'Why haven't you booked me for the Pyramid stage?': Michael Eavis answers famous festivalgoers' questions
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Version 0 of 1. In the cluttered, gnome-size Worthy Farm office, adorned on the outside with a sign advertising the farm's herd of Holstein-Friesian cattle, a hanging basket, and an original Banksy picture of a parachuting cow that no one has found time to put away somewhere safe, Michael Eavis is energetically organising the 32nd Glastonbury festival. This morning he was talking to a man building a 30ft high puppet on site ("incredible!"), this afternoon he's meeting Billy Bragg ("Better listen to some of his records before he gets here!"). With the constant arrival of lorries delivering equipment, the half-built site in Somerset's Vale of Avalon currently looks like the HGV park of a motorway service station in Westeros, but he likes it like that. The two or three weeks leading up to the start is his favourite time, he says, because he loves to see the people coming back, and to hear their new ideas. "I like new ideas, because we try to make it different every year, you see. I always fear that one day the tickets won't sell, so for me it's a matter of life or death to get decent artists here. We try like hell." At 78, clad in a festival-logo fleece, denim shorts and hiking sandals, he credits his spryness and energy to daily 45-minute lunchtime naps. The thing that really strikes you on meeting him is his deep West Country farmer-iness, and sense of bemusement at what he created. Answering our questions, he will sometimes append an anecdote with an exclamatory question. "Don't you think it's strange?" he will ask after telling a story about hippies, say, or noting that farmed landscapes seem to calm people down. "It's all quite extraordinary really, isn't it?" Why haven't you booked me to perform on the Pyramid Stage? I've been going to Glasto for decades, it's in me blood. I've stood in the rain, paper cup of cider in hand, covered in mud, watching some indie twiddlers fiddling with their ear monitors, staring at their setlists, and thought: "I would be better value." If you can book U2, Coldplay, Beyoncé, Rolling Stones and Metallica to play a jester's-hat-wearing jugglers' jamboree, then you must have a good sense of humour. Bill Bailey [Laughing] He's comedy, isn't he? We don't do comedy on the main stage. I mean, not deliberately! (laughs again). There's a lot of funny stuff that goes on up at that main stage, mind you. The Fall in 1992 were the funniest band we've ever had. I'd put them on before James, you see, but they thought they were much better than James, and so they spent their whole set insulting me. Mark E Smith was so angry. He was saying what a twit I was, and that I didn't know a thing about music and that I'd got it all wrong. All quite unfounded of course! Where do your politics come from? Is there a tradition of radicalism in your family? Billy Bragg Yes I suppose my politics do come from my family, and there is that tradition. I had an uncle who was a Quaker, and he was a big influence on me although my family were Methodists. We are in the non-conformist tradition and from that I have my belief in being involved with society, and giving stuff back. That's what drives me on; I know it sounds a bit pious but when there's a thunderstorm at night and I ask myself if I should close the show, I think no, there are 200,000 people who'll be disappointed, think of the benefit to mankind. Without that thought I'd get too scared to put it on. My politics were also influenced by working as a coalminer for a couple of years at Mendip Colliery when I first took over the farm. I used to milk in the morning, and then go and do the day shift on the coal face, just to earn some money. I was a member of the National Union of Mineworkers, and the miners were all very leftwing. It gave me experience of dealing with working-class kids, and funnily enough I think that's what made the festival successful. Without that experience I could certainly never have handled the 50,000 new age travellers who descended on us after the Battle of the Beanfield at Stonehenge in 1985. I heard Prince was booked as the headline this year, but pulled out. Is that true? Henry Holland We wanted him to play, and it got to the point where his people were talking to us about him doing it, but before he confirmed he got really upset because he thought we had advertised that he was playing. We hadn't, but with social media, rumours get everywhere, and one of those rumours was that Prince was coming. So he didn't want to do it in the end. All the social media chit-chat now about who might be playing really doesn't help us. People think we've advertised them early, but there'd be no point to us leaking details because the tickets sell out in an hour in October, before the headline acts are announced. People come for what the event means to them, not the headline acts. You're a member of the headlining band: Saturday night, Pyramid stage. But, 1) are you the lead singer, guitarist, bass player or drummer? 