Why Brooks Newmark is a knit-wit

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/sep/04/brooks-newmark-charities-knitting-politics

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What a bizarre suggestion Brooks Newmark, our new civic society minister, has made in his first major speech. He has instructed charities to “stick to their knitting” and not to “stray into the realm of politics”. He clearly hasn’t yet got the hang of what’s going on down here – another minister dragged in from outer space. So here are a few things to remember about how to behave in 21st century England, if he is to govern successfully.

1. Knitting is in

Do not sneer at knitting, Brooks. Remember that knitting is a craft. It is snobbish and condescending to mock any creative or practical manual work. Ever wondered why we don’t have enough skilled workers to cope with the building boom? Because you lot have got rid of top-quality technical colleges and apprenticeships, and believe manual = thick. You also obviously haven’t noticed that knitting has become a popular young persons’ activity. Even men do it. New knitting shops have opened and become hives of activity. And it’s make-do-and-mend time again – perhaps not in your house, but down here among the paupers, which means knitting is vital.

2. Women do lots of things these days

There seems to be an assumption here that old women work for charities, that old women also habitually sit about knitting, and really shouldn’t bother their fluffy little heads with politics. These assumptions can be put down to both ageism and sexism. It’s worth remembering, Brooks, that women of any age are now allowed to vote, attend university and take up professions. Men also run charities – they do not all rule the world, love fighting and go bull-running. And old women do lots of things, including riding bicycles, being professors, thinking and working, sometimes in politics. Some of them, like me, cannot knit.

3. It’s a good idea to make up your mind

Try to be clear and consistent with your instructions. First it’s all that “big society” blah, nagging us to voluntarily help the less fortunate, because the government can’t be fagged, but now we’re trying, through charities, it’s “stick to your knitting”.

4. Charities clean up your mess

You seem to have a bit of a problem with the idea of “politics”. Perhaps you’re in the wrong job. Charities are about politics. They step in where the politicians have failed, and mop up the mess you’ve left behind. They house the homeless, feed the hungry, look after the abused and battered, trafficked and enslaved, and care for the weakest and most vulnerable – now that your government has cut benefits, funding for refuges and legal aid; allowed zero-hours contracts and pitiful wages; encouraged greedy landlords and greed in general; refused to tax the rich efficiently, even though the gap between rich and poor in this country is colossal; and lost all sense of shame.

A charity cannot really help but highlight all this ghastliness. How else is it to raise funds to help the people you’ve failed? Have you heard of any of them? The Trussell Trust, Shelter, Crisis, Independent Age, Refuge, Women’s Aid? They’re all hoping that once you’re aware of what’s going on, you might try and put things right. I don’t expect there’s much of a hope in hell, but that’s what they’re working towards. They don’t have much time left for knitting.