A childhood of racial abuse has left me feeling paranoid and worthless
|
Version 0 of 1. I was born in the UK to south Indian parents in the mid 70s and grew up in a predominantly white market town. I experienced racial abuse from the age of five onwards that continued throughout my schooling. I never stood up for myself but as a shy little boy, ignored the issue and let it boil inside me, with regular tearful episodes. Fortunately the direct racial abuse stopped long ago but I'm now 40 and it still affects me. I have no confidence in myself, my work or my appearance. It is exacerbated by my current jobless status and struggle for money. This has effectively ruined any chance of a relationship and I still suffer from paranoia and self-hate. Has anyone suffered from similar experiences? How can I convince myself that I'm not worthless? • When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote to Private Lives asking for help, and may well view your comments here. Please consider especially how your words or the tone of your message could be perceived by someone in this situation, and be aware that comments which appear to be disruptive or disrespectful to the individual concerned will be removed. • If you would like fellow readers to respond to a dilemma of yours, send us an outline of the situation of about 150 words. For advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns. • All correspondence should reach us by Wednesday morning. Email: private.lives@theguardian.com (please don't send attachments). |