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Adventures in contraception: eight women discuss their choices Adventures in contraception: eight women discuss their choices
(10 days later)
The pill. So famous, so ubiquitous that it needs no handle, no explanation, no branding to hint at its function. Of all the drugs developed to mend and manipulate our bodies over the past 50-odd years, it seems birth control is the biggie. It alone deserves a loaded definite article. It changed everything.The pill. So famous, so ubiquitous that it needs no handle, no explanation, no branding to hint at its function. Of all the drugs developed to mend and manipulate our bodies over the past 50-odd years, it seems birth control is the biggie. It alone deserves a loaded definite article. It changed everything.
So far, so hurrah. But to my mind, harking on about the liberation it unleashed or using it as a euphemism for contraception simply perpetuates the misplaced idea that the pill is a one-size-fits-all wonder drug and is, frankly, holding women back from exploring the alternatives that, hushed tones now, might suit them better.So far, so hurrah. But to my mind, harking on about the liberation it unleashed or using it as a euphemism for contraception simply perpetuates the misplaced idea that the pill is a one-size-fits-all wonder drug and is, frankly, holding women back from exploring the alternatives that, hushed tones now, might suit them better.
Of course, I’m biased. As a moderately haphazard woman lurching through my youth, the idea of having to take a tablet every morning for the next umpteen years was clearly fraught with the potential for disaster. Putting all my faith in a skimpy bit of latex or taking pot luck with a calendar were equally out of the question, while digging back into the memories of institutionalised sex education only unearthed shady recollections of a teacher flapping a female condom around while simultaneously booming at the boys: “Don’t carry a jonny in your back pocket – your arse will warm it up and it’ll disintegrate.”Of course, I’m biased. As a moderately haphazard woman lurching through my youth, the idea of having to take a tablet every morning for the next umpteen years was clearly fraught with the potential for disaster. Putting all my faith in a skimpy bit of latex or taking pot luck with a calendar were equally out of the question, while digging back into the memories of institutionalised sex education only unearthed shady recollections of a teacher flapping a female condom around while simultaneously booming at the boys: “Don’t carry a jonny in your back pocket – your arse will warm it up and it’ll disintegrate.”
It seems I wasn’t alone. “There are still a lot of women, particularly young women, who see their choice as the pill or condom, and actually there are other methods that are 20 times more effective at preventing a pregnancy,” says Professor Judith Stephenson, Margaret Pyke professor of sexual and reproductive health at University College London. Dr Jane Dickson, a consultant in sexual and reproductive healthcare at Oxleas NHS Foundation Trust, agrees. “The first thing I will say to a patient looking for contraception is: ‘Do you want something that you have to think about or something that you don’t have to think about?’ And sometimes women will look at me as if to say: ‘What’s this batty woman on about?’”It seems I wasn’t alone. “There are still a lot of women, particularly young women, who see their choice as the pill or condom, and actually there are other methods that are 20 times more effective at preventing a pregnancy,” says Professor Judith Stephenson, Margaret Pyke professor of sexual and reproductive health at University College London. Dr Jane Dickson, a consultant in sexual and reproductive healthcare at Oxleas NHS Foundation Trust, agrees. “The first thing I will say to a patient looking for contraception is: ‘Do you want something that you have to think about or something that you don’t have to think about?’ And sometimes women will look at me as if to say: ‘What’s this batty woman on about?’”
It was just such a consultation that opened my eyes to the astonishing cornucopia of contraception on offer. Would I like the most effective birth control on offer? Yes! Would I prefer not to think about it for months, years, on end? YES! Would I like to stop having periods? IS THE POPE CATHOLIC?It was just such a consultation that opened my eyes to the astonishing cornucopia of contraception on offer. Would I like the most effective birth control on offer? Yes! Would I prefer not to think about it for months, years, on end? YES! Would I like to stop having periods? IS THE POPE CATHOLIC?
Not wishing to dive in at the deep end, I opted for progestogen injections – three months a pop of angst-free protection against pregnancy. It worked a treat, and after a bit of a wobble, the gripe-ridden rigmarole of menstruation stopped, too. The only trouble was I  fretted a bit about bone thinning and gained a soupçon of weight – a mildly annoying side effect to an otherwise marvellous experience.Not wishing to dive in at the deep end, I opted for progestogen injections – three months a pop of angst-free protection against pregnancy. It worked a treat, and after a bit of a wobble, the gripe-ridden rigmarole of menstruation stopped, too. The only trouble was I  fretted a bit about bone thinning and gained a soupçon of weight – a mildly annoying side effect to an otherwise marvellous experience.
In fact, so marvellous was it that after two years I thought: sod it – I’ll go the whole hog and have the contraceptive implant: a tiny match-stick-sized device that is stashed in my upper arm and slowly releases a low dose of progestogen. It’s a hat trick of defence, preventing ovulation, thickening cervical mucus to impede sperm and thinning the lining of the womb to guard against implantation. I haven’t looked back. For me it’s an elegant, modern answer to a conundrum that fits with my lifestyle, my body, and assuages my fears.In fact, so marvellous was it that after two years I thought: sod it – I’ll go the whole hog and have the contraceptive implant: a tiny match-stick-sized device that is stashed in my upper arm and slowly releases a low dose of progestogen. It’s a hat trick of defence, preventing ovulation, thickening cervical mucus to impede sperm and thinning the lining of the womb to guard against implantation. I haven’t looked back. For me it’s an elegant, modern answer to a conundrum that fits with my lifestyle, my body, and assuages my fears.
