The mysterious reappearance of canoeist John Darwin after vanishing five years ago has cast the spotlight on a little-covered phenomenon: middle-aged men who go missing.
The mysterious reappearance of canoeist John Darwin after vanishing five years ago has cast the spotlight on a little-covered phenomenon: middle-aged men who go missing.
Bernard Cook is still receiving post.
Bernard Cook is still receiving post.
But he has not passed over the threshold of his home and reached down to pick it up since 16 November 2005.
But he has not passed over the threshold of his home and reached down to pick it up since 16 November 2005.
Some time around the middle of that day Mr Cook, estates director for the Mersey Docks and Harbour Company and due at an important meeting, took a van from his work and disappeared.
Some time around the middle of that day Mr Cook, estates director for the Mersey Docks and Harbour Company and due at an important meeting, took a van from his work and disappeared.
Now when the phone goes you don't expect it to be news Bernadette Cook
Now when the phone goes you don't expect it to be news Bernadette CookWhose husband, above, is missing
In the two years and 18 days that have passed there has only been one sighting, at a church in Coventry, that has given his family any hope.
In the two years and 18 days that have passed there has only been one sighting, at a church in Coventry, that has given his family any hope.
It would be understandable to fear he had killed himself, but despite extensive police efforts no body has been found. He has not tried to access his bank accounts and there was no evidence of preparations for disappearance.
It would be understandable to fear he had killed himself, but despite extensive police efforts no body has been found. He has not tried to access his bank accounts and there was no evidence of preparations for disappearance.
When we think of missing people we tend to assume vulnerable women, troubled teenagers and children running away. But there is a category of missing person that receives less coverage in the national news: men over the age of 30.
When we think of missing people we tend to assume vulnerable women, troubled teenagers and children running away. But there is a category of missing person that receives less coverage in the national news: men over the age of 30.
Across the UK, there are as many as 210,000 missing persons reports every year, although one person might be counted several times for numerous disappearances.
Across the UK, there are as many as 210,000 missing persons reports every year, although one person might be counted several times for numerous disappearances.
Media coverage
Media coverage
A 2004 random sample of 1,000 missing cases in London found that more than three-quarters were resolved within 48 hours, while 99% were resolved within a year.
A 2004 random sample of 1,000 missing cases in London found that more than three-quarters were resolved within 48 hours, while 99% were resolved within a year.
The figures suggest that while the teenage missing are more likely to be girls, of all those over the age of 24 who disappear, 73% are male. Of those missing for more than a year, the longer they are missing the more likely they are to be older men.
The figures suggest that while the teenage missing are more likely to be girls, of all those over the age of 24 who disappear, 73% are male. Of those missing for more than a year, the longer they are missing the more likely they are to be older men.
Missing People, formerly the National Missing Persons Helpline (NMPH), works to get these men the same attention as others who have disappeared and whose cases are more readily picked up by the media.
Missing People, formerly the National Missing Persons Helpline (NMPH), works to get these men the same attention as others who have disappeared and whose cases are more readily picked up by the media.
Some missing people assume new identities
Some missing people assume new identities
"We will publicise all cases where they meet our criteria," says Geoff Newiss, at the charity. "That has nothing to do with age or being photogenic. We hear every day how hard it is for families."
"We will publicise all cases where they meet our criteria," says Geoff Newiss, at the charity. "That has nothing to do with age or being photogenic. We hear every day how hard it is for families."
Bernard Cook's wife Bernadette slips between past and present tenses when speaking about her husband. The mental burden on the family has been immense.
Bernard Cook's wife Bernadette slips between past and present tenses when speaking about her husband. The mental burden on the family has been immense.
"What has happened is so awful you just can't imagine what it would be like. You are not aware, you go on autopilot."
"What has happened is so awful you just can't imagine what it would be like. You are not aware, you go on autopilot."
Emotional pain is exacerbated by practical difficulties. Accessing bank accounts or settling other financial affairs is a problem. The efforts of supportive friends and family have been vital.
