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Swims, shaves and naked prancing – journalists who made rash promises Swims, shaves and naked prancing – journalists who made rash promises
(35 minutes later)
“Reading the story in last week’s edition about Davy Wathne’s pledge to walk from Bergen to Oslo, and bearing in mind Piers Morgan’s similar promise to quit Twitter if Liverpool were to finish above Arsenal in the season just concluded, I wondered if there were any more stories of journalists making rash promises to perform unlikely feats if given football results were to occur?” wrote Justin Horton last week.“Reading the story in last week’s edition about Davy Wathne’s pledge to walk from Bergen to Oslo, and bearing in mind Piers Morgan’s similar promise to quit Twitter if Liverpool were to finish above Arsenal in the season just concluded, I wondered if there were any more stories of journalists making rash promises to perform unlikely feats if given football results were to occur?” wrote Justin Horton last week.
Surprisingly, given journalists are always a reticent bunch when it comes to offering confident opinions on these things, it has happened a few times. After Alan Pardew’s appointment at Newcastle, the Daily Telegraph’s Henry Winter promised he would swim the Tyne if Mike Ashley offered his man any sort of concrete backing, a promise he kept after Pardew was given an eight-year contract in 2012.Surprisingly, given journalists are always a reticent bunch when it comes to offering confident opinions on these things, it has happened a few times. After Alan Pardew’s appointment at Newcastle, the Daily Telegraph’s Henry Winter promised he would swim the Tyne if Mike Ashley offered his man any sort of concrete backing, a promise he kept after Pardew was given an eight-year contract in 2012.
“The first two-thirds were a doddle and I thought ‘This is OK, a nice gentle paddle across the Tyne,’” Winter said. “But then suddenly the current hit and it was like the fast lane of the motorway.” “The first two-thirds were a doddle and I thought: ‘This is OK, a nice gentle paddle across the Tyne,’” Winter said. “But then suddenly the current hit and it was like the fast lane of the motorway.”
He made it over the river, where he was greeted by a Newcastle towel and a note from Alan Pardew, and the swim raised money for the Sir Bobby Robson Foundation, so it all turned out rather nicely in the end.He made it over the river, where he was greeted by a Newcastle towel and a note from Alan Pardew, and the swim raised money for the Sir Bobby Robson Foundation, so it all turned out rather nicely in the end.
James Straughan has another example: “In 1999, ex-player turned broadcaster Bernie Slaven committed to baring his backside in a shop window if Middlesbrough beat Manchester United at Old Trafford. Both the Middlesbrough victory (3-2) and the shop display occurred.”James Straughan has another example: “In 1999, ex-player turned broadcaster Bernie Slaven committed to baring his backside in a shop window if Middlesbrough beat Manchester United at Old Trafford. Both the Middlesbrough victory (3-2) and the shop display occurred.”
“Not sure whether he counts as a journalist,” cautiously begins Ian Lucas, “But MOTD’s Mark Lawrenson said at the start of the 2001-02 season that he would shave off his trademark moustache should Bolton Wanderers stay in the Premier League that season. The inevitable of course happened, and reportedly due to his wife’s approval of a hair-free top lip, he has kept the look ever since.”“Not sure whether he counts as a journalist,” cautiously begins Ian Lucas, “But MOTD’s Mark Lawrenson said at the start of the 2001-02 season that he would shave off his trademark moustache should Bolton Wanderers stay in the Premier League that season. The inevitable of course happened, and reportedly due to his wife’s approval of a hair-free top lip, he has kept the look ever since.”
And from Marcos Garcia: “In 1980, Burnley dropped into the third tier of the football league for the first time in their history. Local sports editor Peter Higgs was so confident the Clarets would bounce straight back that he vowed to walk to their first away game of the following season if they failed to finish in the top six. Naturally, Burnley finished eighth, so when the fixture list was announced for the 1981-82 season, Peter was no doubt dismayed to hear Burnley’s first away game was at Gillingham, a trek of over 260 miles. Still, he remained true to his word and walked the whole way there, raising money for charity on the way. Sadly, Burnley were unable to provide any comfort for his aching feet as they were comfortably beaten 3-1.”And from Marcos Garcia: “In 1980, Burnley dropped into the third tier of the football league for the first time in their history. Local sports editor Peter Higgs was so confident the Clarets would bounce straight back that he vowed to walk to their first away game of the following season if they failed to finish in the top six. Naturally, Burnley finished eighth, so when the fixture list was announced for the 1981-82 season, Peter was no doubt dismayed to hear Burnley’s first away game was at Gillingham, a trek of over 260 miles. Still, he remained true to his word and walked the whole way there, raising money for charity on the way. Sadly, Burnley were unable to provide any comfort for his aching feet as they were comfortably beaten 3-1.”
