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Football transfer rumours: Manchester United to sign Toni Kroos? Football transfer rumours: Manchester United to sign Toni Kroos?
(about 5 hours later)
In the time it takes you to read this, Rafael will have collected three yellow cards. The Brazilian's name appears in more books than Barbara Cartland, but not for much longer: because Manchester United are on the hunt for a new right-back. Unless David Moyes asks Wayne Rooney to play there, too, of course. But no, United want PSV's Santiago Arias, whom Moyes must try to distinguish from Santiago Elbiow. Parp.In the time it takes you to read this, Rafael will have collected three yellow cards. The Brazilian's name appears in more books than Barbara Cartland, but not for much longer: because Manchester United are on the hunt for a new right-back. Unless David Moyes asks Wayne Rooney to play there, too, of course. But no, United want PSV's Santiago Arias, whom Moyes must try to distinguish from Santiago Elbiow. Parp.
What's more, Manchester United blazer Ed Woodward stayed on in Munich last night to try to convince Toni Kroos to come back to Old Trafford with him. And if that doesn't lure the German, then nothing will. Exactly. Arsenal, meanwhile, are eyeing up Iker Casillas, as Arsène Wenger reckons his experience and mental fortitude could be the missing ingredient at the Emirates. That's Casillas' experience and mental fortitude, not Wenger's, which does not appear to have been enough to prevent his men cracking like Humpty Dumpty every time push has come to shove over the last nine years. Never mind, Arsenal could still win the FA Cup this term and that's suddenly a trophy again, isn't it, Arsène? What's more, Manchester United blazer Ed Woodward stayed on in Munich last night to try to convince Toni Kroos to come back to Old Trafford with him. And if that doesn't lure the German, then nothing will. Exactly. Arsenal, meanwhile, are eyeing up Iker Casillas, as Arsène Wenger reckons his experience and mental fortitude could be the missing ingredient at the Emirates. That's Casillas's experience and mental fortitude, not Wenger's, which does not appear to have been enough to prevent his men cracking like Humpty Dumpty every time push has come to shove over the past nine years. Never mind, Arsenal could still win the FA Cup this term and that's suddenly a trophy again, isn't it, Arsène?
Wenger will also buy a new striker this summer. You will remember that last season he tried to nab Luís Suarez and Gonzalo Higuaín, and in January he had a look around but couldn't find anyone good enough to dislodge Olivier Giroud, Nicklas Bendtner or Yaya Sanogo. Now, at last, he has found the answer: Burnley's Danny Ings, who, unfortunately, didn't exist in January. Wenger is also keeping an eye on Jay Rodriguez, who is, of course, out injured at the moment, though that may not discourage Arsenal. Nineteen-year-old Iranian hot shot Sardar Azmoun is also on Wenger's wish list, and Milan are also keen on the Rubin Kazan striker. If Milan get him, Arsenal will sign M'baye Niang, who is currently at Montpellier on loan from Milan. Wenger will also buy a new striker this summer. You will remember that last season he tried to nab Luis Suárez and Gonzalo Higuaín, and in January he had a look around but couldn't find anyone good enough to dislodge Olivier Giroud, Nicklas Bendtner or Yaya Sanogo. Now, at last, he has found the answer: Burnley's Danny Ings, who, unfortunately, didn't exist in January. Wenger is also keeping an eye on Jay Rodriguez, who is, of course, out injured at the moment, though that may not discourage Arsenal. Nineteen-year-old Iranian hot shot Sardar Azmoun is also on Wenger's wish list, and Milan are also keen on the Rubin Kazan striker. If Milan get him, Arsenal will sign M'baye Niang, who is currently at Montpellier on loan from Milan.
Paris Saint-Germain continue their quixotic quest to sign Cristiano Ronaldo. And their approach seems to be inspired by the old schoolboy strategy of getting a friend to tell a friend of the girl you fancy that, you know, you fancy her. So PSG intend appointing Luis Campos as director of football because he's friends with Jorge Mendes, who's Ronaldo's agent. Campos currently works for Monaco so PSG will have to spring him from there first. Next they will try to sign Ronaldo's mother and build an exact replica of his house beside their training ground.Paris Saint-Germain continue their quixotic quest to sign Cristiano Ronaldo. And their approach seems to be inspired by the old schoolboy strategy of getting a friend to tell a friend of the girl you fancy that, you know, you fancy her. So PSG intend appointing Luis Campos as director of football because he's friends with Jorge Mendes, who's Ronaldo's agent. Campos currently works for Monaco so PSG will have to spring him from there first. Next they will try to sign Ronaldo's mother and build an exact replica of his house beside their training ground.
Oh, and Belgium manager Marc Wilmots has reportedly told Eden Hazard to consider quitting Chelseas for Paris Saint-Germain, where he can move up a level. With timing like that, expect Wilmots to take Belgium to the World Cup around Christmas. Oh, and Belgium's manager, Marc Wilmots, has reportedly told Eden Hazard to consider quitting Chelsea for Paris Saint-Germain, where he can move up a level. With timing like that, expect Wilmots to take Belgium to the World Cup around Christmas.
Marseille, meanwhile, are poised to announce Marcelo Bielsa, as their new manager. Marseille, meanwhile, are poised to announce Marcelo Bielsa as their new manager.
Last, and possibly the least interesting snippet that has ever appeared in the Mill, Sunderland may make Alfred Ndiaye's loan move to Real Betis permanent.Last, and possibly the least interesting snippet that has ever appeared in the Mill, Sunderland may make Alfred Ndiaye's loan move to Real Betis permanent.