Emotional pain is exacerbated by practical difficulties. Accessing bank accounts or settling other financial affairs is a problem. The efforts of supportive friends and family have been vital.
And the efforts to find Mr Cook continue. With the missing man a keen climber and a Catholic, posters are in climbing huts and churches across the country.
And the efforts to find Mr Cook continue. With the missing man a keen climber and a Catholic, posters are in climbing huts and churches across the country.
Immense workload
Immense workload
"After 3-4 months you realise this could be a long, long time and you prepare yourself. Now when the phone goes you don't expect it to be news," Mrs Cook says.
"After 3-4 months you realise this could be a long, long time and you prepare yourself. Now when the phone goes you don't expect it to be news," Mrs Cook says.
Mr Cook's workload had been immense. But despite regularly working until two or three in the morning, the estates director had showed no signs he was about to be overwhelmed.
Mr Cook's workload had been immense. But despite regularly working until two or three in the morning, the estates director had showed no signs he was about to be overwhelmed.
"He was the least likely person for this to happen to. I knew he was overloaded with work but that had been the case for about the last eight months. We are all under pressure but this was excessive.
"He was the least likely person for this to happen to. I knew he was overloaded with work but that had been the case for about the last eight months. We are all under pressure but this was excessive.
There is a small group of people who go missing for a week or two and then reappear not being able to remember what happened Malcolm PayneResearcher
There is a small group of people who go missing for a week or two and then reappear not being able to remember what happened Malcolm PayneResearcher
"It must have been a massive breakdown to do anything like this. He was not a man who avoided situations he was a man who adored his children."
"It must have been a massive breakdown to do anything like this. He was not a man who avoided situations he was a man who adored his children."
Of those who have vanished, many have decided to go missing, Newiss says, for reasons including relationship breakdown, family, financial, emotional, and mental health problems.
Of those who have vanished, many have decided to go missing, Newiss says, for reasons including relationship breakdown, family, financial, emotional, and mental health problems.
And there can be a degree of ambiguity, especially in the case of men, over what it means to be missing.
And there can be a degree of ambiguity, especially in the case of men, over what it means to be missing.
As Newiss explains, some of those who are the subject of reports "never were missing in any meaningful sense".
As Newiss explains, some of those who are the subject of reports "never were missing in any meaningful sense".
Malcolm Payne studied records of missing persons prior to the setting up of the NMPH, and recognises the difficulty. He has defined being missing as an absence "interfering with the performance by that person of expected social responsibilities".
Malcolm Payne studied records of missing persons prior to the setting up of the NMPH, and recognises the difficulty. He has defined being missing as an absence "interfering with the performance by that person of expected social responsibilities".
Psychological stress
Psychological stress
"They are not missing to themselves. It is only the people who are left behind who see them as missing", he says.
"They are not missing to themselves. It is only the people who are left behind who see them as missing", he says.
"There is a small group of people who go missing for a week or two and then reappear not being able to remember what happened. That's often because of work stress."
"There is a small group of people who go missing for a week or two and then reappear not being able to remember what happened. That's often because of work stress."
Even for those who are missing for months or years, it can be suggested, as it has in the case of the canoeist, that they are suffering from some kind of dissociative amnesia or fugue, a condition sparked by psychological stress.
Even for those who are missing for months or years, it can be suggested, as it has in the case of the canoeist, that they are suffering from some kind of dissociative amnesia or fugue, a condition sparked by psychological stress.
The US medical encyclopaedia, the Merck Manual, describes dissociative fugue as "a disorder in which one or more episodes of sudden, unexpected, and purposeful travel from home (fugue) occur, during which a person cannot remember some or all of his past life".
The US medical encyclopaedia, the Merck Manual, describes dissociative fugue as "a disorder in which one or more episodes of sudden, unexpected, and purposeful travel from home (fugue) occur, during which a person cannot remember some or all of his past life".
Most often found in those who have suffered in wars, accidents, or natural disasters, the condition typically lasts only hours or days, before the sufferer recovers all or part of his original identity.
