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Pistorius howls as he recalls moment he realised he shot girlfriend dead Pistorius howls as he recalls moment he realised he shot girlfriend dead
(about 5 hours later)
Oscar Pistorius broke down and howled wildly in court as he recalled the moment he realised that he had shot dead his girlfriend. Wild, agonising howls filled a normally sterile courtroom on Tuesday as the murder trial that has captured the world's attention like no other in recent years witnessed its most visceral drama yet.
"She wasn't breathing," the athlete sobbed, finally surrendering to his emotions and letting out deep, visceral moans and wails that stunned the packed courtroom and brought his murder trial to a halt. Oscar Pistorius suffered an emotional collapse on the witness stand and let out great, heaving sobs as he relived "the moment that everything changed", recounting for the first time the night that he shot dead his girlfriend.
The loud cries were echoed by Pistorius's family, who raced across the room to comfort him as he sat trembling on the witness stand, hands clasped to his eyes, all self-control lost. When the star athlete, who claims he mistook her for an intruder, described breaking down a door and finding the bloodied body of Reeva Steenkamp, the words "she wasn't breathing" erupted from him in a terrible cry. He yielded all self-possession and moaned loudly in the stunned courtroom. The trial came to a standstill and Pistorius's distraught brother and sister rushed across the room to console him.
It was a dramatic end to the second day of defence testimony in the case in Pretoria, South Africa. Pistorius, 27, had been giving a detailed account of what happened at his home in the early hours of 14 February 2013, when he shot four times through a locked toilet door and killed Reeva Steenkamp. It was a wrenching end to the 18th day of the trial in Pretoria, the capital of South Africa. Pistorius, the first amputee to run in the Olympics, had been struggling through his long-awaited account of the early hours of 14 February 2013, when he fired four times through a locked toilet door and killed Steenkamp.
He described how the couple retired to his bedroom after a quiet evening. He fell asleep but woke up and brought in two fans from his balcony, then heard a noise, he said. "That's the moment everything changed," he told the court, his voice shaking. The 27-year-old described how the couple had a quiet evening and retired to his bedroom, where he spoke to his cousin on the phone and she did yoga. He had fallen asleep but woke up at dead of night and brought in two fans from his balcony. Steenkamp was awake and asked him, "Can't you sleep, baba?" he said.
"I thought that there was a burglar that was gaining entry to my home." Then, in pitch dark, Pistorius believed he heard the sound of a window sliding open in the bathroom, he said. "'I thought that a burglar had got into the house. I think I initially just froze. I interpreted it as someone getting into the bathroom. That's the moment that everything changed. The first thing that ran through my mind was to protect Reeva and I and to get my gun."
The athlete said he had wanted to protect Steenkamp, who was still awake at the time. He said he had gone to get his 9mm pistol from beside his bed in the dark. "I whispered to Reeva to get down and phone the police," he continued. He said he grabbed a 9mm pistol from beneath his bed. "At that point I just wanted to put myself between the person who had gained access to my house and Reeva. I slowed down and had my firearm extended in front of me. I whispered to Reeva to get down and phone the police."
He said he then went into the passage without his prosthetic legs and, overcome with fear, started screaming, and shouted for Steenkamp to get to the floor. He then heard the toilet door slam, which confirmed there were one or more people there. He said he entered the passage leading to bathroom and was "overcome with fear. I screamed and shouted to the person to get out of the house. I didn't have my legs on. Just before I got to the passage I heard a door slam. It could have only been the toilet door. It confirmed that there was a person or people inside the bathroom."
Pistorius crept towards the toilet with the gun in front of him, he said falteringly. "I wasn't sure if someone was going to come out of the toilet and attack me … I heard a noise from inside the toilet, what I perceived to be someone coming out of the toilet. Before I knew it, I had fired four shots at the door." There were long pauses in his testimony as he steeled himself to go on. "I got to the entrance of the bathroom at the end of the passage where I stopped screaming. At this point I was certain that the intruders were in the bathroom … I wasn't sure if someone was going to come out of the toilet and attack me.
He said he screamed for Steenkamp to call the police then went back to the bedroom and realised she was not there. "I didn't want to believe it could be Reeva inside the toilet. I was still scared that someone was coming to attack us." "Then I heard a noise from inside the toilet, what I perceived to be someone coming out of the toilet. Before I knew it I had fired four shots at the door. My ears were still ringing – I couldn't hear anything – so I kept shouting for Reeva to phone the police. I was still scared to retreat because I wasn't sure if there was somebody on the ladder or someone in the toilet."
Eventually, he told the court, he went back to the toilet but found it locked. "I shouted from the balcony for help. Help! Help! Help! … I was screaming and shouting the whole time, crying out. I don't think I've ever screamed like that or cried like that." Pistorius said he then went back to the bedroom and realised that Steenkamp was no longer in bed. "I retreated to the corner of the bed while talking to Reeva. She didn't respond. I lifted myself onto the bed.
He tried and failed to kick the door down, he said, then attacked it with a cricket bat. "I felt if Reeva was there. I couldn't feel anything. I thought she had gone down on the floor. I kept my firearm pointing towards the passage. It dawned on me that it could be Reeva in the toilet. I jumped off the bed and tried to see if she was hiding behind the curtain.
