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Football transfer rumours: Manchester City to sell Yaya Touré to PSG? Football transfer rumours: Manchester City to sell Yaya Touré to PSG?
(35 minutes later)
Few things in football are more tedious than the Bandwagon. In the beginning, there’s the Opinion, perhaps a widely-held view that Alan and Mark and Gary espouse on the Saturday evening sofa and they all nod sagely so they can fill the time before the next round of light banter. Then there’s the Backlash, in which the Opinion and those so very naïve enough to think it in the first place are taken apart, often with some aggression. The Backlash can then spawn the Backlash to the Backlash, but it could also become the Bandwagon, in which the Backlash turns full circle and becomes the Opinion. There’s all sorts of earnest discussion, shouting and slanging matches, everyone forgets what we were arguing about in the first place and we all go to bed at night dreaming of the merciful release of the infinite.Few things in football are more tedious than the Bandwagon. In the beginning, there’s the Opinion, perhaps a widely-held view that Alan and Mark and Gary espouse on the Saturday evening sofa and they all nod sagely so they can fill the time before the next round of light banter. Then there’s the Backlash, in which the Opinion and those so very naïve enough to think it in the first place are taken apart, often with some aggression. The Backlash can then spawn the Backlash to the Backlash, but it could also become the Bandwagon, in which the Backlash turns full circle and becomes the Opinion. There’s all sorts of earnest discussion, shouting and slanging matches, everyone forgets what we were arguing about in the first place and we all go to bed at night dreaming of the merciful release of the infinite.
One of the current Bandwagons has it that Yaya Touré is actually not much good anymore and Manchester City are best shot of him. This, apparently, if you believe the word around the campfire, is a view held in the hallowed halls of the Etihad, for they are considering putting Yaya in a box and leaving him underneath a pool table in a pub somewhere – and by ‘pub somewhere’ we mean ‘outside the Parc de Princes and hope Paris Saint-Germain give them a thick wedge of cash for their now-unwanted midfielder.’ To replace him, they will turn to either Paul Pogba or Cheick Tioté, which is a little like considering replacing a rib-eye steak with either a juicy piece of filet or a cheese toastie, but apparently Arsenal are keen on the not-as-good-as-he-used-to-be Newcastle midfielder as well. One of the current Bandwagons has it that Yaya Touré is actually not much good anymore and Manchester City are best shot of him. This, apparently, if you believe the word around the campfire, is a view held in the hallowed halls of the Etihad, for they are considering putting Yaya in a box and leaving him underneath a pool table in a pub somewhere – and by ‘pub somewhere’ we mean ‘outside the Parc de Princes and hope Paris Saint-Germain give them a thick wedge of cash for their now-unwanted midfielder.’ To replace him, they will turn to either Paul Pogba or Cheick Tioté, which is a little like replacing a rib-eye steak with either a juicy piece of filet or a cheese toastie, but apparently Arsenal are keen on the not-as-good-as-he-used-to-be Newcastle midfielder as well.
Speaking of Arsenal, it seems that their desire for a midfielder with a little more presence than a rice cake might be sated soon enough, with whispers that Sami Khedira could have already agreed to join their gang come January. His contract runs out next summer, but Germany’s finest musketeer lookalike has seemingly grown impatient with Real Madrid insisting on playing those players they spend oodles of cash on instead of him, even though he was part of that expensive group only a few years ago. They’re also seemingly well up for reviving a move for Schalke forward Julian Draxler, while on the other end of the ‘Well, they definitely need that sort of player’ scale, the Gunners are also reportedly keen on Juventus munchkin Sebastian Giovinco. Speaking of Arsenal, it seems that their desire for a midfielder with a little more presence than a rice cake might be sated soon enough, with whispers that Sami Khedira could have already agreed to join their gang come January. His contract runs out next summer, but Germany’s finest Musketeer lookalike has seemingly grown impatient with Real Madrid insisting on playing those players they spend oodles of cash on instead of him, even though he was part of that expensive group only a few years ago. Arsenal are also seemingly well up for reviving a move for Schalke’s forward Julian Draxler, while on the other end of the ‘Well, they definitely need that sort of player’ scale, the Gunners are also reportedly keen on Juventus munchkin Sebastian Giovinco.