It doesn’t suit everyone. I consider myself one of the “lucky” 20% who no longer have to put up with periods, but some women struggle with erratic bleeding and spotting or simply feel wary of missing out on that bastion of femininity. “Sometimes I just despair,” says Dickson. “Why on earth do you want to have five days of a month in pain and bleeding when you could be spared it? But it is a very real anxiety.”It doesn’t suit everyone. I consider myself one of the “lucky” 20% who no longer have to put up with periods, but some women struggle with erratic bleeding and spotting or simply feel wary of missing out on that bastion of femininity. “Sometimes I just despair,” says Dickson. “Why on earth do you want to have five days of a month in pain and bleeding when you could be spared it? But it is a very real anxiety.”
Happily then, it’s not the only answer. Besides the two main forms of pill (combined and progestogen only), the injections, the implant and, of course, condoms, there’s a host of other options including intrauterine gadgets that can last for years. While the plastic Mirena, or IUS, sits in the womb and offers a local dose of progestogen, the copper coil, or IUD, kills off sperm and creates an inhospitable environment for implantation. It’s an option for those who aren’t keen on pumping their body full of extra hormones. “I do worry about how these hormones have altered women’s personalities and outlook on life,” one male friend admitted to me. It’s not an entirely misplaced fear: researchers have found some evidence to suggest that hormonal contraception can indeed influence women’s behaviour – including who we find attractive.Happily then, it’s not the only answer. Besides the two main forms of pill (combined and progestogen only), the injections, the implant and, of course, condoms, there’s a host of other options including intrauterine gadgets that can last for years. While the plastic Mirena, or IUS, sits in the womb and offers a local dose of progestogen, the copper coil, or IUD, kills off sperm and creates an inhospitable environment for implantation. It’s an option for those who aren’t keen on pumping their body full of extra hormones. “I do worry about how these hormones have altered women’s personalities and outlook on life,” one male friend admitted to me. It’s not an entirely misplaced fear: researchers have found some evidence to suggest that hormonal contraception can indeed influence women’s behaviour – including who we find attractive.
Despite myriad methods on offer, however, the pill continues to reign supreme. Year-on-year data from the Office for National Statistics shows that the percentage of pill-poppers barely wavers. Of women using at least one form of contraception, more than a third take a pill – the most recent figures from 2008/09 put it at 34% while the IUD, IUS, injections and implant come in at just 7%, 2%, 4% and 2% respectively. Perhaps the popularity of the pill is simply down to the fact that for many women, it works – and if it’s the best option for you, that’s great. Besides, a quick glance at the NHS website is unlikely to tempt women to try out alternative methods given comment boards stuffed with wince-inducing tales of perforation, bleeding and lost devices.Despite myriad methods on offer, however, the pill continues to reign supreme. Year-on-year data from the Office for National Statistics shows that the percentage of pill-poppers barely wavers. Of women using at least one form of contraception, more than a third take a pill – the most recent figures from 2008/09 put it at 34% while the IUD, IUS, injections and implant come in at just 7%, 2%, 4% and 2% respectively. Perhaps the popularity of the pill is simply down to the fact that for many women, it works – and if it’s the best option for you, that’s great. Besides, a quick glance at the NHS website is unlikely to tempt women to try out alternative methods given comment boards stuffed with wince-inducing tales of perforation, bleeding and lost devices.
“Health publicity does tend to be negative,” says Dickson. “We are battling with myths and misconceptions.” Dr Cynthia Graham, senior lecturer in health psychology at the University of Southampton, agrees. “A lot of women have the idea that IUD, IUS and also injectables can affect future fertility in the long term, and there is really no evidence for that.”“Health publicity does tend to be negative,” says Dickson. “We are battling with myths and misconceptions.” Dr Cynthia Graham, senior lecturer in health psychology at the University of Southampton, agrees. “A lot of women have the idea that IUD, IUS and also injectables can affect future fertility in the long term, and there is really no evidence for that.”
Mumbled misinformation aside, long-acting reversible contraception has a trump card, as one IUS-using friend put it: “Once it is installed in your body, you can’t not take it, so it gets rid of that pesky human error.”Mumbled misinformation aside, long-acting reversible contraception has a trump card, as one IUS-using friend put it: “Once it is installed in your body, you can’t not take it, so it gets rid of that pesky human error.”
It’s a thought that has struck policy-makers, too. Following a 2005 report from Nice that flagged up the efficacy and cost-effectiveness of long-acting reversible contraception (Larc), the Department of Health announced in 2008 it was assigning £27m to promote access to contraception. It was, the politicians decided, a compelling way to reduce unwanted pregnancies, particularly among teens. It’s a thought that has struck policy-makers, too. Following a 2005 report from Nice that flagged up the efficacy and cost-effectiveness of long-acting reversible contraception (Larc), the Department of Health announced in 2008 it was assigning £27m to promote access to contraception. It was, the politicians decided, a compelling way to reduce unwanted pregnancies, particularly among teens.