Most often found in those who have suffered in wars, accidents, or natural disasters, the condition typically lasts only hours or days, before the sufferer recovers all or part of his original identity.
Isolated cases
Isolated cases
Forensic psychiatrist Cosmo Hallstrom says cases of long-term dissociative fugue are extremely rare.
Forensic psychiatrist Cosmo Hallstrom says cases of long-term dissociative fugue are extremely rare.
"In the isolated numbers of cases I've found, it has been convenient to escape. It is very hard to decide what part is dissociative and what part is conscious. You are highly reliant on what the person tells you."
"In the isolated numbers of cases I've found, it has been convenient to escape. It is very hard to decide what part is dissociative and what part is conscious. You are highly reliant on what the person tells you."
Some cases can perhaps be explained with an answer that is somewhere between a dissociative condition and a conscious decision to adopt a new identity to avoid severe stresses, Dr Hallstrom says.
Some cases can perhaps be explained with an answer that is somewhere between a dissociative condition and a conscious decision to adopt a new identity to avoid severe stresses, Dr Hallstrom says.
"People who are under pressure in a difficult situation who stop and walk out and live a different existence and decide they want to refind themselves have to come up with a plausible explanation."
"People who are under pressure in a difficult situation who stop and walk out and live a different existence and decide they want to refind themselves have to come up with a plausible explanation."
While fugues may be rare, it is clear that for most missing men the pressure on them has been immense.
While fugues may be rare, it is clear that for most missing men the pressure on them has been immense.
And for Mrs Cook, the agony of waiting goes on.
And for Mrs Cook, the agony of waiting goes on.
"If he has had a complete breakdown and then he regains some sort of normal mental thinking he will be horrified at what he has done and the effect it has had on us. He is the most selfless man I have ever met," she says.
"If he has had a complete breakdown and then he regains some sort of normal mental thinking he will be horrified at what he has done and the effect it has had on us. He is the most selfless man I have ever met," she says.
Send us your comments using the form below.
Send us your comments using the form below.
Apparently this is becoming increasingly common in countries such as Japan where the pressure of work and family responsibilities becomes just too much. I feel so sorry for the families left behind, but also for the individual who does this sort of thing as they obviously needed help and were too afraid or ashamed to ask for it. With the pressures of modern society, will we be seeing an increase in this sort of thing?Debbie, London
My brother has been missing since late May. He is 43 with a drink problem. He split up with his girlfriend a year ago this month, tried to kill himself in January, moved in with my sister in February and was one of the main reasons that her and her husband ended up splitting up because of his unreasonable behaviour and constant alcohol abuse. He found out in March that his ex wife was going to jail and that he would be 'lumbered with the kid' and then in May disappeared.
His daughter managed to get a hold of his mobile phone number from a drinking buddy and when he answered and heard her voice he hung up. That was the last time any of my family has had contact with him. My mum takes it personally because he blamed her along with everybody else for his problems and it is having a detrimental effect on her health. Honestly I hope he turns up one day for her sake but if I don't see him before she passes away I hope he stays missing forever. No matter how bad your life is you need to realise that your actions affect others around you. You can't run away from your problems.S, Edinburgh
What do you do in the meantime though, while 'missing'? How do they keep themselves, find somewhere to live etc. Even living under the arches - as it were - takes benefits and claiming benefits needs an identity.It is very strange how they manage to survive either living off the grid or stealing an identity, especially if they are mentally ill.Jill, East Yorkshire
My son walked out of our home 18 years ago having argued with his father over the 'poll tax' we had no idea were he was although there were several sightings. It was four months before he appeared again, havng got himself a small flat. He had no idea of the stress this caused and even now it upsets me to think of those missing months. It rates as one of the worst times of my life.Sue Spring, West Midlands
Working regularly until 2 or 3 o'clock in the morning? That's ridiculous - no one can keep that up - no wonder the man went Awol. No one should be required to work those sort of hours.Alan Trowbridge, Dorchester
