Why New Zealand's Maori King Tuheitia refuses to meet British royals
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Version 0 of 1. Name: King Tuheitia. Age: 58. Appearance: Itinerant weightlifting coach. Is that his real job? No. What is? Being New Zealand's Maori king. Sounds important. Kind of. He has no executive power and, in purely numerical terms, being Maori king is a bit like being lord mayor of Nottingham, only your subjects have fewer tattoos. I see. He did have a very important visit coming up next month, though. Prince William and his wife were coming to see him in New Zealand with their new son, Prince George. A visit from the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge would be an honour even for the mayor of Birmingham! But why "did have" and "were"? Because he turned them down. He what? He turned them down. Apparently he wasn't happy with the 90-minute slot that had been allocated to him. Oh well, that makes sense. New parents are the dullest people ever. I don't think I could stomach an hour and a half of: "The reflux seems to be settling down now ..." Actually, King Tuheitia wanted more time, not less. Wow! He must really like babies. Either that or he thinks a longer visit would better befit a person of his stature. I thought meeting the British royal family was the whole point of being a tribal king? And, vice versa, the whole point of the British royal family? It is, but King Tuheitia has shown himself to be a proud man ever since he was elected in 2006 after the death of his mother. He is "not some carnival act to be rolled out at the beck and call of anyone," according to his office. Sorry, "elected"? Yes, the Maori royal family is a sort of modern monarchy that elects its leaders, but people prefer it if they come from the established ruling clan. A bit like India or the United States. I see. The Maori invented their monarch in 1858 as a way to unite the tribes and give themselves a better chance of resisting the British invaders. "Resisting the British invaders", you say? That's right. You can't beat royal traditions. Do say: "Sorry. I've got chicken pox. I'm thinking of the baby." Don't say: "Let's Skype soon, though." |