The push could be working. A study suggests that incentives introduced in 2009 to encourage GPs to discuss Larc options with patients have resulted in an increase in the uptake of such methods, while the latest government figures reveal that, among women attending NHS clinics, implant use has risen from 1% to 12% over the past decade among those using contraception. “We’ve definitely seen an enormous increase in uptake,” says Dickson. “I’ve been doing my job for about 10 years, and when I started the clinic would fit about 50 implants a year. Now we fit between 1,500 and 2,000.”The push could be working. A study suggests that incentives introduced in 2009 to encourage GPs to discuss Larc options with patients have resulted in an increase in the uptake of such methods, while the latest government figures reveal that, among women attending NHS clinics, implant use has risen from 1% to 12% over the past decade among those using contraception. “We’ve definitely seen an enormous increase in uptake,” says Dickson. “I’ve been doing my job for about 10 years, and when I started the clinic would fit about 50 implants a year. Now we fit between 1,500 and 2,000.”
But new options continue to arrive. In 2003 the contraceptive patch was introduced in the UK, followed six years later by a hormone-releasing vaginal ring – the NuvaRing. While Merck, its producer, has recently been tied up in legal cases with women who claim the device caused them to develop blood clots, others such as Lessa, who suffers from endometriosis, have welcomed it. “In order to be functional for all of the month as opposed to just three weeks of it I have to be hormonally regulated. Otherwise I am in searing agony and pain for a week out of every month,” she tells me. “I’ve been on various things and finally found that the NuvaRing works great for me.”But new options continue to arrive. In 2003 the contraceptive patch was introduced in the UK, followed six years later by a hormone-releasing vaginal ring – the NuvaRing. While Merck, its producer, has recently been tied up in legal cases with women who claim the device caused them to develop blood clots, others such as Lessa, who suffers from endometriosis, have welcomed it. “In order to be functional for all of the month as opposed to just three weeks of it I have to be hormonally regulated. Otherwise I am in searing agony and pain for a week out of every month,” she tells me. “I’ve been on various things and finally found that the NuvaRing works great for me.”
That’s not to say that oral contraceptives have had their day. The pill has been tweaked, tuned and modernised over the years, and even changes in the routine of pill-taking towards tailored extended use have become more widely recognised. And there are other upgrades afoot, from smaller IUS devices to the much-mooted development of contraceptive sprays and gels and even improved access. “We did a study with the subcutaneous injectable where we taught women to inject themselves. It was feasible and 90% of women who took part thought it was easy,” says Dr Sharon Cameron, consultant gynaecologist. That’s not to say that oral contraceptives have had their day. The pill has been tweaked, tuned and modernised over the years, and even changes in the routine of pill-taking towards tailored extended use have become more widely recognised. And there are other upgrades afoot, from smaller IUS devices to the much-mooted development of contraceptive sprays and gels and even improved access. “We did a study with the subcutaneous injectable where we taught women to inject themselves. It was feasible and 90% of women who took part thought it was easy,” says Dr Sharon Cameron, consultant gynaecologist.
There’s even a glimmer of hope that men might be given the keys to their own car. Male contraception is edging beyond vasectomies and condoms, with trials underway into reversibly semi blocking the vas deferens with polymer gel that inactivates sperm, while tentative steps are being taken towards a male pill. And the holy grail? “I think the real jackpot would be to have an effective, contraceptive method that also prevents against STIs that would be an alternative to condoms,” says Stephenson.There’s even a glimmer of hope that men might be given the keys to their own car. Male contraception is edging beyond vasectomies and condoms, with trials underway into reversibly semi blocking the vas deferens with polymer gel that inactivates sperm, while tentative steps are being taken towards a male pill. And the holy grail? “I think the real jackpot would be to have an effective, contraceptive method that also prevents against STIs that would be an alternative to condoms,” says Stephenson.
With more contraceptive options, Stephenson believes interactives for iPads, parked in clinics and surgeries, could be used to offer information while you wait. “You could quickly go through a few key things about what method might suit you best,” she says.With more contraceptive options, Stephenson believes interactives for iPads, parked in clinics and surgeries, could be used to offer information while you wait. “You could quickly go through a few key things about what method might suit you best,” she says.
The pill’s 53-year-old victory parade is over. Welcome to Contraception 2.0.The pill’s 53-year-old victory parade is over. Welcome to Contraception 2.0.
