This article is from the source 'guardian' and was first published or seen on . It last changed over 40 days ago and won't be checked again for changes.

You can find the current article at its original source at http://www.theguardian.com/football/2014/may/28/the-rumour-mill-nicklas-bendtner-hull

The article has changed 2 times. There is an RSS feed of changes available.

Version 0 Version 1
Football transfer rumours: Nicklas Bendtner to Hull City? Football transfer rumours: Nicklas Bendtner to Hull City?
(about 1 hour later)
Mauricio Pochettino has only been in the Spurs hot seat a hot second now and already he has been struck down by a hot dose of Tottenhamtransferitis. Regular readers of the Mill will be more than familiar with this ailment, as well as its devastating affects on final league standings, but for first-timers, let the Mill do dictionary corner for you. It’s an abnormal condition that forces the mind of the manager of a particular north London club into making foolish purchases that the club do not need. In more layman’s terms, it’s like going coming home from the supermarket with a big bag of Haribo Starmix, a two-litre bottle of Dr Pepper and a family pack of Monster Munch, when all you needed was a pint of milk and some asparagus. In impending transfer terms, it means that Rio Ferdinand is to be sweet talked into snubbing QPR in favour of a starting role during Pochettino’s six months in charge of the club. One person who will almost certainly be missing out on the fun of those 182 or so days is Jan Vertonghen, who is set to become the first ever centre-back signed by Barcelona. Mauricio Pochettino has only been in the Spurs hot seat a hot second now and already he has been struck down by a hot dose of Tottenhamtransferitis. Regular readers of the Mill will be more than familiar with this ailment, as well as its devastating affects on final league standings, but for first-timers, let the Mill do dictionary corner for you. It’s an abnormal condition that forces the mind of the manager of a particular north London club into making foolish purchases that the club do not need. In more layman’s terms, it’s like going coming home from the supermarket with a big bag of Haribo Starmix, a two-litre bottle of Dr Pepper and a family pack of Monster Munch, when all you needed was a pint of milk and some asparagus. In impending transfer terms, it means that Rio Ferdinand is to be sweet-talked into snubbing QPR in favour of a starting role during Pochettino’s six months in charge of the club. One person who will almost certainly be missing out on the fun of those 182 or so days is Jan Vertonghen, who is set to become the first ever centre-back signed by Barcelona.
Meanwhile, Arsène Wenger is not happy about a lot of things – property prices in London, the rise of obesity among children, the way the cleaners at the Emirates hang the toilet paper in improper overhand fashion – but there is one thing that really keeps him awake at night and that is his lack of cover for Wojciech Szczesny. With Lukasz Fabianski expected to do one from Arsenal just as soon as he can, Wenger is in desperate need of someone who can throw balls at Szczesny during the warm-up and pretend to be happy sitting on the bench. Wenger and his scouts have decided that the former England international John Ruddy is just the man for the job. They have sent an envelope stuffed with sweets, fancy soaps and a cheque for £6m to convince Norwich to let him go. They probably had him at £6m. In other Arsenal news, those of you who thought that Nicklas ‘#Irunthiscity’ Bendtner had retired just to take ridiculously pompous photos of himself on Instagram will be surprised to learn that there are four – yes, four – clubs interested in actually having the Dane on their books. Yeah, the Mill too. Expect fans of Hull to be very disappointed, very soon. Though said disappointment may be eased by the signing of Robert Snodgrass. Meanwhile, Arsène Wenger is not happy about a lot of things – property prices in London, the rise of obesity among children, the way the cleaners at the Emirates hang the toilet paper in improper overhand fashion – but there is one thing that really keeps him awake at night and that is his lack of cover for Wojciech Szczesny. With Lukasz Fabianski expected to do one from Arsenal just as soon as he can, Wenger is in desperate need of someone who can throw balls at Szczesny during the warm-up and pretend to be happy sitting on the bench. Wenger and his scouts have decided that the former England international John Ruddy is just the man for the job. They have sent an envelope stuffed with sweets, fancy soaps and a cheque for £6m to convince Norwich to let him go. They probably had him at £6m. In other Arsenal news, those of you who thought that Nicklas “#Irunthiscity” Bendtner had retired just to take ridiculously pompous photos of himself on Instagram will be surprised to learn that there are four – yes, four – clubs interested in actually having the Dane on their books. Yeah, the Mill too. Expect fans of Hull to be very disappointed, very soon. Though said disappointment may be eased by the signing of Robert Snodgrass.
Finally, Pepe Reina has been on the blower to Brendan Rodgers asking if there is any danger of him coming back to Liverpool from Napoli. Rodgers will stop laughing long enough to tell him that he hasn’t heard anything quite that funny since the priest told him that one about the pope and Raquel Welch on the lifeboat. Minutes after that call, Rodgers was wiping away a tear – ‘those aren’t buoys!’ – when the phone rang again. This time it was Mark Hughes. The Stoke boss wanted to know how much Oussama Assaidi would cost if he were interested in making the player’s move to the Potteries a permanent one. Rodgers stopped and thought about it for a second. ‘Seven big ones,’ he said. It was Mark’s turn to laugh. Finally, Pepe Reina has been on the blower to Brendan Rodgers asking if there is any danger of him coming back to Liverpool from Napoli. Rodgers stopped laughing long enough to tell him that he hasn’t heard anything quite that funny since the priest told him that one about the pope and Raquel Welch on the lifeboat. Minutes after that call, Rodgers was wiping away a tear – “those aren’t buoys!” – when the phone rang again. This time it was Mark Hughes. The Stoke boss wanted to know how much Oussama Assaidi would cost if he were interested in making the player’s move to the Potteries a permanent one. Rodgers stopped and thought about it for a second. “Seven big ones,” he said. It was Mark’s turn to laugh.