"I hit the door three times and there was a big plank. I grabbed it with my hands and threw it into the bathroom. I saw the key inside and unlocked the door and flung it open. I said 'Oh Reeva,' and I cried." "I didn't want to believe that it could be Reeva in the toilet. I was still scared that someone was coming to attack us."
Pistorius had begun his second day of testimony with a description of how he met the vivacious law graduate and how they quickly grew closer. He said they had begun to plan a future together. He went back to the toilet and pushed the door but it was locked, he added. "I shouted from the balcony for help. Help! Help! Help!"
"The first six days we knew each other we called each other every day," he said. "I was very keen on Reeva. We started really seeing a future with each other." By now he was convulsed was in a panic, he said. "I was screaming and shouting at this stage. I was crying out for the Lord to help me. I was crying for Reeva … At that point all I wanted to do was just look inside to see if it was Reeva."
The star Paralympian cried as he read reams of transcribed cell phone messages he and Steenkamp sent each other during their four month relationship. In one typical message the aspiring actress affectionately said "I love you, boo". He dashed back to the bathroom again with a cricket bat and began to smash down the door of the toilet. "I hit the door three times and there was a big plank. I grabbed it with my hands and threw it into the bathroom."
Pistorius also sought to explain text messages in which Steenkamp said she was frightened about his behaviour. His voice choking as he approached the moment of realisation, he said: "Whilst I leant over the partition to get in, I saw the key, so I took it and I unlocked the door, and I flung the door open, and I threw it open. And I sat over Reeva and I cried and I don't know how long I was there for. She wasn't breathing."
"I'm scared of you sometimes and how you snap at me and how you will act towards me," Steenkamp said. Pistorius said: "I just think it was a bad hour in our relationship," describing a fight at an engagement party. When Pistorius comes to be cross-examined by the prosecution, he may be pressed on the last point, which contrasts with his statement at a bail application hearing last year in which he said: "Reeva was slumped over but alive."
Pistorius's initial evidence has focused on countering the prosecution's portrayal of him as reckless and obsessed with fast cars and guns. Many observers following his testimony on Tuesday also questioned why Steenkamp would not have called back to him when he was shouting. One of the police investigators in the prosecution case told the Guardian there are "lots of holes" in his story, adding: "He should come clean. He will feel better for it."
He began on Monday by issuing a tearful apology to the Steenkamp family. "I can promise that when she went to bed that night she felt loved," he said choking back tears. As Pistorius wailed in anguish, hands pressed to his eyes, the emotion was reflected in the faces of his family as his sister Aimee, uncle Arnold and aunt Lois all wept softly in the public gallery. Judge Thokozile Masipa swiftly intervened to call an adjournment.
Pistorius is likely to remain on the stand most of the week as his extensive testimony led by his defence team is expected to be followed by gruelling and lengthy cross-examination by the prosecution. Steenkamp's mother, June, who has remained stoical in recent days, had also broken down during the harrowing testimony and covered her face with her hand.
Cape Town-based criminal advocate William Booth, who is not participating in the trial, said much will depend on how Pistorius holds up in that second phase. "Oscar's evidence can only be properly assessed once he's been cross-examined," Booth said. After a brief adjournment, defence counsel Barry Roux returned to say his client's shirt was wet and he was in no state to continue.
In the five weeks since the trial began, Pistorius has appeared fragile and sometimes annoyed, frequently crying in court. He was physically sick when the gruesome details of Steenkamp's death were discussed. Earlier, the trial witnessed another extraordinary spectacle when Pistorius, known as the "blade runner", entered court having changed his suit and tie for a white sweater and black lycra shorts. He was asked by Roux to stand by the toilet door through which he shot. He then sat down in the packed courtroom, took off his prosthetics and approached the door with an uneven gait – appreciably shorter and arguably more vulnerable than he has been seen in public before.
His lawyer, Barry Roux, said he would call 14 to 17 witnesses in his case to testify on ballistics, urine emptying, damage to the toilet door, sound, and "disability and vulnerability". At another point, Pistorius slumped forward and appeared to retch as an autopsy photo of Steenkamp's bloodied head was accidentally shown to the court.
The trial is expected to resume on Wednesday and run until at least mid-May. He also described how he met Steenkamp and how they quickly grew closer. He said they had begun to plan a future together. "I was very keen on Reeva," he said. "We started really seeing a future with each other."
The Paralympic champion, who faces a possible life sentence, was in tears as he read WhatsApp messages that he and Steenkamp, a law graduate and model, had sent each other during their four-month relationship. In one, she sent him a cartoon image of a house with the caption: "He is the happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds peace in his home."
Pistorius also testified that he had got home on 13 February, hours before the killling, to find a Valentine's gift from Steenkamp that she told him not to open until the next day. When he eventually did take off its white wrapping paper, he found a picture frame with four photographs of the couple.
In an unfortunate slip, he said he had waited until 8 August to open the present because it would have been Steenkamp's birthday. In fact her birthday was 19 August.