Anushka: in her teensAnushka: in her teens
My parents know I’m on the pill, but they think I’m doing it because it regulates my period and helps with the pain. It does that, too, but that’s not the main reason I’m on it. I’m 17, so they must suspect something when boys come to the house, but nothing is ever talked about. The guys are always just “friends”. It’s the same with smoking – they know I do, and they must find my baccy, but they don’t say anything. I don’t have a very good relationship with my parents; I wish it was better. I don’t like that I can’t talk to them about anything.My parents know I’m on the pill, but they think I’m doing it because it regulates my period and helps with the pain. It does that, too, but that’s not the main reason I’m on it. I’m 17, so they must suspect something when boys come to the house, but nothing is ever talked about. The guys are always just “friends”. It’s the same with smoking – they know I do, and they must find my baccy, but they don’t say anything. I don’t have a very good relationship with my parents; I wish it was better. I don’t like that I can’t talk to them about anything.
It’s great for me to be on the pill over the summer, while I’m going to lots of festivals – you don’t want to be on your period in a tent. It’s more difficult if I go on a family holiday and I’m sharing a room with my mum and have to hide things from her. I know I won’t take the pill forever, but right now it’s what I need.It’s great for me to be on the pill over the summer, while I’m going to lots of festivals – you don’t want to be on your period in a tent. It’s more difficult if I go on a family holiday and I’m sharing a room with my mum and have to hide things from her. I know I won’t take the pill forever, but right now it’s what I need.
I went on the pill when I was 15 and had to go on my own to the clinic. It was scary – I was just lucky my older sister was already on the pill so she could tell me which one to get. I was having sex with my boyfriend. We had used condoms maybe five times, but they can break and I didn’t want to be taking the morning-after pill. You hear scare stories – I don’t know if they’re true – about how taking the morning-after pill four times increases your risk of infertility by 50%. I don’t want any of that.I went on the pill when I was 15 and had to go on my own to the clinic. It was scary – I was just lucky my older sister was already on the pill so she could tell me which one to get. I was having sex with my boyfriend. We had used condoms maybe five times, but they can break and I didn’t want to be taking the morning-after pill. You hear scare stories – I don’t know if they’re true – about how taking the morning-after pill four times increases your risk of infertility by 50%. I don’t want any of that.
My mum’s attitude is cultural. She’s Indian and grew up in a strict Christian family. She is very overprotective. In India they’re bigger on oils and natural remedies. If the pill was made of herbs I don’t think she’d mind, but she is suspicious of artificial hormones and chemicals. My grandmother is the same. When I have a sore throat they prefer that I have a salt gargle than a Strepsil. Last year I found a lump in my boob. It turned out to be nothing but I went with my mum to the doctor. One of the first things they asked was whether I was on the pill. I lied and said I wasn’t.My mum’s attitude is cultural. She’s Indian and grew up in a strict Christian family. She is very overprotective. In India they’re bigger on oils and natural remedies. If the pill was made of herbs I don’t think she’d mind, but she is suspicious of artificial hormones and chemicals. My grandmother is the same. When I have a sore throat they prefer that I have a salt gargle than a Strepsil. Last year I found a lump in my boob. It turned out to be nothing but I went with my mum to the doctor. One of the first things they asked was whether I was on the pill. I lied and said I wasn’t.
I go to a private school, and the girls are less advanced in terms of contraception. It might be because their mums are more in control. Lots of my state-school friends are on the pill. They are more confident. They don’t need their mothers’ permission.I go to a private school, and the girls are less advanced in terms of contraception. It might be because their mums are more in control. Lots of my state-school friends are on the pill. They are more confident. They don’t need their mothers’ permission.
Bridget Minamore: in her 20sBridget Minamore: in her 20s
Why do I find it so hard to talk about contraception? Somewhere between my Catholic upbringing and my over- sharing online is an unease whenever it’s time to talk about the big C. Sex? I can talk and joke about sex, and when I have to be sensible, the possibility of getting knocked up or catching something nasty means I always speak up. But with my friends? Not really. We discuss almost everything else, but not our contraception options. I am struck by how little we talk about something we all have to think about.Why do I find it so hard to talk about contraception? Somewhere between my Catholic upbringing and my over- sharing online is an unease whenever it’s time to talk about the big C. Sex? I can talk and joke about sex, and when I have to be sensible, the possibility of getting knocked up or catching something nasty means I always speak up. But with my friends? Not really. We discuss almost everything else, but not our contraception options. I am struck by how little we talk about something we all have to think about.
A conversation revealed that a lot of us forget to take our pills. While condoms are popular, none of my mates know how to use the female condom and, despite our feminism, have little interest in finding out. Reactions to the implant are mixed – one friend has had no problems, another bled for six months solid. The best response was from my flatmate, a vocal advert for the hormonal coil. While she admits being lax about using other methods to avoid STDs now the threat of pregnancy is gone, the fact that she and her mates researched it together and got them in on the same day meant the process was a far less scary one.A conversation revealed that a lot of us forget to take our pills. While condoms are popular, none of my mates know how to use the female condom and, despite our feminism, have little interest in finding out. Reactions to the implant are mixed – one friend has had no problems, another bled for six months solid. The best response was from my flatmate, a vocal advert for the hormonal coil. While she admits being lax about using other methods to avoid STDs now the threat of pregnancy is gone, the fact that she and her mates researched it together and got them in on the same day meant the process was a far less scary one.
