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Bowen mango theft awoke my nostalgic love of Australia's Big Things Bowen mango theft awoke my nostalgic love of Australia's Big Things
(6 months later)
A Big Thing went missing in Australia A Big Thing went missing in Australia this week. If you aren’t from there, you’d be well within your rights to think a Big Thing might be like the London Eye ferris wheel, or Russell Brand’s carefully back-combed barnet of yore. The Big Things I’m talking about aren’t as contrived as Russell’s bonce, but equally adored. Even if they do come in the shape of an oversized banana, pineapple, prawn and in one particularly stunning example, a long, dirt-coloured worm.
this week. If you aren’t from there, you’d be well within your rights to think For those who came in late, the town of Bowen’s biggest tourist draw-card, the Big Mango, got pinched from its perch in an evening raid. Though I hoped it would turn up in someone’s backyard under a tarpaulin next to some roadblock equipment and a witches hat, while the hangover the thieves woke up with would have been as big as the Mango they stole, it actually turned out to be a stunt by Nando’s.
a Big Thing might be like the London Eye ferris wheel, or Russell Brand’s I miss Big Things. Here in England, they have proper Big Things, like statues and monuments, not re-creations. Because they have a long history. Which is wonderful. In Australia however, we have big chooks, big guitars and big merinos. Just because. The thought of them makes me smile.
carefully back-combed barnet of yore. The Big Things I’m talking about aren’t as The role of the Big Thing was usually to represent the main industry of a small town. There’s a big Mallee bull on the main drag of Birchip, Victoria, where lots of cows reside. Obviously. What’s going for this bull is that its testicles are so large, they are probably photographed more than David Beckham’s in a Dolce and Gabanna undie campaign. The big koala in Horsham is significant because, well, they have trees. And if anyone took a childhood car trip from along the Pacific Highway to Queensland, they could see best three big things of them all: the Big Prawn, the Big Pineapple and the Big Banana. These all screamed tropical island paradise to all the kids about to lose their minds after 15 hours in the car while mum poured another cup of instant coffee out of the thermos to keep dad from falling asleep at the wheel because he’s dad and has a schedule as tight as he’s packed the boot with luggage.
contrived as Russell’s bonce, but equally adored. Even if they do come in the These days, we might giggle at these kitschy Big Things, but these outsize odes to local industry, lovingly fashioned out of chicken wire and cement, had a role to play. They gave each tiny town a picture to put on a postcard, which was then put on a teaspoon, a tea towel, a ruler or on a really long/oversized pencil. They also gave passers by a reason to stop there – apart from the public loos.
shape of an oversized banana, pineapple, prawn and in one particularly stunning It is clear that all is not well with the Big Things of Australia. Many have fallen in to disrepair because people don’t drive by so much anymore. In Taree, you can now buy a used car from the inside of a Big Oyster. Shuck me a Nissan! Big things were conceived at a time when family holidays were more likely to be a car drive to a regional caravan park somewhere than a two-week stint in a villa in Bali with butlers and a private pool.
example, a long, dirt-coloured worm. To compound the troubles, the new freeways that were built diverted traffic away from the small towns. The big things just weren’t big enough to lure hungry travellers from the generic service stations and drive-through takeaway joints that dot the freeways today.
For those who came in late, the town of Bowen’s Maybe we should work to save these oddities of our past. I’ll admit they’re far from great art, but they remind us that there once was a time when standing next to a big banana was enough to make us beam from ear to ear.
biggest tourist draw-card, the Big Mango, got pinched from its perch in an But then again no-one really needs postcards anymore either. That does make me sad.
evening raid. Though I hoped it would turn up in someone’s backyard under a tarpaulin next
to some roadblock equipment and a witches hat, while the hangover the thieves
woke up with would have been as big as the Mango they stole, it actually turned out to be a stunt by Nando’s.
I miss Big Things. Here in England, they
have proper Big Things, like statues and monuments, not re-creations. Because
they have a long history. Which is wonderful. In Australia however, we have
big chooks, big guitars and big merinos. Just because. The thought of them
makes me smile.
The role of the Big Thing was usually to represent the main industry of a small town. There’s a big Mallee
bull on the main drag of Birchip, Victoria, where lots of cows reside. Obviously.
What’s going for this bull is that its testicles are so large, they are
probably photographed more than David Beckham’s in a Dolce and Gabanna undie
campaign. The big koala in Horsham is significant because, well, they have
trees. And if anyone took a childhood car trip from along the Pacific Highway to Queensland, they could see best
three big things of them all: the Big Prawn, the Big Pineapple and the
Big Banana.
These all screamed tropical island paradise to all the kids about to
lose their
minds after 15 hours in the car while mum poured another cup of instant
coffee
out of the thermos to keep dad from falling asleep at the wheel because
he’s dad and has a schedule as tight as he’s packed the boot with
luggage.
These days, we might giggle at these
kitschy Big Things, but these outsize odes to local industry, lovingly fashioned
out of chicken wire and cement, had a role to play. They gave each tiny town a picture
to put on a postcard, which was then put on a teaspoon, a tea towel, a ruler or
on a really long/oversized pencil. They also gave passers by a reason to stop there – apart from the public
loos.
It is clear that all is not well with the Big
Things of Australia. Many have fallen in to disrepair because people don’t drive
by so much anymore. In Taree, you can now buy a used car from the inside of a
Big Oyster. Shuck me a Nissan! Big things were conceived at a time when family
holidays were more likely to be a car drive to a regional caravan park
somewhere than a two-week stint in a villa in Bali with butlers and a
private pool.
To compound the troubles, the new freeways that
were built diverted traffic away from the small towns. The big things just
weren’t big enough to lure hungry travellers from the generic service stations
and drive-through takeaway joints that dot the freeways today.
Maybe we should work to save these oddities
of our past. I’ll admit they’re far from great art, but they remind us that
there once was a time when standing next to a big banana was enough to make us
beam from ear to ear.
But then again no-one really needs
postcards anymore either. That does make me sad.