Finally, one from Alun Thomas: “In France, Canal+ weathergirl Doria Tillier said she’d do the forecast naked if France overcame Ukraine’s 2-0 first leg play-off lead and qualified for this summer’s World Cup. The subsequent forecast was filmed, from a distance, in the small village of Poil which apparently translates to ‘stark naked’.”Finally, one from Alun Thomas: “In France, Canal+ weathergirl Doria Tillier said she’d do the forecast naked if France overcame Ukraine’s 2-0 first leg play-off lead and qualified for this summer’s World Cup. The subsequent forecast was filmed, from a distance, in the small village of Poil which apparently translates to ‘stark naked’.”
SECOND IS JUST FIRST LOSERSECOND IS JUST FIRST LOSER
“In last week’s piece you mentioned how Benfica managed to come second in three competitions last season,” writes Matt Cooke. “This is nothing compared to the unfortunate streak they extended by losing the Europa League final, as they have now lost their last eight European finals. What other impressive cup final losing streaks are out there? And can any of them beat Benfica?”“In last week’s piece you mentioned how Benfica managed to come second in three competitions last season,” writes Matt Cooke. “This is nothing compared to the unfortunate streak they extended by losing the Europa League final, as they have now lost their last eight European finals. What other impressive cup final losing streaks are out there? And can any of them beat Benfica?”
Nobody can ‘beat’ Benfica’s streak, or indeed number of lost European finals. The next on the list is, perhaps-surprisingly-but-maybe-not-when-you-think-about-it, Juventus, who have been defeated in six finals. Of course they can dry their eyes on the ribbons of the six European trophies they have won, so one imagines they won’t be dwelling on it too much. Nobody can “beat” Benfica’s streak, or indeed number, of lost European finals. The next on the list is, perhaps-surprisingly-but-maybe-not-when-you-think-about-it, Juventus, who have been defeated in six finals. Of course they can dry their eyes on the ribbons of the six European trophies they have won, so one imagines they won’t be dwelling on it too much.
Despite their barren years and run of final failure, Benfica do of course have a couple of European Cups to fill their trophy cabinet, so perhaps they shouldn’t be regarded as the biggest Euro chumps. Several sides have played in and lost one, but Rapid Vienna and Athletic Bilbao (and now Atlético Madrid) are both 0 for two, making them the least successful sides in continental finals.Despite their barren years and run of final failure, Benfica do of course have a couple of European Cups to fill their trophy cabinet, so perhaps they shouldn’t be regarded as the biggest Euro chumps. Several sides have played in and lost one, but Rapid Vienna and Athletic Bilbao (and now Atlético Madrid) are both 0 for two, making them the least successful sides in continental finals.
HEROIC TRAGEDYHEROIC TRAGEDY
“I was watching Benfica v Manchester United, in the 1968 European Cup final,” begins David Cormack. “After Graça scores, the commentator mentions that ‘Just as he turned off the electricity during the incident a few years ago in their bath he has saved them now in this cup final.’ Can the Knowledge cast any light on what this incident was?” “I was watching Benfica v Manchester United, in the 1968 European Cup final,” begins David Cormack. “After Graça scores, the commentator mentions: ‘Just as he turned off the electricity during the incident a few years ago in their bath he has saved them now in this cup final.’ Can the Knowledge cast any light on what this incident was?”
A partly tragic, partly heroic tale this. Graça, a midfielder who netted the equaliser to take the 1968 final into extra-time, joined Benfica after helping Portugal to third-place in the 1966 World Cup and helped them to the league title in his first season, but it was a campaign tainted by an incident in the December of that season. A partly tragic, partly heroic tale this. Graça, a midfielder who netted the equaliser to take the 1968 final into extra time, joined Benfica after helping Portugal to third-place in the 1966 World Cup and helped them to the league title in his first season, but it was a campaign tainted by an incident in the December of that season.
After training one day Graça and a number of team-mates, including Eusebio and defender Luciano Fernandes, were trying out a new state-of-the-art jacuzzi that featured an electrically-powered hydro-massage system. After 20 minutes of enjoying the bubbles, the circuits powering the jacuzzi shorted and sent pulses of electricity through the water, shocking all the players there. Graça, despite being in the jacuzzi himself, managed to get out and use his skills as a former electrician to disconnect the circuit and prevent half the team perishing. After training one day Graça and a number of team-mates, including Eusébio and defender Luciano Fernandes, were trying out a new state-of-the-art jacuzzi that featured an electrically-powered hydro-massage system. After 20 minutes of enjoying the bubbles, the circuits powering the jacuzzi shorted and sent pulses of electricity through the water, shocking all the players there. Graça, despite being in the jacuzzi himself, managed to get out and use his skills as a former electrician to disconnect the circuit and prevent half the team perishing.