So, a rallying cry: talk to the people around you. Even copy the example of one friend of a friend who didn’t share our embarrassment and tweet your way through deciding on getting an IUD, hating it, and getting it taken out a month later. Contraception might be the unsexy part of sex, but it’s necessary, and chances are your mates have their own stories to tell. All of mine have gone through so much silent trial-and-error that the next time one of us has a decision to make, I’m hopeful it won’t all have been in vain. So, a rallying cry: talk to the people around you. Even copy the example of one friend of a friend who didn’t share our embarrassment and tweet your way through deciding on getting an IUD, hating it, and getting it taken out a month later. Contraception might be the unsexy part of sex, but it’s necessary, and chances are your mates have their own stories to tell. All of mine have gone through so much silent trial-and-error that the next time one of us has a decision to make, I’m hopeful it won’t all have been in vain.
Isy Suttie: in her 30sIsy Suttie: in her 30s
There’s something gloriously British, almost Adrian Mole-ish, about our approach to the condom. I imagine in Italy men walk round with them on all the time, so sure are they that they’re only ever 5m away from a shag. We falter a bit. We examine the evidence. There’s something gloriously British, almost Adrian Mole-ish, about our approach to the condom. I imagine in Italy men walk round with them on all the time, so sure are they that they’re only ever 5m away from a shag. We falter a bit. We examine the evidence.
Have we kissed and made that “mnnnm” noise? Has one of us tried, failed, and reluctantly accepted assistance negotiating a bra or zip? Are we now doing the kind of heavy petting that would have got us chucked out of a swimming pool in the 80s? Three yesses? It’s C-word time. Regardless of whether you have one on you, the first words on the matter have to be: “Er, do you have a condom?” Not the presumptuous: “I’ve got a condom!” sung to the tune of: “I’m the king of the castle!” Have we kissed and made that “mnnnm” noise? Has one of us tried, failed, and reluctantly accepted assistance negotiating a bra or zip? Are we now doing the kind of heavy petting that would have got us chucked out of a swimming pool in the 80s? Three yesses? It’s C-word time. Regardless of whether you have one on you, the first words on the matter have to be: “Er, do you have a condom?” Not the presumptuous: “I’ve got a condom!” sung to the tune of: “I’m the king of the castle!”
One morning I was in flagrante with a nice man I didn’t know terribly well – I wouldn’t have been able to spell his surname with confidence – and the need for a condom had been established. As I sweatily rifled through my bag there were some pretty second-rate utterances from me to fill time, such as “Oooh, sex!” and the command: “Stay there!” as if it was a given that he was plotting his escape. I finally found my trusty rubber friend amongst kirby grips and tissues, and clumsily put it on, adding buoyantly: “I’m really looking forward to this!”One morning I was in flagrante with a nice man I didn’t know terribly well – I wouldn’t have been able to spell his surname with confidence – and the need for a condom had been established. As I sweatily rifled through my bag there were some pretty second-rate utterances from me to fill time, such as “Oooh, sex!” and the command: “Stay there!” as if it was a given that he was plotting his escape. I finally found my trusty rubber friend amongst kirby grips and tissues, and clumsily put it on, adding buoyantly: “I’m really looking forward to this!”
Everything was then going tickety-boo until my rubber friend went off-piste and wedged itself stubbornly somewhere between my cervix and uterus. It wasn’t a sensation I’d had before. I just knew something felt wrong, like when you have chips in a Chinese. Once we’d dug around the sheets to confirm our suspicions we panicked and pegged it to a clinic. When we arrived we were giggling and hyperventilating. A smart lady produced some pliers and hauled it out. She asked us, po-faced, if we’d like to keep it. We said: “Why of course” and then we went to a café for some ham and eggs. I couldn’t have asked for a greater bonding experience, and it was the beginning of a lovely relationship. Of course I immediately went on the pill. Everything was then going tickety-boo until my rubber friend went off-piste and wedged itself stubbornly somewhere between my cervix and uterus. It wasn’t a sensation I’d had before. I just knew something felt wrong, like when you have chips in a Chinese. Once we’d dug around the sheets to confirm our suspicions we panicked and pegged it to a clinic. When we arrived we were giggling and hyperventilating. A smart lady produced some pliers and hauled it out. She asked us, po-faced, if we’d like to keep it. We said: “Why of course” and then we went to a café for some ham and eggs. I couldn’t have asked for a greater bonding experience, and it was the beginning of a lovely relationship. Of course I immediately went on the pill.
Vanessa Thorpe: in her 40sVanessa Thorpe: in her 40s
Women are so good at sharing, we hear. Strange then that among my generation of friends, adolescent in the early 1980s, there was a sort of discretion verging on the demure when it came to discussing contraception. And it has pretty much persisted through our adult lives.Women are so good at sharing, we hear. Strange then that among my generation of friends, adolescent in the early 1980s, there was a sort of discretion verging on the demure when it came to discussing contraception. And it has pretty much persisted through our adult lives.
