Football transfer rumours: Marco Verratti to Arsenal?

http://www.theguardian.com/football/2014/apr/08/football-transfer-window-marco-verrati-arsenal

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Tim Sherwood declared that he would be "up for the banter" when he took over at Tottenham and he proved that he was true to his word during the 5-1 win against Sunderland when he did not respond to Emmanuel Adebayor saluting him after his goal in the way most managers would, namely pointedly ignoring his attention-seeking and indicating that the striker might like to think about not making such a show of himself, but instead by saluting him back.

This was the being up for the banter in motion and showed that while some managers promise big things, Sherwood sees them through. But unfortunately that will not be enough to stop Tottenham replacing him with either Louis van Gaal or Mauricio Pochettino, neither of whom have ever said that they are up for the banter, so what's the point of them really?

Arsenal are planning a major summer rebuild, although whether that will involve the increasingly sad Arsène Wenger, who is not telling anyone if he plans to scrawl his name on a new contract, remains to be seen. Either way, Bacary Sagna is going to be off, Olivier Giroud may be allowed to move back to France, Lukas Podolski will be wowing Internazionale supporters with his predictable one-paced plodding and refusal to track back, Nicklas Bendtner will be driven down to the local scrapheap and told to wait there until someone, probably Harry Redknapp, picks him up, while Marco Verratti, Sardar Azmoun, Mario Mandzukic, Julian Draxler, Daniel Opare, Álvaro Morata and Josip Drmic are all on Arsenal's sprawling summer wishlist.

They're thinking big and no mistake, so just imagine the crushing disappointment in north London when their only signing is Papiss Cissé for £3m at 10.37pm on 31 August. But In Arsène We Trust (that Arsenal will collapse when the heat is on).

Toni Kroos is busy telling pals that he wants to leave Bayern Munich and join Manchester United, so desperate is he to play alongside Marouane Fellaini. Hopefully any medical will involve United testing his head. United also scouted Fiorentina's Juan Cuadrado for the 4,000th time on the weekend, Moyes maybe needing one more look to make up his mind on the striker, but face competition from Monaco for Sporting Lisbon's William Carvalho. Meanwhile, Nani wants to leave.

Newcastle will direct Hatem Ben Arfa towards the door marked "Please Never Show Your Face Round Here Again", while Sylvain Marveaux and Gabriel Obertan will be loaded into a giant cannon and fired into the sun, which seems a bit much.

Wigan and Crystal Palace are ready for a battle over the Brondby forward Simon Makienok. And it's going to be a big battle apparently, one that will rock the earth to its very core. Life will never be the same again once we are living in the post-Makienok era.