Harlequins beat London Irish in comedy of errors at Twickenham

http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2014/sep/06/london-irish-harlequins-premiership-match-report

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From feast to least. If the opening match of the London double header had been a showcase of rugby union’s virtues, the follow-up flopped. Harlequins were game but found themselves sucked into an awful stop-stop affair that was disfigured by 30 penalties, numerous handling errors and some bizarre decision-making.

Quins had the will but after a bright beginning they did not have enough of the ball. They kept their tryline intact despite having two players sent to the sin-bin for dangerous tackles in the third quarter, but such was London Irish’s ineptitude that it is unlikely they would have managed to cross the line in an unopposed training session. It was sad to see given that the Exiles have long been regarded as one of the Premiership’s more ambitious clubs on the field, but having lost so many players in recent years – their former wing Marland Yarde was making his debut for Quins – the losses are telling.

Harlequins started last season lethargically, fortunate to defeat Wasps by a point here, but this time they were 10 points up in as many minutes despite Nick Evans missing an early penalty. Wearing a playing strip that was barely faithful to their distinctive colours, the 2012 champions had a thrust and understanding that Irish, who did not reach the opposition 22 in the first 40 minutes, never threatened to match.

Quins’ two tries in the first half were both soft by Premiership standards, a case for London Irish more of Topsy Ono than Ojo. The wing first rushed up in defence when his fellow defenders were drifting, allowing Ugo Monye the space to score his 50th Premiership try in the corner, and then missed a routine tackle on Ollie Lindsay-Hague, who had just replaced Monye, 40 metres out, turning what had been a hopeful foray into a try.

Ojo was a symptom of a wider disease. Irish, who have flirted with relegation in recent seasons, talked of moving up the table last season after a takeover deal wiped out their debts, but on this evidence they are shaking rather than moving. They were unfortunate to lose Ed Sheridan to the sin-bin after 27 minutes when the centre had tackled Mike Brown and immediately rolled away, conceding 10 points while he was off, but they were a pale comparison to the vivid colour of their opponents.

Two Shane Geraghty penalties were the result of the lack of threat they posed in the opening period. The fly-half, who hit the bar with a penalty from near his 10-metre line on half-time, tried to inspire those around him but such was their inertness that most of what he tried ended up on the floor.

Even when the new Harlequins captain, Joe Marler, was sent to the sin-bin 90 seconds after the restart for a dangerous tackle, Irish made no impact, battling with themselves as much as their opponents.

Irish had a two-man advantage for four minutes, Kyle Sinckler following his fellow prop into the cooler for a high tackle, again on David Paice, that prompted a bout of fist-clenching. Irish did manage to get within five metres of the tryline. Ojo was held up but when the ball was presented no one picked it up and Harlequins will not have an easier turnover all season. It was the most abject part of a game that long before the end had not only the neutrals in the crowd escaping from the ground.

Geraghty’s boot kept Irish within range of a bonus point at least. He turned the offence that took Marler to the sin-bin into three points and kicked another penalty as the prop was about to return. In contrast, Evans missed three penalties, one from virtually in front of the posts, and Quins kicked more out of hand than they had before the interval. The game stagnated and penalties abounded as the vividness of the opening match faded into the twilight.

The game fittingly ended in confusion. Lindsay-Hague claimed his second try five minutes from time after Brown’s break had been taken on by Danny Care, who chipped to the line and claimed to have been impeded before knocking on the ball. The television match official was still awake to rule it was a scrum to Irish, not a try. It was the one part of the game where Irish had been superior, but they had just taken off their two props and were penalised. Evans missed from just to the left of the posts, leaving Irish with their bonus point.