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| Version 1 | Version 2 |
|---|---|
| Boris v Theresa: Who won battle of the speeches? | Boris v Theresa: Who won battle of the speeches? |
| (about 2 hours later) | |
| They love him alright, but would they vote for him over Theresa May? | They love him alright, but would they vote for him over Theresa May? |
| That was the dilemma nagging at conference-goers as they streamed out of the hall after a typical display of verbal gymnastics - calisthenics, er, physical jerks, um, where was I? - from London mayor Boris Johnson. | That was the dilemma nagging at conference-goers as they streamed out of the hall after a typical display of verbal gymnastics - calisthenics, er, physical jerks, um, where was I? - from London mayor Boris Johnson. |
| "If only all the MPs had his charisma," said a woman from Penrith. | "If only all the MPs had his charisma," said a woman from Penrith. |
| She and her husband were positively glowing, as if they had just seen a great comic turn off the telly. One day, the party might have to choose between Boris and Theresa May - who had directly preceded the London mayor on the conference stage. Which way would they vote in a leadership contest? | She and her husband were positively glowing, as if they had just seen a great comic turn off the telly. One day, the party might have to choose between Boris and Theresa May - who had directly preceded the London mayor on the conference stage. Which way would they vote in a leadership contest? |
| "Ooh. Now you're asking." | "Ooh. Now you're asking." |
| After a considered pause, and a few wavering hand gestures, they seemed to settle on the home secretary. | After a considered pause, and a few wavering hand gestures, they seemed to settle on the home secretary. |
| "I think he needs to harness his enthusiasm," was the woman's verdict on Boris Johnson. | "I think he needs to harness his enthusiasm," was the woman's verdict on Boris Johnson. |
| 'Permission to purr' | 'Permission to purr' |
| The speech was, as we are contractually obliged to say on these occasions, vintage Boris. | The speech was, as we are contractually obliged to say on these occasions, vintage Boris. |
| Only he could pull off an extended metaphor involving Sandra Bullock, George Clooney, outer space and pensioners sheltering from Ed Miliband's tax policies. | Only he could pull off an extended metaphor involving Sandra Bullock, George Clooney, outer space and pensioners sheltering from Ed Miliband's tax policies. |
| Only Boris Johnson could describe himself as a "municipal toenail" or get a big laugh and a round of applause for hailing a company that produced "weapons-strength chilli for crowd control" ("Believe me, Theresa, they will be begging for water cannon, after that"). | |
| Or get one big laugh after another by waving a house brick around (it's too complicated to explain). | Or get one big laugh after another by waving a house brick around (it's too complicated to explain). |
| But this was relatively safe stuff compared with previous Johnson party conference speeches. There was a little tweak of David Cameron's tail. "You have my permission to purr," he said, in a cheeky reference to the Conservative leader's recent HM Queen faux pas. | But this was relatively safe stuff compared with previous Johnson party conference speeches. There was a little tweak of David Cameron's tail. "You have my permission to purr," he said, in a cheeky reference to the Conservative leader's recent HM Queen faux pas. |
| Mr Cameron was - as usual - seated in the audience to witness the London mayor getting more laughs and more applause than he will probably get during his big end-of-conference speech on Wednesday. | Mr Cameron was - as usual - seated in the audience to witness the London mayor getting more laughs and more applause than he will probably get during his big end-of-conference speech on Wednesday. |
| But this year he did not have to grin through gritted teeth. | But this year he did not have to grin through gritted teeth. |
| There was no flashing of the leg to the right wingers on Europe or taxation. Nothing that could be interpreted as a leadership bid. | There was no flashing of the leg to the right wingers on Europe or taxation. Nothing that could be interpreted as a leadership bid. |
| Johnson lavished praise on David Cameron, without a trace of irony (well, maybe a little) and stuck to his patented brand of bullish boosterism (the party prizes him for his ability to make Conservativism sound life-affirming and fun, rather than a dry exercise in accounting). | Johnson lavished praise on David Cameron, without a trace of irony (well, maybe a little) and stuck to his patented brand of bullish boosterism (the party prizes him for his ability to make Conservativism sound life-affirming and fun, rather than a dry exercise in accounting). |
| Theresa May also stuck to what she does best. Delivering a stern lecture to the party about complex, difficult issues that they might not necessarily want to think about. | Theresa May also stuck to what she does best. Delivering a stern lecture to the party about complex, difficult issues that they might not necessarily want to think about. |
| In this case, the fight against Islamist extremism and the need to stop young black men being searched by the police because of the colour of their skin. | In this case, the fight against Islamist extremism and the need to stop young black men being searched by the police because of the colour of their skin. |
| The London mayor gloried in polysyllabic verbal adventures. Theresa stuck to plain language delivered in a calm, measured, but forceful way. Like a chief constable briefing the media after a grave incident. | The London mayor gloried in polysyllabic verbal adventures. Theresa stuck to plain language delivered in a calm, measured, but forceful way. Like a chief constable briefing the media after a grave incident. |
| Johnson pulled his best deadpan expression as he soaked up the applause. | Johnson pulled his best deadpan expression as he soaked up the applause. |
| There was much less applause during Theresa May's speech and when it came she looked almost annoyed by it. There was no hiding the standing ovation at the end - the speech had gone down well. | There was much less applause during Theresa May's speech and when it came she looked almost annoyed by it. There was no hiding the standing ovation at the end - the speech had gone down well. |
| She allowed herself a tight little smile as she hailed her deportation victory over the European Court of Human Rights. | She allowed herself a tight little smile as she hailed her deportation victory over the European Court of Human Rights. |
| She was not above a bit of party politics either - bashing the Liberal Democrats for blocking the Communications Data Bill. This elicited a low groan of approval, almost a boo, from the audience. | She was not above a bit of party politics either - bashing the Liberal Democrats for blocking the Communications Data Bill. This elicited a low groan of approval, almost a boo, from the audience. |
| It was a tiny touch of pantomime in a very sober, and sobering, address (Johnson, on the other hand, kicked off his speech with a bit of call-and-response that was pure pantomime). | It was a tiny touch of pantomime in a very sober, and sobering, address (Johnson, on the other hand, kicked off his speech with a bit of call-and-response that was pure pantomime). |
| There are other likely contenders for the leadership if a vacancy comes up. They include, of course, Chancellor George Osborne, who delivered a well-received, serious and - as Ken Clarke called it at an event last night - "grown-up" address on Monday. | There are other likely contenders for the leadership if a vacancy comes up. They include, of course, Chancellor George Osborne, who delivered a well-received, serious and - as Ken Clarke called it at an event last night - "grown-up" address on Monday. |
| But this was a rare chance for party members to see the two other most fancied runners go head-to-head. | But this was a rare chance for party members to see the two other most fancied runners go head-to-head. |
| The ones I spoke to thought it was too close to call. But they were at least grateful, they said, for the demonstration of talent at the top of the party. | The ones I spoke to thought it was too close to call. But they were at least grateful, they said, for the demonstration of talent at the top of the party. |