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| It's nice to look at naked humans but the Sun's page three is just plain weird | |
| (35 minutes later) | |
| In my deep, dark past, I was a magazine editor. Page three was the page on which everyone wanted to place an advertisement because it would always be read. | In my deep, dark past, I was a magazine editor. Page three was the page on which everyone wanted to place an advertisement because it would always be read. |
| Here in Britain, page three means breasts; a daily dose of boobs as soon as you open the paper. That prime advertising real estate is the home of bangers, baps, cans, norks – whatever you want to call them. | Here in Britain, page three means breasts; a daily dose of boobs as soon as you open the paper. That prime advertising real estate is the home of bangers, baps, cans, norks – whatever you want to call them. |
| I’ll be honest, as an outsider in such an evolved place as the UK, where laws including the option to marry whoever you like passes through parliament because it’s generally considered a non-issue (Australian politicians take note), seeing "page three girls" is just plain weird. Jarring. | I’ll be honest, as an outsider in such an evolved place as the UK, where laws including the option to marry whoever you like passes through parliament because it’s generally considered a non-issue (Australian politicians take note), seeing "page three girls" is just plain weird. Jarring. |
| I’m no prude. The women are gorgeous. It’s nice to look at naked humans – it’s something we’ve been doing since the dawn of time, and art galleries are a testament to that, too – but I’m not sure page three is still necessary. There’s this thing called the internet now. You can get boobs wherever, and whenever, you like. | I’m no prude. The women are gorgeous. It’s nice to look at naked humans – it’s something we’ve been doing since the dawn of time, and art galleries are a testament to that, too – but I’m not sure page three is still necessary. There’s this thing called the internet now. You can get boobs wherever, and whenever, you like. |
| I have some Australian guilt about the existence of page three. It wasn’t a thing in the UK until a little bloke called Rupert Murdoch took charge of the Sun, but I also see that it played a role of sorts at the time. Perhaps it shocked the outwardly prudish Brits (inwardly, we know this isn’t the case, you secretly raunchy lot) and signified a broader cultural change. For better or for worse is a difficult question to answer. | I have some Australian guilt about the existence of page three. It wasn’t a thing in the UK until a little bloke called Rupert Murdoch took charge of the Sun, but I also see that it played a role of sorts at the time. Perhaps it shocked the outwardly prudish Brits (inwardly, we know this isn’t the case, you secretly raunchy lot) and signified a broader cultural change. For better or for worse is a difficult question to answer. |
| The option for women to get their own back and perve at nude blokes also began in Australia. It was equal opportunity nudity. In the early 1970s, Australia’s Cleo magazine had a foldout male centrefold. I still remember seeing a young, bearded Jack Thompson lying on a chaise longue with a carefully placed hand over his nads and thinking this was pretty OK. That picture got passed around a lot during recess on the high school oval. Ladies (and gents), go and take a look when you’ve got some quiet time. You’re welcome. | The option for women to get their own back and perve at nude blokes also began in Australia. It was equal opportunity nudity. In the early 1970s, Australia’s Cleo magazine had a foldout male centrefold. I still remember seeing a young, bearded Jack Thompson lying on a chaise longue with a carefully placed hand over his nads and thinking this was pretty OK. That picture got passed around a lot during recess on the high school oval. Ladies (and gents), go and take a look when you’ve got some quiet time. You’re welcome. |
| The comedian/actor James Cordon took a page out of Cleo mag recently when he edited the Sun for a day to raise money for Sport Relief (I’m not sure what part of editing is sporty). He did the thing that any smart bloke would; he turned page three on its head and instead featured a pic of hotties from the office, all topless, all men. It was very funny and a good step towards making a change on the page, but, until I can whip off my top like a bloke can at the supermarket, and not get kicked out by security, it’s just not quite the same, is it? | The comedian/actor James Cordon took a page out of Cleo mag recently when he edited the Sun for a day to raise money for Sport Relief (I’m not sure what part of editing is sporty). He did the thing that any smart bloke would; he turned page three on its head and instead featured a pic of hotties from the office, all topless, all men. It was very funny and a good step towards making a change on the page, but, until I can whip off my top like a bloke can at the supermarket, and not get kicked out by security, it’s just not quite the same, is it? |
| And I’m not sure I need naked guys in my daily newspaper for reasons of balance. Testicles are great (like boobs, they’re the font of life and all that) but they aren’t the loveliest things to whip out while travelling on the Jubilee line to the city, in picture or real form. | And I’m not sure I need naked guys in my daily newspaper for reasons of balance. Testicles are great (like boobs, they’re the font of life and all that) but they aren’t the loveliest things to whip out while travelling on the Jubilee line to the city, in picture or real form. |
| But I don’t want the tut-tut police to think I’m siding with them, either. Banning stuff is the new outrage; the new slamming; the new get rid of everything that offends me because I don’t like it, and none of these actions seem as effective as they once did. It just adds to the noise. You can’t shut a door on something just because you don’t like it. A sanitised life is not always a healthy one. | But I don’t want the tut-tut police to think I’m siding with them, either. Banning stuff is the new outrage; the new slamming; the new get rid of everything that offends me because I don’t like it, and none of these actions seem as effective as they once did. It just adds to the noise. You can’t shut a door on something just because you don’t like it. A sanitised life is not always a healthy one. |
| The thing we do know is that some men and women like looking at breasts. But, do these people really enjoy looking at them while travelling on a packed train to High Barnet? Getting aroused on public transport is awkward at best. | The thing we do know is that some men and women like looking at breasts. But, do these people really enjoy looking at them while travelling on a packed train to High Barnet? Getting aroused on public transport is awkward at best. |
| It’s time to force the issue with the man up top, and give his readers the option to say whether they still want page three. I'm fairly certain they've already moved on. He’s the one who hasn’t. | It’s time to force the issue with the man up top, and give his readers the option to say whether they still want page three. I'm fairly certain they've already moved on. He’s the one who hasn’t. |