2) Why? 3) Who are you channelling? And 4) What are you wearing? Cerys Matthews Oh, the lead singer without any doubt! I'm a bit of a singer really, from singing in chapel. That non-conformist religious background drives your singing thing. Anyway, I'd be channelling Elvis Presley, and I'd wear my shorts, with my dark jacket to give a professional touch, and my Jesus sandals. Actually I always sing one song with a local band on the Field of Avalon Stage the night before the festival starts, to start it all off. This year I'll be doing the Rolling Stones' The Last Time. It's the song I chose for John Humphrys to play on the Today programme when we announced we'd secured the Stones last year. Headlining the Pyramid stage in 1995 was the most significant performance of Pulp's career. As everyone knows, we were the last-minute replacement for the Stone Roses, but did you ask anyone else beside us? We heard rumours that Rod Stewart had turned it down. Jarvis Cocker No, Rod wasn't offered it. The thing was, Pulp's agent, Jeff Craft, was always really keen to get them on, and it was down to his persuasion. Pulp were second on the Pyramid Stage bill anyway, so we just moved them up. Jeff's a very good agent, though when he comes he doesn't watch his artists, you know. He goes off to the races! He's quite unique. Pulp's performance that night was very good. Jarvis was always going to go down well here because he's an eccentric – eccentric artists go down well at Glastonbury because we're an eccentric mob. I remember liking Common People, though I think I've heard enough of it now. Where do all your cows go for the week the festival's on? Justin Young, the Vaccines They're in the barn, which is their winter quarters at the moment, and they stay there until it's over. We feed them a little more generously while the festival's running, because we want them to feel like they're getting some benefit from the event. It means the milk yield goes up. In the 70s I played the Kinks records, which I loved, to the cows. I used enamel-glazed sewer pipes to pipe the music from the record player into the milking parlour, and it sounded fantastic, quite inspirational. It didn't increase the milk yields, but it made me very happy. Do you like electronic music? Neil Tennant, Pet Shop Boys (Laughing) I don't actually, no. I'm sorry, Neil. But Pet Shop Boys always go down really well here, especially on a sunny Sunday afternoon. I think it's because I was weaned on Elvis Presley and singing Charles Wesley hymns in chapel. It's extraordinary how much I enjoy singing those hymns every Sunday morning, even now. You were the first person to mix extremely diverse musical genres on the same bill. How did you have the confidence to do that? Viv Albertine I think that was a gradual thing, really. We've changed as fashions change, and in a way we've just tried to follow the trends of youth culture. Actually, I tried to stick to the stuff I like, but people wanted more of this or that, and then my kids would say, "We like dance music, we want a dance village!" I'd say, "Aww, but I don't like it though!" and they'd reply "It's not about you, it's about us!" So we've changed things like that. My own tastes are not diverse, not really. I like Neil Young, do a bit of Elvis, and a bit of Van Morrison … sometimes I do try to vary it by having a little go at Frank Turner though. Has your family's Quakerism had an effect on the festival? Jeremy Deller Well, there was our support for CND – my Quaker uncle was very proud of that, as he was proud that I was on the CND marches in the 70s. But Quakerism also had an influence in that the Clarks [the shoe-making family, from Street in Somerset] are Quakers. My great-grandfather rented a farm from them. The non-conformist, Quaker thing was strong in mid-Somerset, and the Clarks had an influence on the politics and the planning of the neighbourhood. That's why I've been allowed to get away with the festival. It succeeded only because of the support and influence of the Clarks and the Quaker/Methodist non-conformism here. It simply would not have succeeded anywhere else in Britain. I love sampling the wonderful food at festivals. What's the essential Glastonbury food stop for you? And how has the approach to food at Glastonbury changed since the 70s? Kelis I just go to Goose Hall, the building where we feed the crew, because it's easy and it's fast. It's just very basic, but in the festival itself we're much more selective than we used to be, when we had more fast food. Now we're getting quite snobby about it, and we try to have hand-made food stalls, with as little fast food as possible. It's interesting that people don't drink vast amounts of alcohol here, you know. I think it's the atmosphere – if people get drunk they can't appreciate it. I don't want to sound too much like a Methodist saying that though. I don't drink much, but I don't mind a glass of cider. Cider's great! How about offering sound-proof tents for those who'd quite like to get some