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Are dungarees a sensible buy? Unless you're Alexa Chung, the answer is probably no Thinking of buying dungarees? Just don't expect them to transform you into Alexa Chung
(35 minutes later)
I've been thinking about buying a pair of dungarees this summer as I have read they're fashionable, but I'm a bit unsure. When I have tried them on in stores, my girlfriends have said I look good in them, but I don't really believe them. Are they a sensible purchase?Charlotte, by emailI've been thinking about buying a pair of dungarees this summer as I have read they're fashionable, but I'm a bit unsure. When I have tried them on in stores, my girlfriends have said I look good in them, but I don't really believe them. Are they a sensible purchase?Charlotte, by email
OK, before we deal with your Dungaree Problem, Charlotte, we need to talk about your Compliment Problem. Let us dissect this telling sentence: "My girlfriends say I look good in them, but I don't really believe them." There are three possible readings of this sentence. First, that it is what is succinctly known as a Humblebrag, in other words, a comment that sounds like self-deprecation but is actually just a way to brag, such as: "OMG, I am such a heifer I can hardly fit into this new dress my boyfriend Ryan Gosling bought for me." But I reckon we can dismiss this option because you don't strike me as a humblebragger, Charlotte. You strike me as a confused person, which brings us to option two. Namely, you don't trust your friends when they say you look nice specifically because they are your friends.OK, before we deal with your Dungaree Problem, Charlotte, we need to talk about your Compliment Problem. Let us dissect this telling sentence: "My girlfriends say I look good in them, but I don't really believe them." There are three possible readings of this sentence. First, that it is what is succinctly known as a Humblebrag, in other words, a comment that sounds like self-deprecation but is actually just a way to brag, such as: "OMG, I am such a heifer I can hardly fit into this new dress my boyfriend Ryan Gosling bought for me." But I reckon we can dismiss this option because you don't strike me as a humblebragger, Charlotte. You strike me as a confused person, which brings us to option two. Namely, you don't trust your friends when they say you look nice specifically because they are your friends.
I sort of understand this thinking – your friends wouldn't want to say anything that might hurt you, because they are your friends – but only to an extent. What is the point in being friends with these people if you don't trust them? To say that you can't trust those closest to you to tell you the honest truth is a mere half breath away from believing the mean comments of strangers online, and that, Charlotte, will get you in a right muddle. Believe your friends. They love you enough to come shopping for dungarees with you, for heavens' sake, and you chose them as friends because you, hopefully, respect them. Trust your friends.I sort of understand this thinking – your friends wouldn't want to say anything that might hurt you, because they are your friends – but only to an extent. What is the point in being friends with these people if you don't trust them? To say that you can't trust those closest to you to tell you the honest truth is a mere half breath away from believing the mean comments of strangers online, and that, Charlotte, will get you in a right muddle. Believe your friends. They love you enough to come shopping for dungarees with you, for heavens' sake, and you chose them as friends because you, hopefully, respect them. Trust your friends.
The third and possibly more plausible possibility is that you don't believe compliments from anyone. Here, again, our path to comprehension bifurcates and we have two options in front of us: you say you don't believe compliments because you think to do otherwise would be unspeakably arrogant, or you genuinely do not believe compliments. These two issues are not necessarily mutually exclusive but taking the former option first, this is an all-too-common belief among British folk in my experience, far more so than among my fellow Americans. Which is not to say that Americans don't suffer from it, particularly the women, because, unbelievably, too many women are still conditioned to think that accepting a compliment is unfeminine. The American comedian Amy Schumer satirised this brilliantly on her Comedy Central show, where a bunch of women stand around rejecting each other's compliments in the grossest of terms ("Look at your little dress!" "I look like a whore locked out of her apartment") until one of them finally accepts a compliment and the rest of them immediately self-implode in horror. Ladies, stop being so masochistic (and rude): accept the compliment.The third and possibly more plausible possibility is that you don't believe compliments from anyone. Here, again, our path to comprehension bifurcates and we have two options in front of us: you say you don't believe compliments because you think to do otherwise would be unspeakably arrogant, or you genuinely do not believe compliments. These two issues are not necessarily mutually exclusive but taking the former option first, this is an all-too-common belief among British folk in my experience, far more so than among my fellow Americans. Which is not to say that Americans don't suffer from it, particularly the women, because, unbelievably, too many women are still conditioned to think that accepting a compliment is unfeminine. The American comedian Amy Schumer satirised this brilliantly on her Comedy Central show, where a bunch of women stand around rejecting each other's compliments in the grossest of terms ("Look at your little dress!" "I look like a whore locked out of her apartment") until one of them finally accepts a compliment and the rest of them immediately self-implode in horror. Ladies, stop being so masochistic (and rude): accept the compliment.
