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Olympic figure skating: where sequins and controversy pair up Olympic figure skating: where sequins and controversy pair up
(about 5 hours later)
There are skills in this world one admires for their complexity. There are those elevated by their life-or-death necessity. And then there are those which achieve a sort of splendor through pointlessness. This covers all sports, obviously, but none more so than what might be called the decorative ones: synchronised swimming, rhythmic gymnastics, and the most pointless sport of all - the one in which pointlessness has been raised to the level of an art form - figure skating. There are skills in this world one admires for their complexity. There are those elevated by their life-or-death necessity. And then there are those which achieve a sort of splendor through pointlessness. This covers all sports, obviously, but none more so than what might be called the decorative ones: synchronised swimming, rhythmic gymnastics, and the most pointless sport of all – the one in which pointlessness has been raised to the level of an art form – figure skating.
I don't say this to be snarky. On Sunday, I spent many happy hours (well, 20 minutes at least) watching the US national figure skating championships on NBC. It's a spectacle that appeals to the child in all of us: sequins, clown makeup, the idle thought of "what if I had become a figure skater?" And the even more terrifying after-thought: what if I had a kid who wanted to become a figure skater? I don't say this to be snarky. On Sunday, I spent many happy hours (well, 20 minutes at least) watching the US national figure skating championships on NBC. It's a spectacle that appeals to the child in all of us: sequins, clown makeup, the idle thought of "What if I had become a figure skater?" And the even more terrifying after-thought: what if I had a kid who wanted to become a figure skater?
Hovering over it all, is the possibility of watching someone drop mid-flight like a stone on the ice. You don't get that from lawn tennis.Hovering over it all, is the possibility of watching someone drop mid-flight like a stone on the ice. You don't get that from lawn tennis.
Every 20 years or so, figure skating throws up a larger storyline, which reminds one of the famous saying that academic politics are so vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. It's two decades since Tonya Harding tried to take out her rival Nancy Kerrigan and their names still have currency, so much so that a documentary on ESPN on Thursday night looks at what happened to them afterwards and tries to parse the lingering sense that they're a punchline to a joke.Every 20 years or so, figure skating throws up a larger storyline, which reminds one of the famous saying that academic politics are so vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. It's two decades since Tonya Harding tried to take out her rival Nancy Kerrigan and their names still have currency, so much so that a documentary on ESPN on Thursday night looks at what happened to them afterwards and tries to parse the lingering sense that they're a punchline to a joke.
In the UK, as with most things, we had a tamer version of the Harding-Kerrigan scandal. Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean, a British skating pair who won gold at the Winter Olympics in Sarajevo in '84 with a line of perfect 6.0s, turned out kind of to have loathed each other, at least in training, where a behind-the-scenes documentary caught Dean relentlessly bullying his partner until she cried. It doesn't sound like much, I know, but it shocked a nation not used to winning at sports and which had consequently invested a lot in them. The day after they won, schools across Britain used Ravel's Bolero, the soundtrack to their routine, as a teaching aid. We were made to listen to it while doing a drawing of what the music made us think about. As I recall, most of us drew two people figure-skating. In the UK, as with most things, we had a tamer version of the Harding-Kerrigan scandal. Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean, a British skating pair who won gold at the Winter Olympics in Sarajevo in 1984 with a line of perfect 6s, turned out kind of to have loathed each other, at least in training, where a behind-the-scenes documentary caught Dean relentlessly bullying his partner until she cried. It doesn't sound like much, I know, but it shocked a nation not used to winning at sports and which had consequently invested a lot in them. The day after they won, schools across Britain used Ravel's Bolero, the soundtrack to their routine, as a teaching aid. We were made to listen to it while doing a drawing of what the music made us think about. As I recall, most of us drew two people figure-skating.