Although I can tell you a lot about the women I know best, I can’t tell you exactly what they did, or do, for contraception. I don’t think it is repression, although it might be partly that. I think it is largely the fact that we, as liberated women, ambitious at least for independence, felt we did not want to spend much time talking about traditionally female problems, even if it would have been helpful. Possibly there was also a sense among us that, post-1960s, you had to pretend to know all about it already.Although I can tell you a lot about the women I know best, I can’t tell you exactly what they did, or do, for contraception. I don’t think it is repression, although it might be partly that. I think it is largely the fact that we, as liberated women, ambitious at least for independence, felt we did not want to spend much time talking about traditionally female problems, even if it would have been helpful. Possibly there was also a sense among us that, post-1960s, you had to pretend to know all about it already.
So it was that, one sad afternoon at university, a woman I am still close to sobbed into my chest inside the ladies loos along the corridor from the college pigeonholes. “I’m pregnant,” she stuttered. Her words were almost inaudible and I only pieced together the meaning once she had pulled away from me. We didn’t really discuss it much even after that. It was dealt with grimly with the support of a boyfriend. So it was that, one sad afternoon at university, a woman I am still close to sobbed into my chest inside the ladies loos along the corridor from the college pigeonholes. “I’m pregnant,” she stuttered. Her words were almost inaudible and I only pieced together the meaning once she had pulled away from me. We didn’t really discuss it much even after that. It was dealt with grimly with the support of a boyfriend.
In school the girls who were rumoured to be “on the pill” had been the focus of excited gossip among classmates. It was seen as almost the same thing as wearing a big badge reading “slag”. It was a cosy echo of our mothers’ era, when the shame of getting caught out of wedlock was the worst fate to be feared. For us, however, as the terror of Aids grew in stature, the dark days of backstreet abortions and bleak enforced adoptions began to seem almost worthy of nostalgia – because if we had unprotected sex we were all going to die. The television adverts had made it plain: the sexually active among us were headed for an early grave under a towering tombstone marked by those four letters. In school the girls who were rumoured to be “on the pill” had been the focus of excited gossip among classmates. It was seen as almost the same thing as wearing a big badge reading “slag”. It was a cosy echo of our mothers’ era, when the shame of getting caught out of wedlock was the worst fate to be feared. For us, however, as the terror of Aids grew in stature, the dark days of backstreet abortions and bleak enforced adoptions began to seem almost worthy of nostalgia – because if we had unprotected sex we were all going to die. The television adverts had made it plain: the sexually active among us were headed for an early grave under a towering tombstone marked by those four letters.
This, I guess, explains the continued popularity of condoms in my age group, despite all the innovations going on in laboratories, creating new milder “third generation” progestogen pills, and even though the first polyurethane condoms did not come in until 1997. There was limited word on the street about the depo-provera contraceptive injection, a drug used then as a drastic measure administered to girls not considered responsible enough to produce a new baby every year.This, I guess, explains the continued popularity of condoms in my age group, despite all the innovations going on in laboratories, creating new milder “third generation” progestogen pills, and even though the first polyurethane condoms did not come in until 1997. There was limited word on the street about the depo-provera contraceptive injection, a drug used then as a drastic measure administered to girls not considered responsible enough to produce a new baby every year.
Within sexual relationships, as we grew up, the pill became an emblem of grown-up-ness rather than of promiscuity. It was an unfortunate thing, in a way, because for a young woman going on the pill was often a sign of romantic commitment, while for a man it was sometimes simply licence to stop buying condoms. Within sexual relationships, as we grew up, the pill became an emblem of grown-up-ness rather than of promiscuity. It was an unfortunate thing, in a way, because for a young woman going on the pill was often a sign of romantic commitment, while for a man it was sometimes simply licence to stop buying condoms.
The most discussed preventative innovation of the age was the morning-after-pill, arriving as it did in 1984. Women who used this were regarded with sneaking respect: they were wild enough to have thrown caution to the wind yet sensible enough to reach for the best remedy and brave enough to go through the unpleasant, queasy-making experience.The most discussed preventative innovation of the age was the morning-after-pill, arriving as it did in 1984. Women who used this were regarded with sneaking respect: they were wild enough to have thrown caution to the wind yet sensible enough to reach for the best remedy and brave enough to go through the unpleasant, queasy-making experience.
Female barrier methods, improving slowly through the 1990s, were perhaps the most occult of the prophylactic arts. The fact that stand-up comedian Ben Elton was thought daringly modern when he referred to them in one of his rapid-fire routines says it all. Female barrier methods, improving slowly through the 1990s, were perhaps the most occult of the prophylactic arts. The fact that stand-up comedian Ben Elton was thought daringly modern when he referred to them in one of his rapid-fire routines says it all.
As we aged together, the fear of infection and pregnancy was slowly superseded by a fear of infertility. We were, it turned out, the first middle-class generation to be judged, almost en masse, “elderly primigravida” – that is, going to term with a first pregnancy over the age of 35. As we aged together, the fear of infection and pregnancy was slowly superseded by a fear of infertility. We were, it turned out, the first middle-class generation to be judged, almost en masse, “elderly primigravida” – that is, going to term with a first pregnancy over the age of 35.
