This article is from the source 'guardian' and was first published or seen on . It last changed over 40 days ago and won't be checked again for changes.

You can find the current article at its original source at http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/sep/19/queen-for-a-day-kathy-lette-female-equality

The article has changed 2 times. There is an RSS feed of changes available.

Version 0 Version 1
If I were queen for a day, female equality would become reality If I were queen for a day, female equality would become reality
(about 3 hours later)
As it’s still a man’s world, and women remain runners-up in the human race, if I were queen for a day I would wave my magic sceptre to make society more female friendly.As it’s still a man’s world, and women remain runners-up in the human race, if I were queen for a day I would wave my magic sceptre to make society more female friendly.
First, I’d enforce equal pay laws, criminalising a failure to publish male pay rates with a stint in my dungeon being groped by lecherous bosses or dismissed as being “bossy”.First, I’d enforce equal pay laws, criminalising a failure to publish male pay rates with a stint in my dungeon being groped by lecherous bosses or dismissed as being “bossy”.
For practical everyday improvements, I’d make vertiginous high-heel shoes a fashion faux pas and flats totally desirable. Or have my scientists invent a shoe that is flat all day, then turns into a fetching stiletto at night, which I could call, perhaps, the Social Climber. For practical everyday improvements, I’d make vertiginous high-heeled shoes a fashion faux pas and flats totally desirable. Or have my scientists invent a shoe that is flat all day, then turns into a fetching stiletto at night, which I could call, perhaps, the Social Climber.
My next decree would be an end to VAT on tampons. Tampons are a brilliant invention – they’re freedom, with strings attached. But tampons are not a luxury; they’re a necessity, and should actually be given out for free.My next decree would be an end to VAT on tampons. Tampons are a brilliant invention – they’re freedom, with strings attached. But tampons are not a luxury; they’re a necessity, and should actually be given out for free.
In the days of Rubens and Botticelli, to be a socialite a woman needed cellulite. Needless to say, the skinniness mantra would be banned in my female-friendly fiefdom. Society’s obsession with the bikini line would also wane. Never again would a woman have to lie naked as boiling hot wax is agonisingly wrenched from a part of her body primarily reserved for giving birth. I like my pubic hair. It’s like having a little pet in my pants. During my reign, female nether regions would be so forested they’d be awarded national park status.In the days of Rubens and Botticelli, to be a socialite a woman needed cellulite. Needless to say, the skinniness mantra would be banned in my female-friendly fiefdom. Society’s obsession with the bikini line would also wane. Never again would a woman have to lie naked as boiling hot wax is agonisingly wrenched from a part of her body primarily reserved for giving birth. I like my pubic hair. It’s like having a little pet in my pants. During my reign, female nether regions would be so forested they’d be awarded national park status.
Another priority would be working mothers. We are always running late, under-appreciated and exhausted. One morning I was so tired, I toasted my hand with strawberry jam and placed it on my daughter’s plate. Many a time I’ve thrown clothes into the washing machine with kids still in them. To ease stress, I’d install working-mother lanes next to the bus lanes, so they could get to the school gate on time.Another priority would be working mothers. We are always running late, under-appreciated and exhausted. One morning I was so tired, I toasted my hand with strawberry jam and placed it on my daughter’s plate. Many a time I’ve thrown clothes into the washing machine with kids still in them. To ease stress, I’d install working-mother lanes next to the bus lanes, so they could get to the school gate on time.
On the home front, I would make it law that men do half the housework. It would seem that the enlistment of labour on a subsistence basis is now forbidden – except in one state: the holy state of matrimony. Even though women make up half the workforce, apparently we’re still doing nearly all the domestic chores and childcare. Giving a room a sweeping glance is the closest most men come to housework, besides leaving a roasting pan to soak.On the home front, I would make it law that men do half the housework. It would seem that the enlistment of labour on a subsistence basis is now forbidden – except in one state: the holy state of matrimony. Even though women make up half the workforce, apparently we’re still doing nearly all the domestic chores and childcare. Giving a room a sweeping glance is the closest most men come to housework, besides leaving a roasting pan to soak.
Cooking classes for men would also become compulsory. In short, I would use my day as monarch to ensure that men become perfect enough to understand why we women are not. (PS I would also outlaw the beer belly, just because I can.)Cooking classes for men would also become compulsory. In short, I would use my day as monarch to ensure that men become perfect enough to understand why we women are not. (PS I would also outlaw the beer belly, just because I can.)