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Lynda Bellingham is right to speak out about her death Lynda Bellingham is right to speak out about her death
(35 minutes later)
Lynda Bellingham’s announcement that she is going to stop the chemotherapy she is having for her cancer in order, she hopes, to have one more Christmas with her family, is unusual in its straightforwardness.Lynda Bellingham’s announcement that she is going to stop the chemotherapy she is having for her cancer in order, she hopes, to have one more Christmas with her family, is unusual in its straightforwardness.
She says it was a relief to decide this as the treatment is now becoming unbearable. When she was first diagnosed, she decided not to reveal what kind of cancer she had, referring to it as “a temporary blip”. Her decision now to talk so openly about what is happening to her is significant. Imelda Redmond, the Marie Curie director of policy and public affairs, has praised her actions: “The benefit or others going through distressing times of their own is to have the language of acceptance being used by someone in the public eye.”She says it was a relief to decide this as the treatment is now becoming unbearable. When she was first diagnosed, she decided not to reveal what kind of cancer she had, referring to it as “a temporary blip”. Her decision now to talk so openly about what is happening to her is significant. Imelda Redmond, the Marie Curie director of policy and public affairs, has praised her actions: “The benefit or others going through distressing times of their own is to have the language of acceptance being used by someone in the public eye.”
Bellingham, an actor who will always be remembered for her role as the Oxo mum, is a great lover and liver of life, and I have been fortunate to experience this first-hand. To choose the time of her dying is to finally wrest back some control.Bellingham, an actor who will always be remembered for her role as the Oxo mum, is a great lover and liver of life, and I have been fortunate to experience this first-hand. To choose the time of her dying is to finally wrest back some control.
There is no right way here though. The talk of bravery and battles fought and lost is often just avoidance. In my experience, people die very much as they live but there is still an awful silence around terminal illness into which we pour our imaginings but few actual resources. There is no right way here though. The talk of bravery and battles fought and lost is often just avoidance. In my experience, people die very much as they live, but there is still an awful silence around terminal illness into which we pour our imaginings but few actual resources.
The extra time someone may have at the end of their lives – extra in that they know it will end – can be a time of mutual grieving. It is the hardest thing, but memories are made and replayed. And this: simply this, love and memory is the way life extends itself.The extra time someone may have at the end of their lives – extra in that they know it will end – can be a time of mutual grieving. It is the hardest thing, but memories are made and replayed. And this: simply this, love and memory is the way life extends itself.
Some people, such as Bellingham will choose this route, others won’t. There is no correct way but there is a huge denial about what the last few months of life can be like for many and about the choices to be made. Some people, such as Bellingham, will choose this route, others won’t. There is no correct way, but there is a huge denial about what the last few months of life can be like for many and about the choices to be made.
The announcement that there is a new drug for breast cancer (Perjeta) that may extend the lives of women with an aggressive form of the disease by 15 months, shows this is not merely an existential dilemma. It is a battle over funding, as the drug has been turned down by the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (Nice), although doctors can apply to the Cancer Drugs Fund for access to it, which itself is to be closed in 2016. Roche charges the £43,000 a year for this drug. Are 15 months of a woman’s life worth this? How precious are these final precious moments? This is to be determined by a battle in which the government generally acquiesces to the pharmaceutical industry. The announcement that there is a new drug for breast cancer (Perjeta) that may extend the lives of women with an aggressive form of the disease by 15 months, shows this is not merely an existential dilemma. It is a battle over funding, as the drug has been turned down by the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (Nice), although doctors can apply to the Cancer Drugs Fund for access to it, which itself is to be closed in 2016. Roche charges £43,000 a year for this drug. Are 15 months of a woman’s life worth this? How precious are these final moments? This is to be determined by a battle in which the government generally acquiesces to the pharmaceutical industry.
Terminal illness is therefore both political and personal. Bellingham has started a necessary conversation where often there is silence. But no one needs to be admirable. Jenny Diski, writing of her inoperable cancer, says, “there are no novel responses possible”, and wonders if she has to start a campaign, wear a badge, swim , climb or dance the tango to raise money for cancer research. No she must do what she does so supremely well. Write. Terminal illness is therefore both political and personal. Bellingham has started a necessary conversation where often there is silence. But no one needs to be admirable. Jenny Diski, writing of her inoperable cancer, says, “there are no novel responses possible”, and wonders if she has to start a campaign, wear a badge, swim, climb or dance the tango to raise money for cancer research. No, she must do what she does so supremely well: write.
The rest of us look on at these extraordinary people and wonder how we ourselves would manage. For death is the most ordinary thing, and terminal illness is everywhere. The only choice we have in the matter is whether we talk about it or not. I am so grateful that such people are speaking out, now while they can.The rest of us look on at these extraordinary people and wonder how we ourselves would manage. For death is the most ordinary thing, and terminal illness is everywhere. The only choice we have in the matter is whether we talk about it or not. I am so grateful that such people are speaking out, now while they can.