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The CIA doesn't need to be on Twitter. It needs a serious public makeover The CIA doesn't need to be on Twitter. It needs a serious public makeover
(about 1 month later)
My most impressive career skill used to be fending off sleazy hecklers in smoky nightclubs, where I My most impressive career skill used to be fending off sleazy hecklers in smoky nightclubs, where I performed improv comedy to half-drunk crowds. So I took the obvious next step: I joined the Central Intelligence Agency.
performed improv comedy to half-drunk crowds. So I My first gig there was in a closet full of wigs, mustaches and glasses, where I created disguises for operatives. So I dressed myself up as Ruth Buzzi from Laugh-In, naturally.
took the obvious next step: I joined the Central Intelligence Agency. My boss quickly reprimanded me: These are not Halloween costumes – this is serious tools of the espionage trade.
My first gig there was in a closet full of wigs, mustaches and glasses, where I created disguises for operatives. So I dressed myself up as Ruth Buzzi
from Laugh-In, naturally.
My boss quickly
reprimanded me: These are not Halloween costumes – this is serious tools of the espionage trade.
What can I say? Langley is a tough room. You are not supposed to joke at the CIA. It is not a funny place.What can I say? Langley is a tough room. You are not supposed to joke at the CIA. It is not a funny place.
So when my former employer joined the rest of the US government So when my former employer joined the rest of the US government agencies on Twitter a month ago, I was actually pretty impressed with the CIA's first tweet – a surprisingly pitch-perfect blend of clandestine seriousness and knowing smarminess.
agencies on Twitter a month ago, I was actually pretty impressed with the CIA's
first tweet – a surprisingly pitch-perfect blend of clandestine seriousness and
knowing smarminess.
We can neither confirm nor deny that this is our first tweet.We can neither confirm nor deny that this is our first tweet.
But it has all been embarrassingly downhill ever since. By But it has all been embarrassingly downhill ever since. By spewing out humdrum information about pneumatic tubes (yawn) and "U2 Week" (the airplane, not the band, but still), the agency has since become the joke of the in-crowd on Twitter. Then the CIA's social media account began a series of questionable, decidedly unfunny tweets on its one-month #twitterversary (not a thing, by the way), and this happened:
spewing out humdrum information about pneumatic tubes (yawn) and "U2 Week" (the
airplane, not the band, but still), the agency has since become the joke of the
in-crowd on Twitter. Then the CIA's social media
account began a series of questionable, decidedly unfunny tweets on its one-month
#twitterversary (not a thing, by the way), and this happened:
No, we don’t know where Tupac is. #twitterversaryNo, we don’t know where Tupac is. #twitterversary
Now I'm from the Sarah Silverman, Louis CK and Chris Rock Now I'm from the Sarah Silverman, Louis CK and Chris Rock school of comedy – I love when boundaries are pushed, when audiences are made uncomfortable – but their jokes work because they are comedians, not a government agency that specializes in secrecy and covert operations.
school of comedy – I love when boundaries are pushed, when audiences are made This Tupac "joke" was neither benign nor flippant; it was just plain old stupid, and further evidence that the CIA needs to learn how to read the room. Ridiculously glib tweets from the CIA paint the entire agency in a smug light, which is exactly the persona it so badly needs to avoid.
uncomfortable – but their jokes work because they are comedians, not a The CIA knows what everyone else knows: it's in desperate need of a makeover. We haven't forgotten about Benghazi or torture, and painfully awkward tweets – like watching-your-dad-dance-to-CeeLo-at-your-wedding awkward – won't make the CIA appear soft and fuzzy, just woefully disconnected from reality. The CIA does not need to be on Twitter, because it can't be transparent. (Though it is really into the #transparency hashtag.)
government agency that specializes in secrecy and covert operations.
This Tupac "joke" was neither benign nor flippant; it was just plain old stupid, and further evidence
that the CIA needs to learn how to read the room. Ridiculously glib tweets from the CIA paint the entire agency in a smug light, which is exactly the
persona it so badly needs to avoid.
The CIA knows what everyone else knows: it's in
desperate need of a makeover. We haven't
forgotten about Benghazi or torture, and painfully awkward tweets – like watching-your-dad-dance-to-CeeLo-at-your-wedding awkward – won't make the CIA appear soft and fuzzy, just woefully disconnected
from reality. The CIA does not need to be on Twitter, because it can't be transparent. (Though it is really into the #transparency hashtag.)
If the CIA could tweet about the truth, it would skip the Ellen selfie "jokes" and skip ahead to the real scandal about the CIA reportedly recruiting a German intelligence officer. Where is #OperationKaput when you need it?If the CIA could tweet about the truth, it would skip the Ellen selfie "jokes" and skip ahead to the real scandal about the CIA reportedly recruiting a German intelligence officer. Where is #OperationKaput when you need it?
But hashtags won't fend off the furor But hashtags won't fend off the furor after the Senate torture report is finally released. The only way for the agency to rebuild its reputation is to return to its core identity and shut up. The CIA needs to collect intelligence and figure out a way to play better with other government agencies. It's already the most capable clandestine agency in the world; spies don't need social media to prove that.
after the Senate torture report is finally released. The only way for the agency to rebuild its reputation is to return to its core identity and shut up. The CIA needs to collect intelligence and figure out a way to play better with other government I remember sitting on a plane next to my boss on the way back from my first real assignment: Don't you wish you could tell the world about what we just did?
agencies. It's already the most capable clandestine agency in the She smiled, grabbed my hand: Success in the CIA is not seeing your name in the paper. You just have to know that you left a little thumbprint on history.
world; spies don't need social media to prove that.
I remember sitting on a plane next to my boss on the way back from my first real assignment: Don't you wish you could tell the world
about what we just did?
She smiled, grabbed my hand: Success in the CIA is not seeing your name in the paper. You just have to know
that you left a little thumbprint on history.
The CIA may need a win, but clandestine victories are just that: classified. Anything public would be a #fail.The CIA may need a win, but clandestine victories are just that: classified. Anything public would be a #fail.