Ask a grown-up: why do people say things they don't mean?
|
Version 0 of 1. People might wish they'd never said something, and say they didn't mean it, but for the moment they said it, they did mean it. A human being is a mixture of different moods and selfs and characteristics. Some we find acceptable – the nice, kind parts – and others we sometimes disown, which tend to be selfish and greedy. As we get older, we push down the selfish parts so we appear nicer to other people. Unfortunately, if we don't listen to our feelings and work out what's making us feel bad, the part we don't like can burst out and make us say things we later regret. For example, your mother might want to make a sunny day perfect for everyone, but she's not admitting even to herself that she has needs, too, and wears herself out making a fabulous picnic. So when someone doesn't like her cupcakes, she snaps and says something horrible – but the next moment she's nice again and says she didn't mean it. • Are you 10 or younger and have a question that needs answering? Email ask.a.grownup@theguardian.com and we'll find an expert to look into it. |