Mariella Frostrup: in her 50sMariella Frostrup: in her 50s
Sex is hopefully sexy, but contraception is anything but. Despite brave attempts, involving flavouring, colouring and “pleasure points” there has been no successful way of dressing up pregnancy prevention as anything other than what it says on the packet.Sex is hopefully sexy, but contraception is anything but. Despite brave attempts, involving flavouring, colouring and “pleasure points” there has been no successful way of dressing up pregnancy prevention as anything other than what it says on the packet.
My first brush with the mysterious world of birth control was in my early teens, when my mother managed to perform what must go down in history as a minor miracle. It was the 1970s and my separated parents were resident in Ireland, a country that legislated against sex before marriage and refused to recognise that it ever occurred, where abuse was rife, abortion was illegal and the church ruled. My first brush with the mysterious world of birth control was in my early teens, when my mother managed to perform what must go down in history as a minor miracle. It was the 1970s and my separated parents were resident in Ireland, a country that legislated against sex before marriage and refused to recognise that it ever occurred, where abuse was rife, abortion was illegal and the church ruled.
Despite the prevailing culture of high Catholicism my mum managed to secure a prescription for the pill for her young lovestruck daughter. I was living with my father at the time, and in one of the few moments of co-operation I ever witnessed between my parents, he begged her help as it became clear my two-year love affair with the boy next door was inevitably headed for consummation. Despite the prevailing culture of high Catholicism my mum managed to secure a prescription for the pill for her young lovestruck daughter. I was living with my father at the time, and in one of the few moments of co-operation I ever witnessed between my parents, he begged her help as it became clear my two-year love affair with the boy next door was inevitably headed for consummation.
In retrospect I feel immense gratitude for her efforts, which transformed a benign act of love into a memorable and treasured event rather than one with potentially disastrous consequences for two teenagers in love. I still recall her lying about my age and arguing calmly and convincingly with the sympathetic but reluctant nurse at the newly opened Marie Stopes clinic that while she and the nurse might prefer me not to have sex it was definitely on the cards and they’d be better off ensuring that I didn’t become a mother to boot. In retrospect I feel immense gratitude for her efforts, which transformed a benign act of love into a memorable and treasured event rather than one with potentially disastrous consequences for two teenagers in love. I still recall her lying about my age and arguing calmly and convincingly with the sympathetic but reluctant nurse at the newly opened Marie Stopes clinic that while she and the nurse might prefer me not to have sex it was definitely on the cards and they’d be better off ensuring that I didn’t become a mother to boot.
I’m not sure if putting me on the pill before I was 16 was strictly legal, but it was definitely the right course of action in the circumstances, and while my mother and I have had many differences over the intervening years, for this one act of unqualified support I remain forever in her debt. I’m not sure if putting me on the pill before I was 16 was strictly legal, but it was definitely the right course of action in the circumstances, and while my mother and I have had many differences over the intervening years, for this one act of unqualified support I remain forever in her debt.
I carried on taking the pill until fears of a far more terrifying conclusion to carnal impulses than pregnancy took over in the 1980s. In the nightmare of the Aids epidemic the right form of contraception was for all of us a matter of life or death. Later still, after the birth of my two children, came the opportunity for my favourite contraceptive, the Mirena coil, which gave me five fabulously menstrual-free years without having to give unplanned pregnancy or the monthly female inconvenience, which has quite rightly been nicknamed “the curse”, a second thought. I carried on taking the pill until fears of a far more terrifying conclusion to carnal impulses than pregnancy took over in the 1980s. In the nightmare of the Aids epidemic the right form of contraception was for all of us a matter of life or death. Later still, after the birth of my two children, came the opportunity for my favourite contraceptive, the Mirena coil, which gave me five fabulously menstrual-free years without having to give unplanned pregnancy or the monthly female inconvenience, which has quite rightly been nicknamed “the curse”, a second thought.
I’m sure in this crazy mixed-up world there are women who love their periods and partners who are equally enamoured. I’m not among them and hope advances in contraception that I can barely yet imagine will bless my daughter’s generation and the many millions of women further afield for whom birth control remains unaffordable, unacceptable and inaccessible. I’m sure in this crazy mixed-up world there are women who love their periods and partners who are equally enamoured. I’m not among them and hope advances in contraception that I can barely yet imagine will bless my daughter’s generation and the many millions of women further afield for whom birth control remains unaffordable, unacceptable and inaccessible.
Yvonne Roberts: in her 60sYvonne Roberts: in her 60s
On the allegedly swinging 60s, poet Michelene Wandor has it about right. Those years for many were: “Full of people I didn’t sleep with/ Joints I didn’t smoke/ Plays I wasn’t in”.On the allegedly swinging 60s, poet Michelene Wandor has it about right. Those years for many were: “Full of people I didn’t sleep with/ Joints I didn’t smoke/ Plays I wasn’t in”.
Before abortion became legal, the best contraception for a working-class girl was the simple expedient of fear. Fear of becoming pregnant; fear of the exit door to university clanging shut; fear of being hitched to the same man for 60 years because of a five-minute fumble followed by a shotgun marriage. Fear worked a treat. Before abortion became legal, the best contraception for a working-class girl was the simple expedient of fear. Fear of becoming pregnant; fear of the exit door to university clanging shut; fear of being hitched to the same man for 60 years because of a five-minute fumble followed by a shotgun marriage. Fear worked a treat.