Eusebio and Joaquim Santana escaped with burns and three other players lost consciousness before eventually recovering, but Luciano wasn’t as lucky. He was apparently the only player fully immersed in the water, and the power of the current was such that he died instantly, but if it wasn’t for Graça then an even bigger tragedy could have occurred. Eusébio and Joaquim Santana escaped with burns and three other players lost consciousness before eventually recovering, but Luciano wasn’t as lucky. He was apparently the only player fully immersed in the water, and the power of the current was such that he died instantly, but if it wasn’t for Graça then an even bigger tragedy could have occurred.
The misfortune at Benfica that season didn’t end there, after defender Augusto Silva suffered a stroke while on a friendly tour to Chile a few months later. Fortunately he recovered despite being in a coma for a few days, although he never played football again, and the club dedicated their eventual title win to their two players. The misfortune at Benfica that season didn’t end there, after the defender Augusto Silva suffered a stroke while on a friendly tour to Chile a few months later. Fortunately he recovered despite being in a coma for a few days, although he never played football again, and the club dedicated their eventual title win to their two players.
With thanks to Cláudio Gameiro for the translation, Graça himself takes up the story, from shortly before his death two years ago: “I was fast and decisive. I turned off the electricity box. Those who were at the bottom of the tub were the ones that most suffered, like Carmo Pais and Mata da Silva. Camolas, for instance, ran to the football pitch. So you can see, the scare it was. Still today when he sees me, Mata da Silva makes question of introducing me as the man who saved his life. He and Carmo Pais suffered a lot and had to lay down in the floor for about two hours, being checked out by the doctors.” With thanks to Cláudio Gameiro for the translation, Graça himself takes up the story, from shortly before his death two years ago: “I was fast and decisive. I turned off the electricity box. Those who were at the bottom of the tub were the ones that most suffered, like Carmo Pais and Mata da Silva. Camolas, for instance, ran to the football pitch. So you can see, the scare it was. Still today when he sees me, Mata da Silva makes the point of introducing me as the man who saved his life. He and Carmo Pais suffered a lot and had to lay down in the floor for about two hours, being checked out by the doctors.”
BUY! BUY! BUY!BUY! BUY! BUY!
Holiday reading in the shape of More Knowledge, a collection of some of the weirdest and most wonderful questions answered in this column over the years, available from the Guardian BookshopHoliday reading in the shape of More Knowledge, a collection of some of the weirdest and most wonderful questions answered in this column over the years, available from the Guardian Bookshop
KNOWLEDGE ARCHIVEKNOWLEDGE ARCHIVE
“There’s a story doing the rounds at my local that Blackpool once resorted to using a flamethrower to thaw out their frozen pitch,” asked Bill Winkles back when we all had our own teeth and hair in 2007. “Would I be right to think it’s total guff?”“There’s a story doing the rounds at my local that Blackpool once resorted to using a flamethrower to thaw out their frozen pitch,” asked Bill Winkles back when we all had our own teeth and hair in 2007. “Would I be right to think it’s total guff?”
Well Bill, it’s not quite true, but it is closer to reality than you might imagine. The winter of 1962-63 was extremely harsh, and Blackpool suffered more than most as their pitch completely froze over to the point where they couldn’t play a single home game between December 15 and March 2. Some players even took to ice skating on the pitch, as revealed by the following gem, dug out of the West Lancashire Evening Gazette’s archives by Seasiders historian Gerry Wolstenholme: Well Bill, it’s not quite true, but it is closer to reality than you might imagine. The winter of 1962-63 was extremely harsh, and Blackpool suffered more than most as their pitch completely froze over to the point where they couldn’t play a single home game between 15 December and 2 March. Some players even took to ice skating on the pitch, as revealed by the following gem, dug out of the West Lancashire Evening Gazette’s archives by Seasiders historian Gerry Wolstenholme:
“At Bloomfield Road Jimmy Armfield and Tony Waiters ice skated on the pitch on January 8 1963 and two days later they were joined by Barrie Martin, ‘Mandy’ Hill and two other players. On January 29 1963 Blackpool used a disc harrow to try to get the game against West Ham United played on February 2 1963 but that too proved ineffective and on January 30 1963 the players swept a heavy fall of snow from the pitch in a vain hope that it would be clear underneath, but the ice - one to four inches thick - was ‘as formidable as ever’.” “At Bloomfield Road Jimmy Armfield and Tony Waiters ice skated on the pitch on January 8 1963 and two days later they were joined by Barrie Martin, ‘Mandy’ Hill and two other players. On January 29 1963 Blackpool used a disc harrow to try to get the game against West Ham United played on February 2 1963 but that too proved ineffective and on January 30 1963 the players swept a heavy fall of snow from the pitch in a vain hope that it would be clear underneath, but the ice – one to four inches thick – was ‘as formidable as ever’.”
