says. |
| "If you wanted to go to London you had to explain why." | "If you wanted to go to London you had to explain why." |
| He believes the way he had been outed though, in such a public way, did his career no harm at all. | He believes the way he had been outed though, in such a public way, did his career no harm at all. |
| Issues of homophobia in the police were pushed his way. He got support from unexpected places. | Issues of homophobia in the police were pushed his way. He got support from unexpected places. |
| "Suddenly, because my profile had been raised, people found it easier to come forward." | "Suddenly, because my profile had been raised, people found it easier to come forward." |
| But despite the progress, Vic believes the force, and many workplaces in Britain, remain "institutionally heterocentric". | But despite the progress, Vic believes the force, and many workplaces in Britain, remain "institutionally heterocentric". |
| "People keep talking about tolerance. We don't want to be tolerated - we want to be accepted." | "People keep talking about tolerance. We don't want to be tolerated - we want to be accepted." |