The Raheem Sterling saga might not actually be a saga yet, and Liverpool definitely seem keen on it staying that way, looking to draw up a new contract for their man lest someone nick him. In this scenario they are Dolly Parton, they’re begging PSG/Jolene not to take their man, just because they can, and it seems a fresh contract worth a very nice indeed £100,000-a-week might persuade Raheem to eschew the flowing locks of auburn hair/tripled wages on offer in Paris and stick around on Merseyside.The Raheem Sterling saga might not actually be a saga yet, and Liverpool definitely seem keen on it staying that way, looking to draw up a new contract for their man lest someone nick him. In this scenario they are Dolly Parton, they’re begging PSG/Jolene not to take their man, just because they can, and it seems a fresh contract worth a very nice indeed £100,000-a-week might persuade Raheem to eschew the flowing locks of auburn hair/tripled wages on offer in Paris and stick around on Merseyside.
While Liverpool’s keen desire to keep hold of Sterling and thus give him a new contract is a pressing concern, one wouldn’t think there’s quite as much urgency at Manchester United to tie Michael Carrick down to fresh terms, but they’re going to do it anyway. Carrick’s current deal runs out at the end of the season, and Louis van Gaal apparently reckons he’ll have a big role in helping out some of United’s young players, even if he doesn’t really have a big role in playing football for them, since Daley Blind has rather emphatically usurped the currently-injured Geordie. United are also sniffing around Fiorentina winger Juan Cuadrado with the enthusiasm of an airport dog as a man wearing hessian strides and sandals tries to look all innocent as he nonchalantly tries to wander through customs. While Liverpool’s keen desire to keep hold of Sterling and thus give him a new contract is a pressing concern, one wouldn’t think there’s quite as much urgency at Manchester United to tie Michael Carrick down to fresh terms, but they’re going to do it anyway. Carrick’s current deal runs out at the end of the season, and Louis van Gaal apparently reckons he’ll have a big role in helping out some of United’s young players, even if he doesn’t really have a big role in playing football for them, since Daley Blind has rather emphatically usurped the currently-injured Geordie. United are also sniffing around Fiorentina’s winger Juan Cuadrado with the enthusiasm of an airport dog as a man wearing hessian strides and sandals tries to look all innocent as he nonchalantly tries to wander through customs.
There could be a stramash in Manchester, with men from City and United set to meet at dawn on Deansgate to wrestle for the honour of a good man, in this case Barcelona left-back Jordi Alba. The Catalans want a more disciplined man on the port side of their defence it seems, which sounds rather unlike them, but who is the Rumour Mill to cast doubt on the elevated discussions of the mighty/the gossip pages? Nobody, that’s who. There could be a stramash in Manchester, with men from City and United set to meet at dawn on Deansgate to wrestle for the honour of a good man, in this case Barcelona’s left-back Jordi Alba. The Catalans want a more disciplined man on the port side of their defence it seems, which sounds rather unlike them, but who is the Rumour Mill to cast doubt on the elevated discussions of the mighty/the gossip pages? Nobody, that’s who.
The headline ‘Liverpool keen on Diao move’ might cause reds everywhere to scratch their heads and think they’ve been transported back to the heady summer of love, 2002, but it ain’t the lad Salif that they’re keen on this time, but rather Keita Baldé Diao, a striker who started life in Barcelona’s youth team before doing one to Lazio, where he’s having all manner of fun. The 19-year-old will cost them circa £15m, it seems.The headline ‘Liverpool keen on Diao move’ might cause reds everywhere to scratch their heads and think they’ve been transported back to the heady summer of love, 2002, but it ain’t the lad Salif that they’re keen on this time, but rather Keita Baldé Diao, a striker who started life in Barcelona’s youth team before doing one to Lazio, where he’s having all manner of fun. The 19-year-old will cost them circa £15m, it seems.
Finally, as all the best bands know it’s advisable to close on a big one, a killer, something to send everyone away and home happy. So know this: Tottenham are lining up a £4m bid for Anderlecht’s Honduras winger Andy Najar. Oh yes. Goodnight Cleveland.Finally, as all the best bands know it’s advisable to close on a big one, a killer, something to send everyone away and home happy. So know this: Tottenham are lining up a £4m bid for Anderlecht’s Honduras winger Andy Najar. Oh yes. Goodnight Cleveland.