But it was actually Norwich who attempted, unsuccessfully, to defrost their playing surface with fire. Their scheduled FA Cup third-round tie at home to Blackpool had been postponed 11 times, and, as the same piece of archive reveals, they were willing to try just about anything by the end. “In an attempt to get the game played, the Carrow Road pitch was treated with flamethrowers on January 22 1963 as, according to a Norwich spokesman, ‘a last desperate effort’. However they ‘served no purpose whatsoever’ for ‘as fast as the ice melted it froze again’. An icebreaker was also used but it too proved ineffective.” But it was actually Norwich who attempted, unsuccessfully, to defrost their playing surface with fire. Their scheduled FA Cup third-round tie at home to Blackpool had been postponed 11 times and, as the same piece of archive reveals, they were willing to try just about anything by the end. “In an attempt to get the game played, the Carrow Road pitch was treated with flamethrowers on January 22 1963 as, according to a Norwich spokesman, ‘a last desperate effort’. However they ‘served no purpose whatsoever’ for ‘as fast as the ice melted it froze again’. An icebreaker was also used but it too proved ineffective.”
CAN YOU HELP?CAN YOU HELP?
“As I saw a formidable display by the Arsenal against Norwich on the final day of the season I had a sense of deja vu,” says Fredrick Johnston. “If I remember correctly, it was Arsenal that also consigned Wigan to the Championship last season. Are there any other teams out there that have had a streak of confirming a team’s relegation?”“As I saw a formidable display by the Arsenal against Norwich on the final day of the season I had a sense of deja vu,” says Fredrick Johnston. “If I remember correctly, it was Arsenal that also consigned Wigan to the Championship last season. Are there any other teams out there that have had a streak of confirming a team’s relegation?”
“Having read that David Ginola’s was 33 at the time of his transfer from Tottenham to Aston Villa for £3m in July 2000 it got me thinking, muses Shakir, from somewhere in Portsmouth. “What is the most expensive transfer of all time for someone that was in their 30s?” “Having read that David Ginola was 33 at the time of his transfer from Tottenham to Aston Villa for £3m in July 2000 it got me thinking,” muses Shakir, from somewhere in Portsmouth. “What is the most expensive transfer of all time for someone that was in their 30s?”
“Recent comment on how many games Wigan Athletic played during the season that has just ended,” wonders Steve McGiffen, “had me wondering if any team has played more than my own beloved Boro did in 2005-6 on our way to the Uefa Cup Final, FA Cup semi-finals, League Cup quarter finals, and a heady 14th place in the Premier League. Somebody will have for (fairly) sure, but it wasn’t Wigan, who turned out a relatively slack 62 times.” “Recent comment on how many games Wigan Athletic played during the season that has just ended,” wonders Steve McGiffen, “had me wondering if any team has played more than my own beloved Boro did in 2005-06 on our way to the Uefa Cup Final, FA Cup semi-finals, League Cup quarter finals, and a heady 14th place in the Premier League. Somebody will have for (fairly) sure, but it wasn’t Wigan, who turned out a relatively slack 62 times.”
AND THE WORLD CUP EDITION...AND THE WORLD CUP EDITION...
“Have England ever opened a World Cup tournament with the starting 11 consisting of players with the squad numbers of 1-11?” asks Matt A. “If so, what was the outcome?”“Have England ever opened a World Cup tournament with the starting 11 consisting of players with the squad numbers of 1-11?” asks Matt A. “If so, what was the outcome?”
“What’s the longest gap between World Cup appearances for a player?” wonders R Reisman “Has anyone ever missed two tournaments and then come back to play again?”“What’s the longest gap between World Cup appearances for a player?” wonders R Reisman “Has anyone ever missed two tournaments and then come back to play again?”
“A bout of recent procrastination led me to the Wikipedia page of Anthony Seric, a Croatian defender who was picked in three separate World Cup squads (1998, 2002 and 2006) without ever managing to get onto the pitch,” writes Sam Carney. “Can any other player match the unfortunate Seric’s ‘run’?” “A bout of recent procrastination led me to the Wikipedia page of Anthony Seric, a Croatia defender who was picked in three separate World Cup squads (1998, 2002 and 2006) without ever managing to get on to the pitch,” writes Sam Carney. “Can any other player match the unfortunate Seric’s ‘run’?”
Send your questions and answers to the lovely people at knowledge@theguardian.comSend your questions and answers to the lovely people at knowledge@theguardian.com