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You can find the current article at its original source at http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/may/29/debutante-balls-are-about-tradition-and-part-of-tradition-is-changing-it
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| Version 1 | Version 2 |
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| Debutante balls are about tradition – and part of tradition is changing it | Debutante balls are about tradition – and part of tradition is changing it |
| (3 months later) | |
| Nine years ago, I put on a white lace and silk dress handmade by my great-grandmother and was presented to the local priest with my partner in a tux. We then danced the Pride of Erin and later on had dinner in the events room of the RSL with my family and friends. I was not a 17-year-old bride, but taking part in the grand Australian country kid tradition of attending my debutante ball. | Nine years ago, I put on a white lace and silk dress handmade by my great-grandmother and was presented to the local priest with my partner in a tux. We then danced the Pride of Erin and later on had dinner in the events room of the RSL with my family and friends. I was not a 17-year-old bride, but taking part in the grand Australian country kid tradition of attending my debutante ball. |
| The dress I wore was designed and made for my aunt for her "deb" (as we call it) by my Mimi in the 1970s, and worn again by my other aunt on her wedding day in the 1990s. I wore it to my deb in 2005, and it was worn again by my younger sisters to their own balls. Valyrian swords in Game Of Thrones have shorter shelf lives. | The dress I wore was designed and made for my aunt for her "deb" (as we call it) by my Mimi in the 1970s, and worn again by my other aunt on her wedding day in the 1990s. I wore it to my deb in 2005, and it was worn again by my younger sisters to their own balls. Valyrian swords in Game Of Thrones have shorter shelf lives. |
| It was one of the best nights of my life. I went with one of my best mates, got my make-up and hair done (terribly, all part of the tradition), and danced with my father and grandfather, who both declared I was terrible on the dancefloor. | It was one of the best nights of my life. I went with one of my best mates, got my make-up and hair done (terribly, all part of the tradition), and danced with my father and grandfather, who both declared I was terrible on the dancefloor. |
| To use a sweet and antiquated phrase, it genuinely was part of a “coming of age” tradition, along with other country rites of passage – like getting stoned at the campdraft (look it up, city kids) and being caught wagging school by your own principal, spotting you changing out of your school uniform and jumping the fence. | |
| These little nods to being completely unoriginal while thinking you are utterly unique see you walking in the same footprints of your parents and your grandparents, which is important. Tradition connects you to those who have come before you and those who will come after you in a way that helps you get perspective about your insignificance in the grand scheme of things. It also provides a great deal of comfort. | These little nods to being completely unoriginal while thinking you are utterly unique see you walking in the same footprints of your parents and your grandparents, which is important. Tradition connects you to those who have come before you and those who will come after you in a way that helps you get perspective about your insignificance in the grand scheme of things. It also provides a great deal of comfort. |
| Of course, tradition can also be narrow-minded and limiting. Kiana Prewett, a fellow country kid, has learnt this in a rather brutal fashion when her school council told her she could not go to the deb with her best friend, a girl. The reason: “it’s not tradition”. | Of course, tradition can also be narrow-minded and limiting. Kiana Prewett, a fellow country kid, has learnt this in a rather brutal fashion when her school council told her she could not go to the deb with her best friend, a girl. The reason: “it’s not tradition”. |
| Well, some might argue that the true tradition of the debutante ball is to present a teenage girl to society for the first time as she embarks on a series of balls or social outings to find a suitable husband. But I am certain most of the parents at my deb were not hoping for their daughter to be married by the end of the next season. I’m sure that when they were toasting keeping their kids relatively intact for this long and reminiscing about their own deb balls, they were not eyeing up girls as potential partners for their sons, wondering quietly if she really did have the right to wear white. And that would have been true tradition. | |
| “Tradition is important but at the same time you need to change with society,” Kiana said. It seems like an obvious sentiment, but as always there are still people that need reminding. | “Tradition is important but at the same time you need to change with society,” Kiana said. It seems like an obvious sentiment, but as always there are still people that need reminding. |
| We take part in traditions to learn something about ourselves –in my case, that I am not very good at the Pride of Erin – to ease into critical stages of our life and to bind our small communities together. Anthropologist Nelson H Graburn said: | We take part in traditions to learn something about ourselves –in my case, that I am not very good at the Pride of Erin – to ease into critical stages of our life and to bind our small communities together. Anthropologist Nelson H Graburn said: |
| Tradition was the name given to those cultural features which, in situations of change, were to be continued to be handed on, thought about, preserved and not lost. | Tradition was the name given to those cultural features which, in situations of change, were to be continued to be handed on, thought about, preserved and not lost. |
| But traditions do change, evolve to fit the times, moulded to something we can relate to along with our parents, even if it's not exactly the same. | But traditions do change, evolve to fit the times, moulded to something we can relate to along with our parents, even if it's not exactly the same. |
| Kiana’s school has relented, as it should. Part of tradition is changing it. | Kiana’s school has relented, as it should. Part of tradition is changing it. |