So we're due for another skating debacle, to gin up interest in Sochi and allow us to revive terms long dormant in the collective folk memory, like the axel jump and the triple lutz, a move described by US Figure Skating as "a toe-pick-assisted jump taken off from a back outside edge and landed on the back outside edge of the opposite foot," and named after Alois Lutz, the Austrian skater who unveiled it on the ice in 1913. (There are times when the Will Ferrell film Blades of Glory seems less like a spoof than it is real life.) So we're due for another skating debacle, to gin up interest in Sochi and allow us to revive terms long dormant in the collective folk memory, like the axel jump and the triple lutz, a move described by US Figure Skating as "a toe-pick-assisted jump taken off from a back outside edge and landed on the back outside edge of the opposite foot", and named after Alois Lutz, the Austrian skater who unveiled it on the ice in 1913. (There are times when the Will Ferrell film Blades of Glory seems less like a spoof than it is real life.)
So far, there is a small upset coming out of the national championships on Sunday, the results of which traditionally determine the Olympic team, but not this year. Causing a scandal in what must be called the skating community, the Olympic committee eschewed Mirai Nagasu, who won bronze in the competition, for Ashley Wagner, who placed fourth. This was, according to skating commentators, a move designed to avoid the risk of a "medal shutout" in the skating, as happened in Vancouver in 2010. A medal shutout! How divine. It is, to non-skaters, absurd in the way that all pursuits taken to an extreme are absurd, and which is, of course, a large part of its appeal.So far, there is a small upset coming out of the national championships on Sunday, the results of which traditionally determine the Olympic team, but not this year. Causing a scandal in what must be called the skating community, the Olympic committee eschewed Mirai Nagasu, who won bronze in the competition, for Ashley Wagner, who placed fourth. This was, according to skating commentators, a move designed to avoid the risk of a "medal shutout" in the skating, as happened in Vancouver in 2010. A medal shutout! How divine. It is, to non-skaters, absurd in the way that all pursuits taken to an extreme are absurd, and which is, of course, a large part of its appeal.
So too, as with a lot of virtuosity, the freak show element of figure-skating, both in terms of the basic gravity-defying nature of the sport, and the youth of its participants. The youngest member picked for the Olympic team so far is 15-year-old Polina Edmunds, who, if she does well, promises to become the Shawn Johnson of the skating world and like the gymnast, invite speculation on the deformations that occur when children are required to train like adults.So too, as with a lot of virtuosity, the freak show element of figure-skating, both in terms of the basic gravity-defying nature of the sport, and the youth of its participants. The youngest member picked for the Olympic team so far is 15-year-old Polina Edmunds, who, if she does well, promises to become the Shawn Johnson of the skating world and like the gymnast, invite speculation on the deformations that occur when children are required to train like adults.
Tonya Harding made her first triple lutz at age 12, and her story is sad. After being stripped of her US championship title and banned from the sport in 1994, she tried professional boxing, appeared in a wrestling show, and featured in a sex tape released by her lousy ex-husband, Jeff Gillooly. Kerrigan meanwhile, won silver at the '94 Olympics and went on to have a successful career as a commentator and in ice shows such as Broadway on Ice and and the figure skating adaptation of Footloose. Tonya Harding made her first triple lutz at age 12, and her story is sad. After being stripped of her US championship title and banned from the sport in 1994, she tried professional boxing, appeared in a wrestling show, and featured in a sex tape released by her lousy ex-husband, Jeff Gillooly. Kerrigan meanwhile, won silver at the 94 Olympics and went on to have a successful career as a commentator and in ice shows such as Broadway on Ice and and the figure skating adaptation of Footloose.
On Sunday, one of the participants in the men's competition did his routine to the theme from Schindler's List, complete with hand gestures and head shakes that very much depicted man's inhumanity to man. Another did Riverdance. Personally, I'm waiting to see the routine to end all routines, which would be the story of Harding and Kerrigan on Ice, on ice. Maybe then, and only then, we can achieve closure and move on.On Sunday, one of the participants in the men's competition did his routine to the theme from Schindler's List, complete with hand gestures and head shakes that very much depicted man's inhumanity to man. Another did Riverdance. Personally, I'm waiting to see the routine to end all routines, which would be the story of Harding and Kerrigan on Ice, on ice. Maybe then, and only then, we can achieve closure and move on.
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