It was a rum time for copulation. While the debate raged about whether female orgasms were vaginal or clitoral (at least encouraging the curious to investigate what exactly – and where – a clitoris might be), and the musical backdrop was sex and drugs and rock’n’roll, and researchers Masters and Johnson had announced to the world that women could be multi-orgasmic, girls of very slender means (budgets, say, unable to stretch to an illegal termination) were also concerned that if they “went all the way”, far from being seen as the liberated hippy chick, they’d be viewed as the campus bike. “Free” love in the 60s came at a price.It was a rum time for copulation. While the debate raged about whether female orgasms were vaginal or clitoral (at least encouraging the curious to investigate what exactly – and where – a clitoris might be), and the musical backdrop was sex and drugs and rock’n’roll, and researchers Masters and Johnson had announced to the world that women could be multi-orgasmic, girls of very slender means (budgets, say, unable to stretch to an illegal termination) were also concerned that if they “went all the way”, far from being seen as the liberated hippy chick, they’d be viewed as the campus bike. “Free” love in the 60s came at a price.
Knowledge of the cap, the withdrawal method, douches and condoms, complete with gruesomely graphic illustrations, were learned about from a fearsome medical book acquired by my mother. It implied that, for the female, sex was a tiresome affair in which the position was ridiculous and the pleasure momentary. Then, with the advent of the pill, women’s magazines began to tell a different story: intercourse didn’t have to mean a woman’s aspirations were sabotaged; nice girls could – and many of us did. Knowledge of the cap, the withdrawal method, douches and condoms, complete with gruesomely graphic illustrations, were learned about from a fearsome medical book acquired by my mother. It implied that, for the female, sex was a tiresome affair in which the position was ridiculous and the pleasure momentary. Then, with the advent of the pill, women’s magazines began to tell a different story: intercourse didn’t have to mean a woman’s aspirations were sabotaged; nice girls could – and many of us did.
Katharine Whitehorn: in her 80sKatharine Whitehorn: in her 80s
Just as every generation seems to think it invented sex, it irritatingly often thinks it invented contraception. At which I grind my teeth and remember the small sponge pessary my mother used in the 1930s, and begin to hum one of the songs for Socialists: “The middle classes/ me and you/ Already know a thing or two/ But oh the poor/ they breed like rabbits/ They have the most disgusting habits.”Just as every generation seems to think it invented sex, it irritatingly often thinks it invented contraception. At which I grind my teeth and remember the small sponge pessary my mother used in the 1930s, and begin to hum one of the songs for Socialists: “The middle classes/ me and you/ Already know a thing or two/ But oh the poor/ they breed like rabbits/ They have the most disgusting habits.”
My generation had the Dutch cap, though you had to pretend you were married to get it fitted. You didn’t have to produce a certificate, just tell the date. I’ve always had pleasant feelings about 19 April, the alleged date I gave the clinic. But there were always condoms, which men could buy at the barber’s. It amuses me when some respectable piece of prose is headed: “Something for the weekend?”, which was what the barbers used to say to potential buyers. I understand, too, that there were such things made of lambs’ intestines long before there was anything made of rubber.My generation had the Dutch cap, though you had to pretend you were married to get it fitted. You didn’t have to produce a certificate, just tell the date. I’ve always had pleasant feelings about 19 April, the alleged date I gave the clinic. But there were always condoms, which men could buy at the barber’s. It amuses me when some respectable piece of prose is headed: “Something for the weekend?”, which was what the barbers used to say to potential buyers. I understand, too, that there were such things made of lambs’ intestines long before there was anything made of rubber.
In Mary McCarthy’s book The Group, set in the 1930s, the girls made a lot of fuss about their Dutch caps, and when I interviewed her once she said that when she had visited Bernard Berenson in Italy he greeted her with: “Hullo Mary, have you brought your pessary?” Not thinking an elderly gay art critic ought to talk like that, she replied: “No, I haven’t done anything on Pissarro recently…” In Mary McCarthy’s book The Group, set in the 1930s, the girls made a lot of fuss about their Dutch caps, and when I interviewed her once she said that when she had visited Bernard Berenson in Italy he greeted her with: “Hullo Mary, have you brought your pessary?” Not thinking an elderly gay art critic ought to talk like that, she replied: “No, I haven’t done anything on Pissarro recently…”
The pill is the most recent contraceptive, but not the only one, thank goodness. I suspect that only the very uninformed ever thought the only way to avoid an unwanted baby was in the classic way: “If you can’t be good, be careful; if you can’t be careful, keep on walking.” There are more ways of being careful than even the sex-obsessed young may realise.The pill is the most recent contraceptive, but not the only one, thank goodness. I suspect that only the very uninformed ever thought the only way to avoid an unwanted baby was in the classic way: “If you can’t be good, be careful; if you can’t be careful, keep on walking.” There are more ways of being careful than even the sex-obsessed young may realise.