sleep? Or failing that, high-tech earplugs? John Humphrys Hasn't he heard of the silent disco? Come on, John! Wakey wakey! The silent disco is fantastic, he needs to try that, or sleeping near it. Dear Michael, you probably won't remember but last year we met in NYC Downlow during a Kerri Chandler set. We were surrounded by transvestites and my question is, if you were to occasionally dress as a lady at weekends, what would your name be and what colour wig would you wear? T from Jungle I think you've got the wrong person, T. I know I wasn't in New York City listening to Kerri Chandler, among transvestites [guffaws loudly for several minutes] … The question's not appropriate for me, I have to say. I just can't see myself doing it. We do a medieval-themed event in the village once a year and I dress up for that, but that's about it. I don't think we've got a strong fashion look at the festival at the moment, although in the past few years Oxfam has sold hundreds of secondhand 1930s dresses here. All its shops across the country send all the dresses it has in that style down here. They make about £80,000 from them. How big is your dick? Shane MacGowan [Nonplussed] Oh. Well, actually it was bigger when I was younger, let's just say that. [more guffawing] I think it's more widely accepted now to have a chat about your sexual performance, don't you think? I think that's a good thing. Who's been your favourite band from over the years that one else will have heard of? Colin Newman, Wire Well, I remember Oasis in 1994 were absolutely brilliant and we'd never heard of them really. That was the best set they've ever done in their lives. All the bands tend to play better here than people are expecting them to, don't you think? Though in 1997 or 1998 Oasis had had a falling out with each other, and that didn't go very well, because it showed in the set. What has been the most surreal thing you've ever seen happen on the site of Glastonbury? Annie Mac [Strokes beard] Hmm. Well the thing is, it's all crazy, isn't it? I mean it's all a bit Mad Max wherever you go. But through the night in the south-east corner [the Arcadia stage, and Park area with open-air stages, tipi villages and late bars], it's all outrageous really. I can't think of anything there that's not outrageous. Have you ever done the festival as a regular punter? If not, would you consider it? Don Letts I haven't, and I couldn't consider it because I couldn't detach myself from it. Whenever I'm driving or walking round the site I notice things and think "who put that there?" Or "Where did that come from?" But it would be nice to see some of the bands I don't get to see because of things I have to do. For example I'd love to see Dexy's this year, but they're on [the acoustic stage] against Metallica, and I have to see what Metallica do. Metallica have been trying to play for so long – they ring every year, and they're so polite about it. "We'd love to be there, we're getting older, can we play it now?" That sort of thing. The least I can do is to watch them. What do you love most about Glastonbury and what are your hopes for the future? Ms Dynamite I love putting it together, you know. I get a real buzz out of it. It gets better every time, that's why when people ask me for my favourite year I can never say. The first one was significant, of course, with Marc Bolan and T Rex, only a pound to come in and free milk. It didn't work financially because not many turned up, but as an idea it was a great success. As for the future, I just hope the event can improve the quality of people's lives and the aspirations of people who haven't got a lot going on. I'd like to think it could inspire people with a vision of what they can do. Can I play on the Park Stage? Kate Tempest Er yeah, all right. I'm sure she can, but why doesn't she go into the poetry tent? Our poetry tent is marvellous. Won't she settle for that? Are you aware that the farmer in What the Ladybird Heard, written by Julia Donaldson, is clearly based on you? Look at the page near the end where you're dancing with a dog in your pyjamas – Lydia Monks, the illustrator, may as well have cut and pasted in a photo of you. Bridget Christie I knew about the book, yes. But is it really me, do you think? Yes. When we checked with Lydia she said: "Well he is the most famous farmer in the land! When I had to think of what a farmer looked like, he popped into my head." Well, I liked it, because what I really enjoy is being a pleasant, happy farmer. I'm not angry about anything, and I enjoy my life. All I really need is the farm, the dairy, the milk, the children and the grandchildren. So as far as kids are concerned, without being too conceited, I think I'm quite a good model for children (laughs). I suppose I'm quite easy to draw. It's the round head, you see, and the beard. I've had the beard most of my life. I grew it when I lost my hair when I was quite young. It gives a slightly puritanical image, I know, but I thought it suited me. I was just trying to say "I'm not the average bloke", I suppose. |