Or there is the final option, which is that you don't believe any compliments from anyone, ever, because your self-esteem is that low. For this, seek professional help, because you are being horrible to yourself.Or there is the final option, which is that you don't believe any compliments from anyone, ever, because your self-esteem is that low. For this, seek professional help, because you are being horrible to yourself.
And we now, at last, get to the dungarees. Are they a "sensible" purchase? Of course not, as you well know. Dungarees are not something you're going to wear every day (and, to be honest, I'd wager that at least one quarter of the people who buy dungarees this summer will wear them precisely once before dumping them at the local charity shop). Dungarees, as the very wise and funny comedian Nat Luurtsema once wisely and funnily said, "are like a fancy hat, in that it's obvious you had a thoughtful moment that morning before you went, 'Yeah. I am wearing this'." There is no justification for wearing dungarees – just as there's no justification for wearing what I call a Statement Hat, ie a hat that has no practical purpose. You are only wearing said hat or dungarees for your own enjoyment and to make something of a statement to others, that statement being "I'm the kind of person who wears dungarees or statement hats."And we now, at last, get to the dungarees. Are they a "sensible" purchase? Of course not, as you well know. Dungarees are not something you're going to wear every day (and, to be honest, I'd wager that at least one quarter of the people who buy dungarees this summer will wear them precisely once before dumping them at the local charity shop). Dungarees, as the very wise and funny comedian Nat Luurtsema once wisely and funnily said, "are like a fancy hat, in that it's obvious you had a thoughtful moment that morning before you went, 'Yeah. I am wearing this'." There is no justification for wearing dungarees – just as there's no justification for wearing what I call a Statement Hat, ie a hat that has no practical purpose. You are only wearing said hat or dungarees for your own enjoyment and to make something of a statement to others, that statement being "I'm the kind of person who wears dungarees or statement hats."
All you need to decide, Charlotte, is why you want to buy these dungarees. Let me tell you a dungaree-ish story. A few years ago, a woman who we'll call Yeldah saw a picture of Alexa Chung in a magazine wearing what I guess is called a dungaree dress. Chung looked great in her dress, sort of like a modern version of 1970s Linda McCartney, and so Yeldah – despite being a sentient adult person who is allowed access to motor vehicles – thought: "Yes! If I buy a dungaree dress I will look exactly the same as Alexa Chung, even though I am not actually Alexa Chung and have a totally different body type!" Reader, Yeldah was me and I did not look like Alexa Chung in my hastily purchased dungaree dress. I didn't even look like Linda McCartney – I looked like an idiot whose body type (narrow of shoulders, broad of beam) is totally wrong for this dress. And lo, Oxfam soon found itself blessed with a once-worn dungaree dress.All you need to decide, Charlotte, is why you want to buy these dungarees. Let me tell you a dungaree-ish story. A few years ago, a woman who we'll call Yeldah saw a picture of Alexa Chung in a magazine wearing what I guess is called a dungaree dress. Chung looked great in her dress, sort of like a modern version of 1970s Linda McCartney, and so Yeldah – despite being a sentient adult person who is allowed access to motor vehicles – thought: "Yes! If I buy a dungaree dress I will look exactly the same as Alexa Chung, even though I am not actually Alexa Chung and have a totally different body type!" Reader, Yeldah was me and I did not look like Alexa Chung in my hastily purchased dungaree dress. I didn't even look like Linda McCartney – I looked like an idiot whose body type (narrow of shoulders, broad of beam) is totally wrong for this dress. And lo, Oxfam soon found itself blessed with a once-worn dungaree dress.
What I'm saying, Charlotte, is I know that dungarees are trendy at the moment and, by all means, give them a go. But don't buy them because you think they'll magically turn you into whatever celebrity was photographed wearing them this week. The only reason to get them is if you actually like the dungarees themselves, and feel comfortable in them. And for the love of Mary, learn to accept a compliment, yeah?What I'm saying, Charlotte, is I know that dungarees are trendy at the moment and, by all means, give them a go. But don't buy them because you think they'll magically turn you into whatever celebrity was photographed wearing them this week. The only reason to get them is if you actually like the dungarees themselves, and feel comfortable in them. And for the love of Mary, learn to accept a compliment, yeah?
Post your questions to Hadley Freeman, Ask Hadley, The Guardian, Kings Place, 90 York Way, London N1 9GU. Email ask.hadley@theguardian.com.Post your questions to Hadley Freeman, Ask Hadley, The Guardian, Kings Place, 90 York Way, London N1 9GU. Email ask.hadley@theguardian.com.